I Hate This!!!

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Eagle15, Apr 26, 2016.

  1. Eagle15

    Eagle15 Fapstronaut

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    I'm an Addict. I have blocked everything so now I have been trying every P sub known.
    "Massage" Phone, text, youtube and I'm a disaster. I'm a sick pervert. My completely dopamine soaked brain won't rest for a moment. Just the other day I was so happy and peaceful because I hadn't relapsed, now I did and I feel like I've been thrown back into the pit. I want to get out but the cravings are so intense I can actually feel my head on fire. Help Please Pray for me.
     
    handyman likes this.
  2. Good job on making the first step into recovery. But blocking things wont matter if your intentions dont change, you'll just bypass your blocks and its like the urges will go away.. Trust me they can last long enough for you to format your computer and restore your phone to factory settings and you still wont smarten up.

    From my experience, using k9/iphone restriction only made things worse for me and made it impossible for me to have long streaks because i would be constantly reminded about porn when it was blocked and the filters.. popping up.

    What you need to do is detox, you probably have some form of internet addiction that you need to cleanse your mind from.. How you do this is not by just being anxious and feeling guilty about it, you make practice moves with your body and mind. it needs to become a way of life and not just one time thing, you can go on and reach 30 days by just edging and escaping, eventually you will relapse again and thats not a bad thing as long as you learn from it.

    I suggest turning off your phone's internet when you dont need it, if your work has a whatsapp group then check it once every few days but thats it, turn it back off afterwards. Just detox, like a coke addict you need to detox from the internet and its probably easier to detox from actual drugs than the internet... Same thing with your computer, turn off the internet and dont use it unless its for studying/work related tasks and when ever you see yourself drifting to the youtube part and then the 'boredom' stage hits and you switch to porn.. just turn off your computer.

    There is no special trick here, you really just have to give time for your mind and body to heal and detox from internet addiction.

    Do this for a day, if you manage then go for 2 days.. If you manage then go for a week. If you fail then try again.

    Dont ever give up.
     
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  3. Eagle15

    Eagle15 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks That will definitely help, But I was addicted to porn for 25 years before internet porn even existed. The urges last for days.
     
    handyman likes this.
  4. Eagle15

    Eagle15 Fapstronaut

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    This is a nightmare, I thought I was getting better and now it is 10 times worse. It is all I do to keep from bursting into tears here at work. I don't want to live like this anymore.
     
    handyman likes this.
  5. Dude just stick through this. Don't peak don't edge don't look!! It's hard of course it is!! If it was easy these forums would not exist
     
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  6. Delphic maxims

    Delphic maxims Fapstronaut

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    It's supposed to be this way unfortunately, in fact, it's pretty "normal". Keep fighting and don't ever give up!
     
    Last edited: Apr 28, 2016
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  7. oreogirl

    oreogirl Fapstronaut

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    This addiction is a monster beast, with a thick layer of self loathing on top. My 50 year old husband, with 40 years of addiction behind him, is 43 days into his first reboot. This morning was the first morning he has had an urge to "look". He is heart broken, he feels sick, he looks at me and says I can't go back there, I won't survive, it was killing me.
    Any advice?
    I can tell you what I told him, it is a disease, nothing more, nothing less. It is not you, it is a broken part of you that will be hard to fix, but it can be fixed, or managed. Remember you can do hard things.
    He is one of the best, sweetest, noble people I know - he is so much more then a PMO addict, and you are too. Your post has really touched me deeply, it helps me see into the horribleness of this. Try to remember you are a good person worthy of a life without P. Good luck, you will be in my thoughts today ❤️
     
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  8. Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

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    This is your wake up call. Your better instincts have declared war on your baser ones. This is the beginning of your climb toward continence. All the best!
     
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