I have 4 little brothers and I dont want them to go through what I have experienced. I need advice.

[Bar2]

So, what the title says, I have 4 little brothers, one of them is 12 yo and it's about time that he sees porn recommended by his friends or searching it by itself in the laptop.

A little background first. I live in a catholic family and although I am no longer christian (I recently became atheist) the enviroment he lives in is totally catholic. That means that there is little to no serious explanation about sex ed or explanations about what it is what we have down there.
This lack of education also affected me and made me discover things by myself and became hooked to pmo very young. Although I have a different story and more complicated than that, that I will eventually explain, I fear he can become addicted if he does not get minimally educated about the issue.

I don't think he knows more than what it's told in the schools in science classes and I know I have to do something, but I know I can't say him some things because that could make him too curious, but if nobody explains him anything about, certainly he will know it from someone else and that is worse.

What should I do as a brother that looks for the best for his little bro?

 

[elvagoazul]

In my opinion

Kids, at that age react better to positive reinforcement. When you tell them to avoid porn, explain the reasons, you can use scientific-based information, and be honest. Youg boys are smarter than we think, and they hate when someone forbids something just because it is "bad" without saying why.

 

[beginagain]

^I agree. Focusing on the potential positives and using "don't be like me" can be a powerful motivator I'd think. If you're honest about it, explain why so many people get addicted, like there's a video of this very intelligent and lucid heroin addict explaining why he consciously chose heroin over his girlfriend/apt/dog, and why he continues to choose that drug over his past/potential life. Drugs and addiction seriously ruin lives and they are unbelievably difficult to overcome. Explaining the potential benefits of nofap, as well as the negative long-term effects of porn to him might be more effective than "don't watch."

If I could go back in time and talk to my 11 year old self I'd say "never watch porn. you might actually have the confidence to be in relationships with the girls who like you, you might love yourself enough to be comfortable in a relationship instead of getting scared shitless after every first date and calling everything off before it even starts. Don't become a 21-year-old kissless virgin when you could have had fulfilling relationships with girls for years. You'll even save yourself from dopamine desensitization and ED."

The religious aspect is really difficult. But if no one talks about porn in your community (like no one did with me, except my friends who always joke about it and act like it's not harmful) it'll drive people your brothers farther into the dark, farther from open conversation. You talking about it openly with them is a service they may not realize the value of until much later.

When your brothers are old enough they will truly recognize you as their hero. I wish I had a brother like you looking out for me. I only have a younger sister so, doesn't apply for me. And even if they do struggle with it, you'll be there to help.

 

[Mirach]

Thank you for this conversation guys.