i have a gf but...

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by nofepfepforlife, Jun 15, 2018.

  1. nofepfepforlife

    nofepfepforlife Fapstronaut

    its LDR and she never seems happy with me. we tend to argue a lot. i trust shes loyal and she knows iam too but she also comes off as very immature at times and difficult to discuss feelings with (ha sounds like IM the woman, right?). ive gone through hoops of fire to be with her and make a future for ourselves and she says she appreciates but doesnt really truly understand what it means. at the same time, i truly believe i cant get any better than her. she has a low sexual partner count, isn't a degenerate, isn't corrupted by feminism or typical behaviors of modern western women yet we just dont get a long very well. lots of anger for both of us. even a few times we were together i felt a sense of loneliness...like there was a disconnect. all she ever wanted to do was sit in her bed and watch cartoons or movies. we never even cuddled after sex, she was always very keen and in a rush to go clean herself then back to watching things. ive even brought this up with her and she says she'll make good on that stuff but never does.

    my first gf was actually a complete person but funnily enough i actually felt a sense closeness with her. maybe my gf is just really dumb? idk...i know that sounds terrible and makes me look like an asshole but i feel like shes not that bright...at least on an interpersonal level (am i using the right word?). she cannot seem to handle disagreements very well at all, she resorts to raging very quickly and it always ends up with me being the bad guy or the guilty sad jerk and having to apologize for "disturbing our peace".

    iam not very experienced in relationships so maybe some advice from older gents here could shed some light on the situation.

    i went on bit of a tangent...i just dont think i could do any better. iam told iam a good looking guy and i do get looks from girls very often but at the same time iam a pretty abnormal person (not a freak, i just deviate from whats considered normal in an obvious way). this will sound terrible but i think shes one of the very few girls on this planet that would accept someone like me. i have very mild pdd-nos (atypical autism) that i wad diagnosed with around 4 or 5 years old and i was diagnosed with a personality disorder at age 23. i feel like she uses the personality disorder diagnosis against me some times, as a way to shut down my feelings or view points...like anything i say negative must just be a form of delusional or paranoia..ive told her its invaliding but shes a bit immature and is quick to rage and if i try to meet her point of view with my own (force?).
    tIoD likes this.
  2. nofepfepforlife

    nofepfepforlife Fapstronaut

    anyway cant see the point living if we cant get it to work. all my many months of crafting the perfect diet and shaping my body into something athletic and getting a well paying job just seem utterly pointless. whats the best i can do? hop in my car and go excessively fast every night just to feel a slinge twinge of Adrenalin? spend a thousand dollars a month on a hooker? seems like a pretty empty existence to me. could go back to just being obese, a drug addict and playing vidya forever but i cant even enjoy that.
    FX-05 likes this.
  3. Seems to me your looking at this all wrong , You have lost weight ,that is great many people want to do that, you have a well paying job that's great a lot of people would like to be well payed , Also you have a lot of will power because losing weight is not easy . You seem to have a lot of positive stuff working for you find someone who appreciates that don't get stuck on one women I wasted a lot of my time when I was younger on women that were not the best fit for me and got very pissed and depressed about it until I made a choice to move on and yes there were better women that liked me just as I am and were not as nuts as some of the ones I used to date. You know what YOU CAN TOO, I KNOW IT you have more going on for you than I did when I was younger.
  4. TheNewPat

    TheNewPat Fapstronaut

    Soz. Stopped reading midway through..
    Way too judgemental.

  5. nofepfepforlife

    nofepfepforlife Fapstronaut

    okay cuck
    Headspace likes this.
  6. justmyusername

    justmyusername Fapstronaut

    "we just dont get a long very well." that's what its all about in the end man. How can you build a long term future with someone that you don't get on with? That's more likely to get worse than better.
  7. You seem like a self aware person who can concentrate and work towards important topics in life for ex health, finance, staying clean of addictions, processing feeling etc there's absolutely no point thinking you won't get anyone better because this is mostly just ego playing with your head..most important thing in a relationship is working out on the stuff that really matters for the 2 people involved as a team if that's not happen one might end up wasting important time in life invested in the wrong person ..deep down you know what you want .
  8. _Xavier_

    _Xavier_ Fapstronaut

    Real-Time Relationships PDF
    Real-Time Relationships MP3

    It's a lot of work/self-sacrifice to "make things work" - if you can even call it that - that much I can tell you for any type of relationship. It is pretty costly and even harmful to yourself in my opinion. Otherwise this book dives into what love is from a logical perspective and closer to the end gives you some good examples of how to communicate in real-time to either save your relationships or save yourself from crappy relationships (and it provides a model for a healthy relationship). It is a very challenging read for most people. It can provoke a lot of discomfort or anxiety because it calls out the problems we have had with our families, but I think it is worth it for the end goal of a happy long-term relationship.
    Daristocratify likes this.
  9. sj2003

    sj2003 New Fapstronaut

    Jesus after all that do you think its still worth it to keep her? I mean theres always a possibility a break on that level can help restore what ever was left of your relationship. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Im gonna be honest with you. As I was reading your post, I got a small glimpse of my future with a girl. I spoke about here in this topic section too Loneliness. Sorry I can't be much help but please check out my post if you have time because its enlightening discovery I made and lots of things to consider.

    Keep doing your thing bro
  10. tIoD

    tIoD Fapstronaut

    You Know what I did when I had such thoughts in my mind? I just broke up with her and it was a good move. When you push hard it's shit sometimes.
    Good luck to you. Just keep in mind that it's your life and never let anyone to make you feel bad, even yourself.
    Like for Anthony tho.. How you doin'? Love that
    Last edited: Jun 18, 2018
    nofepfepforlife likes this.
  11. tIoD

    tIoD Fapstronaut

    Ofc he should be judgmental. What? She may be his future wife, he may be with her rest of his life and it's situation where you should judge every act of person, because it will affect you. Just think about it.
  12. Your girlfriend sound like my ex, the amount of childishness that came from that woman was unbelievable. It was an LDR too. I would say this relationship has the signs of a doomed relationship and it would be best if you ended it now. I thought for my relationship as well for a whole year only to realise it was doomed a year later.

    Don't think she's the only girl for you and even if she is it is better to be on your own than be with someone who makes you feel unhappy. I know when you're with someone and you think you can't live without them but you can. I didn't die when my relationships came to an end. In fact, there are many benefits to being single.
    nofepfepforlife likes this.
  13. _Xavier_

    _Xavier_ Fapstronaut


    I've had girls tell me with a giggle after telling me some horridly irresponsible thing that they did, "Don't judge!" Fuck yes I will judge you! If I had kids with you, what the hell will my son and daughter learn from you when I'm not around?!?

    What will you do behind my back?
    What verbal commitments will you break?
    What mistakes will you not learn from?
    How much of my income will you divorce me for?

    No way!

    Better triple condom that one if you play that hellhole lottery!

    Pardon my french.
    nofepfepforlife and tIoD like this.
  14. Ancheme

    Ancheme Fapstronaut

    Hi nofepfepforlife,

    why don't you take some time off? Don't see her for a few days, better weeks, and you'll know what to do. What's more important, she'll probably know she needs to change and you are serious about it. There is always a chance she is just immature and confused about feelings and "appropriate" behaviors, and acts in that painful way not because she is evil/bad/whatever, but because she cares too much and tries to play the part, including being distant. (Maybe she thinks "all guys hate cuddling", which is bullshit, since I'm at least one who likes it.)

    Good luck with that. And if you discover she is just dumb (in terms of emotional intelligence), you've got a car, a job and determination, so you'll be okay running and not looking back.
    nofepfepforlife likes this.
  15. Prince The Alpha Male

    Prince The Alpha Male Fapstronaut

    Hey there I have once been in the same position. A girl doing me wrong having me take the blame for it.. It usually works when U got strong feelings for the person and they see that and start taking advantage. Knowing at the end of the day they would be forgiven.

    I walked away, finally!!!! This not only saved me but a few years later she contacted me telling me on what a big mistake it was letting me go blah blah blah, what cares.. Yes I didn't care anymore and that was her biggest fear, I learnt to stop putting so much time and energy on people and things that don't give back even a piece of it. I realised fake friends with this different attitude I've adopted who always wanted to hang with me only if I bought alcohol. Everytime I visited without anything they would disappear one by one. Yep it's sad. We are the types of people that give other people much more then they deserve my friend.

    I'm am currently in a relationship of my dreams all because I've learnt to stand up for myself and walk away when things aren't served right. My girlfriend knows I would die for her but also knows I would walk away anytime of she took that for granted and she loves and respects that.

    She does things your dream girl would do, morning texts, phone calls, checking up on me if I go MIA from social media for more then a day, she worries a lot and always wants to be the first to text me a good morning message, we basically make it fun by seeung who will wake up first to send it, she always wins oviasly, Lol. Abd I always treat her ten times better to show my appreciation.. My point here is relationships should be 50/50 always.

    Right now you seem to always be depressed in your relationship and that's very unhealthy. Stand up for yourself and let her know how much U love her but with her attitude lately U cannot continue with the relationship, as much as U love her U can't take it anymore. I promise she might act up and say "okay" or "Do what you want" or "it's fine" but make sure to not say anything harsh. Just tell her how awesome it felt meeting her and U just wished she felt what you feel for her and how U wish U both met at a different time in different circumstances and just walk away my friend. She will realise in weeks, months or even years how I've actually kept up with her shit coz most guys won't. She will miss you, but it will be too late.

    Just decide today to get up and walk away I promise as time goes U will realise that that was the best decision uve made in that entire lifespan of that relationship.

    Good luck body and message me anytime for anything
    nofepfepforlife and Ancheme like this.

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