I have a new girlfriend

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by Professor of Logic, Feb 5, 2021.

  1. Professor of Logic

    Professor of Logic Fapstronaut

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    Hello. I am 31 years old and have a new gf. We have been together for about 2 months now and I really like the girl.

    We have had intercourse probably only 10 times. I have to juice up and take the blue pill before and I don't even tell her this =(

    I have begun the conversation that I am not as horny as I used to be and have more trouble with getting an erection, also told her I think porn is terrible for you (I think even she looks at P a bit but she is smart and understands my sentiment) and I am actively trying to never view it.

    Anyway I don't want to have to take bluepill to be in the mood to be with someone I really like. I used to be in the mood to have sex with my ex multiple times a day and now I can't believe at such a young age I am sneak taking blue an hour before meeting up with my new gf cause she wants to have sex. It's pathetic I am tired of this crap and I want to change.

    My P and M over the last few years has declined a lot but I was a pretty heavy P user since I had a laptop at 15. I would like to end looking at this garbage once and for all. Advice is welcomed especially for anyone who has tried to defeat PIED while starting a relationship.
     
    TheForsakeen, Sutsu and Oliver Gunter like this.
  2. Loko24

    Loko24 Fapstronaut

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    hey my friend i have exactly the same problem. i just had 3 dates and the girl likes me. i like her too and i think we'll have sex soon. I also have to take the blue pill because otherwise it won't work :( only have 3 pieces because they are really expensive


    in any case, I want to tell her. I'm feeling really bad about it too.

    However, I have the hope that real sex might do me good. and the problem of the pied goes away. how are your experiences?

    By the way, I'm 24 years old and have had the problem for three or four years. therefore had no female contact since that time and very little before.

    I would tell her you don't want to hurt her or end it.
     
  3. Uncle_Iroh

    Uncle_Iroh Fapstronaut

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    I'm happy for you, let's get that out of the way, it's good that you've had to confidence to start a relationship when you're fighting this, for it's hard. Next though is that you need to understand something that is crucial and many people don't say. Sex will probably never be as good as porn for you, maybe it can have new feelings within intimacy and the love of the person you're with, but ultimately it will probably never have that tight pants and mind buzzing feeling that porn gives you. That's the addiction, it's the brain shooting out all those good chemicals and making you go crazy. In time you will come to have natural erections again, but it may take time and don't allow yourself to be angry if you don't anytime soon. Anger, sadness and anxiety cause ED just as much as Porn can, Anxiety Induced Erectile Disfunction is common after PIED, but you need to learn to deal with the thoughts and relax yourself to overcome it.

    I would recommend talking to your girlfriend, it will helo clear your mind and help her understand the situation more. Addiction thrives in secrecy, when you rid it of it's power in secrecy you are taking abck some fo the power for yourself, so be open with her and find yourself a group to talk to aswell. I attend SAA meetings and they have been a big help, seeing others in the same position as me from all walks of life, in all different levels of recovery gives you hope for yourself and people to help you through this.

    I hope this helps, message me if you need more information!
     
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  4. Professor of Logic

    Professor of Logic Fapstronaut

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    She would prefer to have sex twice a day and I have the desire pretty much never and we end up having sex a few times a week.

    It makes her insecure that I don't want to have sex all the time even though I have told her it is me, I have a problem and that she is gorgeous.

    I am afraid of this blue pill stuff like there is no going back ever once I do it too much but I also think its unfair for her she didn't meet me at a younger age and get the best of my sex drive- so I'll just keep taking it.

    Good to know about that sex will never be as good as P now. I am not surprised as I have very little desire for sex anymore already it feels like a chore.
     
  5. Professor of Logic

    Professor of Logic Fapstronaut

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    Some ladies view sex as currency (or at least worth something) and they are disappointed when they find out their money is no good on my PIED
     
    Oliver Gunter likes this.
  6. Agent

    Agent Fapstronaut

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    Porn and masturbation is a real killer when it comes to have pleasure with your partner.
    Be honest with her, in the end if she loves you she won't leave you behind just because you facing this problem. Unless you view her as a way to satisfy your urges..

    If she looks at porn be careful with that... If she thinks there's nothing wrong with it, i'm sure she won't be with you much longer, in the end you are not a sex machine neither a pornstar right?

    Its your girlfriend, talk with her about it and see what she says about it
     
  7. Timecop

    Timecop Fapstronaut

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    The brain is malleable, you can change its sexual arousal response. It takes time. Have you read the book: Your brain on porn? Definitively read It, its going to change the way you see things.
     
    Oliver Gunter likes this.
  8. ISOhappiness

    ISOhappiness Fapstronaut

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    IMO don’t share your PMO struggles with your girl. Most girls don’t like porn and it creates insecurities for them whether the admit it or realize it. They also judge you out of that same insecurity and hell it is a dirty habit and we should be judged LOL.

    Regarding what you think is PIED. I have a friend who does not have a P problem and when he cheated on his wife he couldn’t get it up in the beginning and hit and miss for a while. Point is, anxiety kills wood. It’s normal.

    The blue pill. I have used it maybe 10 times and only for when I want to have an extra long sesh. Once or twice when I was just not feeling horny for a week or so (too ouch regular sex) and wanted to step up for my girl. I also worry that if I did it too much, even at my best without it, I would not be as hard for as long and my girl would get suspicious. Point is, take it rarely for extra fun. You are young.

    Starve your brain of P and M and weaken that wiring. 2 weeks and I think you will find some wood. But stay on your reboot 60-90 days. No Psubs avoid social media and tv.

    Best of luck
     
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  9. brassknucks

    brassknucks Fapstronaut

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    That was quick! Two months only? How long before she had that exclusivity talk with you?
     
  10. PeterBE

    PeterBE Fapstronaut

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    I would suggest you to work out a lot, eat healthy, cold showers and be in the moment.

    I'm now around day 60 and my boner this morning lasted for like half an hour or even an entire episode of a series (almost 1 h) but I stayed strong and survived it.
     
    Oliver Gunter likes this.

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