I have a question why we spend a lot of our time trying to have meaningless sex.

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Deleted Account, Nov 17, 2020.

  1. Why many of us spend a lot of our time trying to have meaningless sex.Knowing that is a waste of time.
     
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  2. young Dale Dan Tony

    young Dale Dan Tony Fapstronaut

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    Because it brings pleasure and it can make people happy.
     
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  3. I just feel a tiny bit pressured because I'm still a virgin (17) and a lot of people I know lost theirs when they were like 14-16. It doesn't bother me that much because I know it really doesn't matter and that I'll eventually get a gf anyway (I reckon next year lol). I've been approached and shit in the past, but I either never liked the girls who approached me, or I was just intimidated by them/too scared to make a move.
     
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  4. PowerOverMind

    PowerOverMind Fapstronaut

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    There's two answers to your question, first because unfortunately modern society tells us so, it tells us to go waste our money at nightlife venues like clubs and bars in hope that a 4/10 would walk back home with us and we'd feel validated the next day and live to tell the tale to our friends. It tells us in order to feel a sense of worth after a breakup that we should sleep with someone because modern society tells us to be in synergy with our ego and build our social credit score. This is thanks to the counterculture of the 60s and the introduction of birth control.

    The second answer, is that through meaningless sex you lose yourself to find who and what you are, you discover who your ideal future wife or partner will be, you'll build the confidence and social skills to go and talk to that person when the opportunity arises. Some people naturally have these traits and others don't, some people already know what they want in their future wives and for those people they are happy to commit to a monogamous relationship in the early stages of their lives.

    What's funny is that just like you I too am a victim of having meaningless sex.
     
    Last edited: Dec 8, 2020
  5. JiminyCricket

    JiminyCricket Fapstronaut

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    I lost my virginity at age 21 through meaningless sex with a friend. I found out she had an STD 2 weeks later and she felt terrible. Fortunately I didn't contract it. The truth is sex is not meaningless. The natural end of sex is to make babies, so it would naturally make sense to be ready to raise a baby with the person you have sex with. Why is it that PMO makes us all so miserable? I think the answer is, at least in part, because sex is not meaningless. But we are human and we continue to return to the things that make us unhappy.
     
  6. GeeJ

    GeeJ Fapstronaut

    No answer for you their. I am more on the asexual spectrum. I never say the point in sex or relationships anyway.
     
  7. Freedom_from_PMO

    Freedom_from_PMO Fapstronaut

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    The trend that society expects people to have sex ten or more years before they can marry (I am not talking about legal age, but realistic time when couple have resources to live independent life) is just wierd.

    The amusing side effects of 14 year olds having sex are pedos ranting on 4chan that they were denied this lol.
     
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  8. OffCartman

    OffCartman Fapstronaut

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    It's our primal instinct, there's no escaping that.
     
  9. Yes it is meaningless and waste of a tremendous evolutionary path if it ends on bed sheets.
     
  10. Sex can and should be meaningful and wonderful :) So you are right, it would be a waste of time to chase after sex just for a passing sensation. Sex is made to be a splendid expression of deep intimacy, beyond just the sensation. If we have made mistakes in the past, we can accept mercy and humbly aim to do better in the future.

    All the actions we do with our body 'say something', because of body language. So, sex says something by body language. What sex really should say is "I love you, all of you, only you, forever; and I am willing/eager to have children with you" :)

    Sex means this, because there is no way to be more physically intimate with someone, and so it is representative of giving everything of ourselves. To share each others' WHOLE bodies is representative of sharing each others' WHOLE lives, uniting exclusively, with deep love that welcomes children if they come along. If that is not what we mean in our hearts when we are having sex, then our actions aren't honest. (I'd like to repeat here that past mistakes don't define our future).

    The urges are strong though, because we are made for love. Our urges are actually for true love, but the overly-sexualised culture we grow up in makes us think the urges are just about physical pleasure and so it's OK to have sex with anyone. Let us not believe that! Let's remember that we are made for true love, that our urges can help us to gift ourselves to our beloved when it is truly right, after patience and discernment and commitment. Love waits. We need the help of others to wait well. Keep up the good work!
     
    Last edited: Dec 18, 2020
  11. Testify

    Testify Fapstronaut

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    in my case, i used to look for sex when i used to watch porn. now almost gone. media make you think you don't have enough sex.
     
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  12. Nº 9

    Nº 9 Fapstronaut

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    Is to cover up a void.

    As conscious individuals we are apart from the continuity of life, from the whole of life and inmediate existence in Nature. We feel separated from that intimate experience from the moment we leave the womb of our mothers and start experiencing life from an individual perspective, this produce anguish.

    The experience of sex is an intimate experience that tare down the walls of your individuality and you fusion with another person, bringing you back (for a moment) to the whole of inmanence experience.

    ... As we all know for seeing the anime Evangelion, of course...
     
  13. Testify

    Testify Fapstronaut

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    Yeah i think evangelion is right. I thought this thread was about excessive desire for sex... or did i misunderstood?
     
  14. Nº 9

    Nº 9 Fapstronaut

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    Well, given that sex is a way to erase the walls of individuality and rediscover for a moment the experience of intimacy, is no wonder people have an exessive desire for sex.

    Since the question on the post is "why" this happen, I already answered.
     
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  15. Testify

    Testify Fapstronaut

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    When i male makes love with a woman is looking for his feminin missing part, the soul.
    Abd when a woman makes love with a man is looking for her masculine missing part, the spirit.
     
  16. because you are unhappy
     
  17. LordQuas

    LordQuas Fapstronaut

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    Sex doesn't have to meaningful. The act itself is meaningful.
     
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  18. Deysonn

    Deysonn Fapstronaut

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    If a person is spending endless amounts of time just trying to have sex then I don't think this is a good thing. You should really be seeking a person you can share more than a sexual experience with. While sex is important, it is only part of the whole picture. If when the sex is over, an individual can not wait for the other person to leave then they should really reevaluate what they are doing. Sex should really be part of a healthy intimate relationship. Sex is simply better and meaningful with the right person.
     
    NF SINCE BIRTH and Phil 3:12-16 like this.
  19. Lionheart23

    Lionheart23 Fapstronaut

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    I loved every word so much that I will save your comment for my future wife to see
     
    Phil 3:12-16 likes this.
  20. Hi Lionheart,

    I am glad it helped.

    Yes, by your patience and perseverance you are being faithful to your eventual wife, even now. If she has made mistakes in this area too, may you love each other all the more for having both decided to change, to choose true love over counterfeit 'love'. But in any case, may you love each other mercifully, generously, tenderly and wholly :)

    Past mistakes don't define our future. It's strange how we can be so eager to leave our mistakes in the past, yet still fall. That's been me. But as long as we want to keep getting back on track, and keep remembering that love is more than sex, we can.

    All the best!
     
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