I Have a Question

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by happenstance, Nov 26, 2021.

  1. happenstance

    happenstance Fapstronaut

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    I’m just curious. What is the efficacy rate of NoFap? Have you recovered long term? How long to you is long term? I’d like to know. Of course this couldn’t possibly be scientific. It would require everyone’s participation to be posted. But if you’re willing to post yours at least we can get a good idea.
     
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  2. p1n1983

    p1n1983 Fapstronaut

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    Is not encouragin... the success rate is below 10.. 5%. Leaving any addiction behind is really hard and only people willing to put in the work and dicipline can succedd. Unfortunatelly most people wants a quick fix for everything.. a cheat code to have it all easy. There is not cheat code or quick fix for NoFap, it takes a lot of time and effort.. most people cave eventually... so is totally up to the individual. Again, most people are lazy and will fail. If you are like that, then you are probably going to fail, if you don't then you are probably going to get over it eventually.
     
  3. happenstance

    happenstance Fapstronaut

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    You didn't really answer my questions. I think we can all agree that the results suck and I would hardly call it a success rate. More like a failure rate to me. Yes addiction is hard to overcome. Yes people have to be willing to put in the hard work. Yes it takes discipline determination courage etc. And yes everybody wants a quick fix for that which was years in the making. We see it with weight loss all the time. It took ten years to put on 50 lbs and we want to lose it in a week. But what is the efficacy rate of NoFap? If it is no better than anywhere else what makes it any better than anywhere else? I would really like to know.
     
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  4. Lostbrokenman

    Lostbrokenman Fapstronaut

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    I also want to know..... i have PIED and addiction of 14 years my age is 27... will NoFAP give me my lost stamina and strength ? And how many days it will take to be a normal man with sex stamina .... sorry for my english
     
  5. happenstance

    happenstance Fapstronaut

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    Interesting response. This poses another question now. What is your objective with NoFap? Is it to fix your libido or is it to fix your addiction?
     
  6. I believe this is a significant factor in the supposed success/failure rate, actually. While the intended purpose of NoFap is to help people recover from P addiction and compulsive sexual behaviors, I think a certain number of those seeking support here are not driven solely by a desire to overcome their addiction. Many are, instead, simply driven by a desire to remedy the sexual dysfunction that has resulted from P addiction. Even if they're trying to quit P to overcome the dysfunction, their focus is on the dysfunction itself as the "problem," and in that case, they are less likely to do real recovery work. For example, to cure PIED, they probably aren't willing to dig deep to get to the root cause of the addiction and work through those issues for long-term recovery success because they don't look at the addiction as the problem in the first place. So, when they relapse, situations like this are clearly going to skew the overall success rate in terms of addiction recovery.
     
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  7. happenstance

    happenstance Fapstronaut

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    I agree. I am significantly disappointed in the addict responses. I don't want conjecture from addicts. I want answers to the questions that I asked. If I wanted opinions from them I would have asked for their opinion. Are pretty much all addicts going to sidestep the questions and come up with an answer to anything but the questions?

    This is very typical of addicts to respond either to a question with a question or to respond with a deflection answer to the question never really answering the question asked in the first place. JSYK I'm not talking about you hope4healing. It's like this whole entire focus on porn addiction when what we have learned is it's not about pornography at all. It goes much deeper than that. Porn is nothing but the catalyst to it. The motivation and objective is not going to get you where you want to be unless you like quick short term fixes because that's all you're ever going to get. I don't get it.

    Guys your broken dick is not the problem. Your broken brain is.
     
  8. Trobone

    Trobone Fapstronaut

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    It depends on what you consider success... have to define that first
     
  9. Tiredofporn75

    Tiredofporn75 Fapstronaut

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    If completely kicking the habit is success the number will be very low I think. Just look at the relapse rate. Guys clean for a year or more. Does anyone get clean permanently?

    Personally my body works fine. So I am not trying to fix that. I feel like I have turned a corner lately. But we will see.

    I have gone from raging pmo to once a month binge. Still not healthy. But better than before.
     
  10. People come here for a variety of reasons. Obviously, some want to recover from P addiction. There are some who come here with the original intention of fixing the sexual dysfunction they're experiencing, but after reading through the various journals and user stories, they begin to see the scope of the damage P addiction causes beyond sexual dysfunction, and eventually, their perspective and end-goal changes. Others may come here due to relationship problems caused by P use or because of legal issues or many other reasons thus making their goals/motivations different. Therefore, I think it's hard to determine a single rate of success/failure that accurately reflects users experiences and/or NoFap efficacy.

    Regardless, I don't think anyone can argue that the rate of "fully recovered" is very high no matter what that means to each person. There are many reasons contributing to this, I believe, but hopefully those numbers will go up as more information gets out there about this addiction. Pretending it doesn't exist and the "hush hush" mentality only let it thrive.
     
    Last edited: Nov 30, 2021
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  11. happenstance

    happenstance Fapstronaut

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    Fair enough Trobone. We define success as no more porn. We define success as no more jerking off. We define success as no more lying cheating gaslighting and abusing us. We are your wives. Not your punching bag or door mat. Fixing your dick is just anatomy. Fixing your brain is forever life changing. You’re never going to fix your brain with a 30 day reboot. I’m not even convinced it does in 90. When all these boys figure that out maybe they can truly start recovery. Incidentally, when we talk about our body let’s not forget that our brain is included in that. What we do to our body also has a profound impact on our brain too.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 30, 2021
  12. happenstance

    happenstance Fapstronaut

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    First of all I don’t really care that you feel I’m spoiling for a fight. I feel that people like you can’t answer the hard questions because they make you very uncomfortable. So your solution is to go on the offensive and attack me for it. That’s fine. Bring it. I don’t care if you think that I am angry. I’m not the least bit angry. Why the hell cant you boys just answer the questions asked of you without trying to mansplain it to us? Give me a damn break. I found help for myself and my husband found help for himself. We don’t need your help. You can wallow in your addiction all you want to. I’m not even talking to you. I’m talking to people who actually want to recover.
     
    Last edited: Nov 30, 2021
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  13. Trobone

    Trobone Fapstronaut

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    If your success is defines as never masturbating again and never acting in a way that makes your wife/partner feel those emotions - then the success rate is going to be extremely low.

    If your version of success is defined by consistently working toward being better and focusing on progress and not perfection, then the success rate is much higher.

    I agree that 30 or 90 days without porn doesn't "fix" anything. I've said so on here many times. It's a great hook and gimmick and makes it seem like an easy thing to begin. There's also a difference between the guys with an addiction and ones who are coming here panicing about ED at age 23 and the ones who just want to slow down/adjust habits. Not all the men here are the same either. Some guys here define success at no longer looking at gay porn (which is a whole nother conversion). Other define it like you, expecting a radical change that can't possibly happen in 90 days.

    I'm 18 months into this. Removing porn was a great first step - i'm really proud of myself for that. But it also meant removing my mental coping mechanism for anxiety/anger/sadness/stress. Now I'm working on those things. My marriage is in a much better place than it has ever been, but complacency is my enemy and there is aways something new to work on.
     
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  14. happenstance

    happenstance Fapstronaut

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    Would you stop with all of this progress not perfection stuff? I don't think any of us are expecting perfection. We're expecting a minimum level of expectation for us to feel safe. Most everyone has a zero tolerance policy for what they will and will not find acceptable in their lives. For example I have a zero tolerance policy for use of illegal drugs. Is that because I expect perfection or is that because I expect to feel safe? I don't feel safe with illegal drugs in my presence and therefore there is no place for it in my life...ever. I think it is safe to say for most of us women here we have a zero tolerance for our husbands to engage in PMO. Sorry but if you don't like it you're always free to sever the relationship and move on to somebody that will accept it. Perfection is not an expectation nor is it even part of the equation.

    Last just because you think what you are doing is successful by your own measure that's fine for you. Not for me. I learned in the serenity prayer that I accept the things I cannot change. That is you. I change the things that I can. That is me. But I certainly have learned to know the difference. I accept whatever your belief is whether that PMO is harmless occasional PMO is not a big deal and all of that. But reciprocally you must accept that you too can only change the things that you can which means you can't change your SO. That's not gonna happen. They only change if/when they want to change. Good luck finding one who will permanently accept repeated failures indefinitely in their life. Failure is a normal part of learning. Failure for the same reasons over and over again pretty much defines insanity. Eventually they will tire of it and sever the relationship. Then it is conversation over. You've reached the end of your rope.

    Bottom line? You have a choice. You always have a choice. It's just now that we're on to you your choices are limited by our propensity to uphold our boundaries of what we are and aren't willing to live with. We have learned to stop enabling the behavior that is so toxic to us. If you are comfortable and your SO too with relapses then more power to you. I'm not and guess what that has brought into our lives. Progress!
     
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  15. happenstance

    happenstance Fapstronaut

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    BTW a hook and gimmick pretty much sounds like a fraud to me. Is that what this is?
     
  16. Trobone

    Trobone Fapstronaut

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    I would not call it a fraud. I would call it marketing. However I would say anything who thinks they're going to be "cured" in 30-90 days is fooling themselves.


    Not quite sure which part of my post you're arguing against. My wife didn't expect me to become the picture perfect person she wishes I was after 30, 60 or 90 days. That's what I mean by progress over perfection. She didn't think I was going to solve anxiety and parental issues in 10 therapy sessions, but she does expect me to work on them and consistenly try to be better.

    Of course everyone has the agency to feel safe in their relationship, set boundaries and enforce them. I don't think anyone is saying otherwise.

    As for your assumptions about my marriage: My wife is not OK with relapses. And she's not ok with pornography being in my home. No one is going to be OK with repeated failures and indefinitely. She understands this is not a 90 day thing or a 12 month thing. She supports me going to therapy and SAA and such and I support her doing what she needs as well. Do we still argue sometimes, yes, just like all married couples. Is that the same as me going back to using reddit to avoid reality - hell no.
     
  17. happenstance

    happenstance Fapstronaut

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    A fraud by any other name is still a fraud. Ok. Marketing then. That make you happy? Still don’t see how it isn’t a fraud but OK. If it were really on the up and up it would just be the truth in black and white. No hooks. No gimmicks. Just the truth. Just for the record I didn't say it was a hook and gimmick. You did.

    I didn’t make any assumptions about your marriage. I'm utilizing “you” as anyone of you who follows this mindset. Not you personally. Don’t even go there. At this point I’m not even sure what your argument is anymore.

    I still want to see some of you boys come forth and actually answer the questions I asked of you in the first place instead of all of this crap though.
     
    Last edited: Nov 30, 2021
  18. Sam-wise

    Sam-wise Fapstronaut

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    Efficacy rate of NoFap: I would say that the tools promoted on this site are 1) Journaling 2) Various NoPMO challenges 3) Accountability Partners/Accountability groups. In my opinion if someone only uses these tools their success rate for recovery is likely close to zero. People who succeed take action/additional action outside of this site. I have not recovered long term. I would define long term as a year plus of continuous "real" recovery.
     
    Last edited: Dec 1, 2021
  19. I like your question, because it helps to keep perspective: 3 months and even 3 years is not a long time for a healthy person. If we focus too much on counting days, there is a risk to loose this perspective. It is not a high counter that matters, but to reach a healthy state of mind.

    Some thoughts:
    Success depends on the goal you set for yourself.
    Different people here have different goals.

    From (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/experimentations/201802/when-is-porn-use-problem):
    "98% of the male population has watched some porn content within the last 6 months"
    Many people on nofap are indeed more ambitious than 6 months, and a good number belongs to that other 2% of the male population at this very moment.
    Success can only be claimed when you still belong to that group in the moment you pass away, so this is a statistic that is hard to count from active members. But as someone wrote above: As long as people make an honest effort, who cares the numbers? some will make it, others not.
     
    Last edited: Dec 1, 2021
  20. happenstance

    happenstance Fapstronaut

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    I pretty much said from the onset it wasn’t scientific. I was only seeking a general idea. I care about the numbers. If this program is 5% effective and another is 10%, I’m going for that 10%. Of course vice verse is true too. I think it’s safe to say that all of us want the most efficient and effective recovery means possible.
     

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