I have a strange problem..

Sodawatt

Sodawatt

Fapstronaut
So I (20M) have been an addict to weird fetish porn since I started masturbating, and I recently managed to go 3 weeks without looking at any porn. However, I found myself replacing the porn by looking at my muscles in the mirror. I know it sounds extremely narcissistic and/or gay, (which I might be, still questioning) but I don't want to do this at all! I never feel good about it afterwards, and not looking at the mirror is a lot more difficult than not looking at porn. Why am I like this, and how do I change? I'm thinking of just stopping going to the gym to purposely lose the muscle tone, but that just turns this into a lose-lose situation.
 
Intersting. So are you just obsessed with looking at yourself or does it turn you on and make u sexualy excited?
Me for example, i dont look at myself in the mirror more than normal i dont think, if i do, maybe slightly more. But if i look at myself nude in a full sized mirror it turns me on, like i get aroused seeing my nude body. Idk if thats normal or not. And idk if its healthy either... its not like im looking at someone else or porn. So yea i can relate to some of your frustration
 
Sodawatt said:
So I (20M) have been an addict to weird fetish porn since I started masturbating, and I recently managed to go 3 weeks without looking at any porn. However, I found myself replacing the porn by looking at my muscles in the mirror. I know it sounds extremely narcissistic and/or gay, (which I might be, still questioning) but I don't want to do this at all! I never feel good about it afterwards, and not looking at the mirror is a lot more difficult than not looking at porn. Why am I like this, and how do I change? I'm thinking of just stopping going to the gym to purposely lose the muscle tone, but that just turns this into a lose-lose situation.
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Simple, remove the mirrors. I actually love looking at my muscles in the mirror, especially with good lighting, thankfully it doesn't turn me on.
 
Hi, Sodawatt.
I used to be into bodybuilding, a long time ago.
I enjoyed looking at myself in the mirror, seeing how my musculature was coming along, flexing, posing, all that stuff. I was never sexually aroused by looking at my body but I did develop an attraction to muscular women. I'd masturbate to pictures of female bodybuilders in the muscle mags. I even had a notebook full of pictures I'd cut out of the mags.
I stopped lifting weights about twenty years ago, and my sexual attraction to muscular women has faded over time.
I have watched myself masturbate in the mirror a number of times. I enjoyed seeing my junk erect and ejaculating. It does seem a bit odd behavior now that I think about it, but whatever.
I don't know what to tell you about this particular fetish other than, if indulging in it causes you distress afterward, then it's probably time to stop.
It's a bit unrealistic to rid yourself of all the mirrors in your home. I find that when I'm in a situation where I might be susceptible to objectify females it's helpful to keep my mind focused on my purpose for being in a particular place.
If you take a moment before you use a mirror to remind yourself of why you're using it, such as shaving, dressing, working out...that may help you to not indulge in your fetish and get on with your day without feeling bad about yourself.
 
I’m reading a book right now about sex and addiction and it mentions that rituals are a huge part of sex addiction and codependency.

That’s all I’ve got. I don’t have any experience with this exact thing that you’re going through.

I wish you the best of luck and healing. You’ll find your way.
 
LOL WUT said:
Intersting. So are you just obsessed with looking at yourself or does it turn you on and make u sexualy excited?
Click to expand...
It's definitely more the ladder. If it were up to the dopamine monster inside of me, I would much rather be looking at porn than myself in the mirror, but just trying to quit made me resort to the second 'best' option.
 
Sodawatt said:
It's definitely more the ladder. If it were up to the dopamine monster inside of me, I would much rather be looking at porn than myself in the mirror, but just trying to quit made me resort to the second 'best' option.
Click to expand...

I understand and ive definitely been there. Everything from seeing myself nude, to wearing underwear thats too sexy, to even shaving my pubic region can all get me turned on sexually so i have to be careful to not let it get away from me. Even before i quit porn, these things were an issue, i just didnt try to avoid it. The things i mentioned above, in the past, have led me to MO on plenty of occasions. Its crazy how many triggers are out there.
 
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