I have an urgent question

Well, you can't put your foot in the same stream twice.
You will, of course, have the memory of going through this whole experience. But it is in the nature of difficulties overcome to leave you as a stronger person afterwards. You cannot be 'the same', but you will be better.

 

I am sorry to say....It will be something we have to keep our guard up for the rest of our lives. We will have periods where it is easier than others. If you want more practical knowledge, check out the journals of the 40+ members. There are some wise men there in which you can learn a ton. Complacency and arrogance are the two main enemies of relapse. Lifelong battle. Stay strong! Win!

 

Why do you think you ruined your reproductive system? If you are talking about PIED, that will heal rather quickly. I don't think there are many other side effects to PMO besides PIED, so you should be fine.
Good luck.

 

I'm confused with what you mean here, it's like you're implying we won't get better, obviously i'm not expecting to forget what i've been doing, but what about ED and other symptoms i have? I know my hair started to grow again when i've greatly reduced PMO for 90 days (from 6-11 times a day to 2 max) and even stopped in the past (one week only), but ED didn't go away, maybe one week isn't enough lol

Anyway yeah it sounds like you're saying the health issues caused by PMO won't go away, so i have to live with them forever? Or are you talking about the symptoms of when we're not doing PMO?

Thanks.

 

Not to put words in his mouth and he can feel free to elaborate or disagree, but I believe @taqwa is referring to the emotional and physical battle against urges, not the actual physical repercussions of PMO use. If you have any kind of PIED problems, that stuff will definitely go away eventually and will stay "healed" as long as you don't return to PMO. But I think what Taqwa's saying here is that because of the addiction we've gotten ourselves into NOW, things like watching an R-rated movie with a nude scene are never going to be the same for us as it is for others. Most people can watch those things and not feel a compulsive need to PMO, but we (for the most part) cannot. That part of the addiction is never going to change. As he said, it will get easier at times and harder at times, but dealing with "triggers" is always going to be a part of our lives, no matter how long our streaks are.

But yeah, the physical damage should go away completely (at least the things that you've listed here. some people may have done some permanent physical damage to their bodies because of PMO use, but most likely those things will be healed as long as you stay clean).

 

Thank you, well i can tell you what makes me PMO is not having anyone, i never had, once i went back to the Gym and looked pretty good, i liked the nutritionist but she refused my invite for a coffee (i don't even drink coffee lol) however the week i've decided to invite her i completely stopped PMO, and it wasn't hard for me, i thought i finally wouldn't need to use that as a refuge for my loneliness anymore, and was my first time not doing PMO, i didn't even know about NoFap or PMO addiction stuff back then, i just didn't felt like i needed it anymore, but she refused and i went back to the same. :/

I don't see women as sex objects, i don't even want a gf for sex, i want her to talk, hug, kiss, go out, and being able to enjoy places i've been to before but didn't enjoy because i've always been sad due to loneliness.

 

I know what you mean, here. I feel the same way. Sex is rarely the "reason" for PMO, for me. I think in some ways that can make it harder to overcome, because the issues you need to "fix" are deeper than just a desire for sex. I mean, I'm married for goodness sake, I can have sex (for the most part) whenever I want, but that doesn't fix my problem. For you, loneliness is the key. For me it's anxiety/stress/depression.

But take heart, you're not alone! You're in the right place. I hope you find success and joy in your journey.

 

Also, try to seek other refuges for loneliness that aren't dependent on girls, because rejection can lead to a lot of depression and feeling hopeless. But you're not hopeless! As much as it may not seem this way, you really don't ever need a woman in order to feel fulfilled and happy in life, and even in a marriage, that's a lot of pressure to put on a partner to be your sole reason for being healthy. Humans will always disappoint and never live up to your expectations -- even the beautiful women type of humans. So maybe try to find some other ways to combat the loneliness and discover some joy and happiness with just being on your own for a while. (I know, I know, easier said than done, but I say this out of love and experience.)

Edit: I am not, and will never be, "enough" for my husband, and I don't expect to be. We both have to have our own reasons for living, for being healthy and happy, etc.

 

I could not have said it better @TakingTheSteps ... Yes, the physical damage will resolve like she said!

 

Awesome stuff @TakingTheSteps ! Totally agree. Happiness and fulfillment originate from within! To depend on a person/place/thing for happiness is an illusion only separated by time. For example, with marriage comes Both happiness during the honeymoon and sadness from fighting/argumentation/possible divorce. The only thing that separated the two is time. In my opinion, happiness is best achieved when you are in pursuit of your purpose in life, growing in self development, and in contributing to humanity.

 

No, I don't think you have ruined your reproductive system. It is incredibly resilient! The less you have PMOed the better. The addictive brain circuity is not as established in you vs someone who has done it for years! Stay strong! Win!

 

The health issues usually resolve quicker than the mind addiction component. I expect full recovery of your physical symptoms if you quit PMOing. I wish you much success brother. May you find happiness from within and from a beautiful partner (A beautiful woman to share life with is a pretty awesome blessing)!

 

Sorry but i have to disagree with this, people like to generalize things and compare their lives to other people lives and that's what you're doing here, it doesn't work like that for a very simple reason: circumstances.

Then there's the part of each one mentality and goals, some people are about sentiments (like me), some care about money, others about food, etc

Obviously i have other goals, but my life goal is being desired by women, i know this might sound like a lot however when i went to the gym for the first time it happened, i was not only fat but very swollen i looked like i had 20 years more than i had, i've been to the other side, and i can guarantee you that i've never been wrong about what makes me feel alive.

I'd like to be a Photographer, a Tourism Guide, maybe a Psychologist, do research on Cancer, work for NASA, there's a ton of things i'd like to do but i can't because i went back to the same, no matter how good i looked like i took the nutritionist refusal as a rejection, which is what happened my whole life and when i have that feeling it's like a cold sweat inside of me and then i stop doing everything, i can't move on without my "fuel", people have no idea for how long i've been on this, i liked girls since i was 6, it's been 22 years on this, PMO has been my refuge, i've stopped it when i get "close" to girls i like, i told you i don't feel like i need it anymore, i can assure you that my brain is so fkd up that most of the time i don't even have desire to PMO but it insists and causes me anxiety and i need to do it to stop the anxiety, i've been exhausted for years due to this, i don't get out of home, now i look pretty bad again due to 30Kg gain, i rarely take a bath, i've stopped eating, i only eat sugars and stuff with tons of salt and i feel worse than ever before, i don't shave my beard at all anymore, sometimes i take a bath and dress clothes i had before taking the bath, i'm all day in front of the PC, i never take breakfast, there's a lot of wrong things i've done and i can't seem to get motivated to go back to good looks and lose weight etc even after being told i was looked at by being desired and not because.

I'm dead inside, my life goal doesn't exist anymore, it will always be the same, without it i don't exist.

No offense but please stop taking your life "problems" into other people minds as if it will happen to them too, it's like things don't get better and it pretty much confirms there's no point in living anymore if it's to be like that, that hurts.

 

You are most welcome brother! Stay strong! Win!

 

My heart goes out to you brother! We are here trying to support to the best of our ability. We take no offense... We want you to be your best version of yourself...

We tend to focus on what we don't have instead of what we do have. When I gratitude journal it is most helpful. We also tend to forget that sooo much ease follows "little" difficulty. A major life principle that keeps me going is that I will never be tested more than what I can handle. The Divine challenges us to make us examine our lives. Socrates said, "The unexamined life is not worth living." For me when everything is going good, I get sloppy and lazy. How often we love things that are bad for us and how often we hate things that are good for us. I believe in you! Hang in there...One moment at a time...The present is all we have. Lets not be tormented by the past that we can do nothing about or the future that is unknown. Stay strong brother! Win.

Small advice: The people on this forum are here on your side...I would avoid any criticism for that may turn someone off and cause them to withdraw their help or support. We all need each other to lean on.

 

I am sorry if you were offended by my comment. I'm glad to hear about your other life goals -- those are all great and healthy things.

I'm not trying to take your situation and apply it strictly to my own. I very much believe that, for any person (not just me or you), it is unhealthy to find your self worth in the opinions of others, which is what it sounds like your pattern has been. I'm sorry if this is harsh to hear, and forgive me if I'm wrong. I'm not trying to make assumptions here, just trying to help. I feel like what you just described is that since women haven't accepted you, you no longer have any desire to live life to the fullest, and I don't think that's a healthy mindset to have. You yourself have acknowledged that the way you're living right now isn't healthy and that you want to change. I'm simply trying to show you that I think finding your worth and value outside of female attention would help you and would change your situation, if you're willing to listen and accept my advice.

Please know I'm saying all this in love and with respect. I'm not trying to hurt your feelings. I wish you the best, and if my advice isn't what you need, then that's okay. Maybe it won't be helpful for you, but it would be nice if you would appreciate the thought and that I'm trying to help.