I have exhibitionistic tendency and I almost ruined my life

Discussion in 'Compulsive Sexual Behavior' started by Shadow233, Oct 22, 2022.

  1. Shadow233

    Shadow233 Fapstronaut

    The story I am about to tell you is my personal story.

    From my puberty I develop a very disticnt kink for exhibitionism.
    I used to like other women and girls watching me naked. During my childhood I was very shy and used to get bulied a lot.

    But in my teenage I became quite confident and rowdy.

    When I discover porn I was 16 and since then I started watching porn almost regularly.

    1. During my teenage I used to walk naked in my house when no one was there. Some time I used to keep my window open and take off my cloths so my neighbor aunty can watch me naked, She did watch me naked and used to smile and I used to get aroused.

    2. I used to get naked in my room and just opposite of my window there was a cute girl. I purposefully used to get naked so that she can saw me.

    3.After I reached 20, this exhibitionistic tendency started got out of my hand. Around this time I was in relationship and my gf didn't like my exhibitionistic tendency. I used send her dick pics whenever I used to get horny. She absolutely didn't like those thing. We eventully broke up.

    4. After that I got more desparet and started to send my nude using Whatsapp and Instagram to random girls and also some of my female friends. Some of them were absolutely shock why I am doing this. I lost so many good friends because of this fetis.

    5. I also went to omegal and used to get naked infront of strangers most girls just to get that arousal.

    All of this happend but I never told anyone. But now I want to change and I will. There is this girl that I like and she has very good charecter. I almost send her my nudes again to get arousal but then I stop. She didn't know that I have this problem.

    I will change.
    Last edited: Oct 24, 2022
  2. Shadow233

    Shadow233 Fapstronaut

    I am sorry guys I ruined it. I asked her if I can send her my nudes and as expected she was shcoked and told me she is very disappionted. She never thought that I will be one of those creepy online guys. I ruined it
  3. s_rv29

    s_rv29 Fapstronaut

    what else did you expect?
  4. s_rv29

    s_rv29 Fapstronaut

    as you can see the problem is that you are doing this to get aroused, not thinking about the person on the other side, how they will feel etc. Typical addicted mindset
    DrHenryJekyll likes this.
  5. Shadow233

    Shadow233 Fapstronaut

    I am aware of my mistake... I can't change what I have done...but I will try to change the future.
    WilliamTheChristian likes this.
  6. Shadow233

    Shadow233 Fapstronaut

    I know I am addict... U can't imagine how hard for me to live with this guilt.. I lost my friends and my gf...

    No matter how much I cry but there is nothing I can change now..

    I have no option but to move forward...
  7. Firstly, I feel that this tendency isn't totally your fault. As a young boy, people and family should have warned you that exhibitionism isn't quite wise (or legal in some areas.)

    Without clothes, I believe your chance of infection can increase. I believe you are also more susceptible to cuts and injuries that clothes could mitigate. You may also be more susceptible to colds or dangerous environmental temperature changes.

    There are people who do explore nudity. It's honestly a whole community or society maybe. But again, I personally wouldn't look into it. Nudity isn't too wise when considering personal hygiene, sanitary environments, and pathogens. I also would never want to live in a household where I'd have to look at my sister or mother while they were naked. It's just not something I'd want to do, even if my family allowed or encouraged it. I've read of men who regret having an exhibitinist mother or sister.

    Again, I wish your aunty would've warned you against exhibitionism. She seemed to have enabled or encouraged it with smiles instead of educating you about issues with nudity and exhibitionism.

    Where I live, exhibitionism is usually a crime. Being naked in a bedroom and having my windows in such a way where people can see my nudity is a crime. Of course I could argue that "I didn't know people could see me." But after that first strike, the police can arrest me if it happens again because at that point I am knowingly exposing myself.

    Some people have gotten away with exhibitionism. I've read of some women who would flash or expose themselves to their own sons and their son's friends. But the sons grew to dislike their mothers or their mothers' exhibitionism. They were bothered by their exhibitionist mothers.

    I personally wouldn't do it, even if I could get away with it. Even if I wasn't worried about the potential increased chance of infection or body temperature issues when being naked, people can abuse my nudity. People can take photos of my nudity and share it to my friends, family, or clients that I've done business with. Recipients can react by alienating me or cutting me out. And this distribution of my photographed nudity can happen WITHOUT my consent, intent, or knowledge. Heck, I don't even need to be doing anything sexual in the photo. The nudes could ruin my life.

    My exhibitionism could also be abused by women. A woman can visit me while I'm naked, pretend that everything is normal or not offensive to her, take photos, and then go to the police to falsely charge me of a crime, maybe even a sexual crime. The photos could be used as evidence against me. She could probably even sue me for money. And this scenario is likely not uncommon. I have flirted and sexted with women in the past where they pretend to not be bothered by my flirting but then suddenly become offended by or discomforted by my communication. People can be unpredictable, malicious, or predatory.
  8. Shadow233

    Shadow233 Fapstronaut

    I wish someone would have guided me when I was young... Then I might have different story..

    Well I must change now...

    Plzz help along the way
  9. BigBob73

    BigBob73 Fapstronaut

    I had a little problem with this. I would send them to girls and pretend that it was for someone else. Most accepted my apology however a few told me they liked it. I haven't done this for a while though. All I can say is that real connections are more gratifying. However once you have a girlfriend and build trust, you can spend pictures and it's fun without the risk. Just always make sure she's in the mood first or you will turn her off.
    Shadow233 likes this.
  10. Shadow233

    Shadow233 Fapstronaut

    I give an apology to her for what u said. she was obviously very angry on me. She said whe will never forgive me for what I did.

    I feel genuinely bad for what I did.

    I will use this as a fule to overcome my addiction.

    And I will take my life more seriously....

    I. Can't change what I did but I still have my future...
    stepitup likes this.