I have fear of this feeling. Anyone has experienced something similar?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by clapas, Jan 3, 2020.

  1. clapas

    clapas Fapstronaut

    It is like a thought, but not a specific one. It makes me jump, but it is not something "physical." It is not conscious, because it has awaked me from sleep. It sometimes appears when I am awake but fine and relaxed. It is anxiety provoking.

    I remember having this feeling when I had high fever as a kid. In my dreams, lines, circles and other basic shapes made some endless monotonous movement, or turned from order into chaos. And I wanted to stop it but I could not.

    I was never concerned about this because I thought it was something temporary associated with a cold, flu or other common minor illness.

    Around two years ago, and during the period that led me to the discovery of my addiction to PMO, I started experiencing this feelings randomly in my wake life.

    So I think it is like the seed of a panic attack. I had panic attacks last year and early this year but they seemed to be fixed after a couple of months into my reboot. Now I have a bad cold for nearly a week and yesterday and the day before I had this feelings again. I hope they will go away when the cold is over, but the fear is paralysing.

    Can anyone relate to this?
  2. blademaster87

    blademaster87 Fapstronaut

    Anxiety and panic disorder came to my mind. Have you ever heard of seasonal affective disorder? Apparently the weather can set underlying mental conditions in some people. I definitely understand the fear since I've dealt with anxiety for almost all my life. Lately I've just been trying to surrender my emotions to God and dealing with whatever comes, but it's not easy, the feeling of dread is hard to battle.
    clapas likes this.

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