I have given up on life.

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Deleted Account, Jul 9, 2020.

  1. g dog i tried read as much as i can, im concerned about you wanting to die, you desrve to happy with a nice trans girl, tehers plenty in thailand but i know ur paus is shit but save your money and u can do teaching in thailand for english, yty improve you own english were you can to, you will need to work ridiciolous shifts but dont waaste ur money on hoes or porn or anything, get the fuck out your country you deserve happiness!
     
  2. Being a good person and hard work gets you nothing in this life. I just feel so angry today.
    I just spent 20 minutes sitting in the bathroom and repeating to myself to kill myself.
    Maybe one day i actuale get the balls and do it.
    I hobestly dont want to live like this for the next 30 years. Always angry and sad
     
  3. Honestly i think the same, Anti depresant sucks, they tried also to give them to me, refuse them, because you will became addicted to them. Anyway don't seek professional help because it does not work, i didn't do it, i've been able to heal myself with the method i linked.
    and i will never look back.
     
  4. Henr2020

    Henr2020 Fapstronaut

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    maybe you should stay quiet. this man needs help. dont fill his head with your mumbo jumbo. let him have his medication. it will save his life.
     
  5. mumbo jumbo my entire family take it for go sleep and after wake up so I know exactly how anti depresant work a medic that prescribe it to a patient had a % on the money gained here and thst sick lazy bastard of my medic litterally feed my famiöly with all that shit i don't even know how many pharmacs they take in one day.
    Personally my desire was to die long time a go and tzey tried to feed me with their shit, thanks God i feed my soul instead my body.
     
  6. Just had a mental breakdown at work.
    Really thinking of going see my doctor to give me some bills.
    Im against that shit but i just want to stop feeling so angry and sad all the time.
     
  7. rihrmr

    rihrmr New Fapstronaut

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    Hey Marko, (where’s polo?)

    i think u are a wise guy. You understand not only yourself but others around u really well. And i think ure also struggling with that too - world around u seems really unfair from what u wrote, and in an ideal world nothing like this should ever need to happen. But obvs this is reality, and nothing can ever change that. That spoiled daughter at work probably will always stay that way, and that’s her own life to live. Family might always stay narrow-minded, but there will be people in ur life that u know / will know that love you still for whatever sexual orientation u are.

    I guess what im trying to say is that ure not in the wrong. U never were and won’t be. Because u understand urself best. And u need to back urself on that. U’re really a wise dude and seems like ure a capable guy at work. There are 7 billion ppl in the world, and I’m sure there are enough transexual ppl with a dick out there that would love a guy like u. Be kind to urself. Don’t try to ignore all the negative shit in life, because u can’t ignore reality. I guess u need to acknowledge it and try to take care of yourself, and be kind to urself. U only get to experience life once, and that’s through your own body and mind. So be accepting of thoughts and anger and sadness that u think and feel - because they are all a part of u. So be kind to urself.

    if u feel like ranting it out on this forum, please do continue doing so. It’s probably one of the healthiest things u can do, instead of locking it up inside. And ppl do listen, just takes a bit of time.
     
    mike15 and Henr2020 like this.
  8. So was thinking of going see my doctor to talk about taking some antidepressions but since it is corona she wont see me unless it is life or death.
    I called a dominatrix that i visoted 2 times to meet up tonight atleast to have some fun but she said she does not do golden showers anymore.
    I have not been with a women sinve my ex and that was in decwmber 2019.
    Cant catch a break evwn in the bad things in life
    Oh and all the transwoman escorts they dont come to my city because the cops track them down take their money and then ban them grom entering the country for 2 to 5 years. They dont do that in zagreb or zadar or rijeka only in split.
    Even alittel bit of luck i cant get
     
  9. I just ask for alittel break. That i finaly get what i want at the end. I keep workimg and going and never get the end result.
    I have felt moments of happiness but they go away as fast as they come.
    Been always telling myself that real men keep going never give up bottel it all inside and keep moving.
    Looking back what has honestly gotten me.
    A job title as a boss and that is it( not a pay increse).
    I newd to let things go i need to learn how to quit and stop beating a dead horse.
     
  10. mike15

    mike15 Fapstronaut

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    I think part of your problem might be your self defeating and a victim mindset. I have fallen into that kind of thinking so many times and it only leads to depression and wanting to end your life. i know your family doesnt fully accept you and you feel trapped but maybe if you change your mindset about these situations it will help. I know my family didnt fully accept me for years because I was gay. I was in a more accepting culture so I wasnt kicked out but I had to hide who I was for so long. Because people didnt accept me though I gained a broader perspective and because of that I am more open and accepting of others and was able to gain insight into a lot of things that my straight family members werent able to. A lot of times we want to victimize ourselves so that we dont have to change. At one point I wanted to die and went into a mental hospital for two weeks becuase of it. Being on NoFap this time around has taught me that it is important to see struggle and hardship as a learning opportunity and as a time to grow and change. It may seem like the hardship will never end but it always passes. This lifestyle creates an environment for change and growth so you have the energy to put in the hard work to get out of a job or go back to school or move. I have also done similar things to you where i feel guilty about the good in my life and sabotage my way out. But someone said to me that i should enjoy the good times while I can because they will pass just like the bad times, but you dont have to think about when it will be over. Just enjoy the moment. Focusing on the present moment and your body without thinking can be very helpful. Sometimes I might be feeling like its the end of the world but when i think about how my body feels and turn off my thoughts for a second and focus on my immediate surroundings, i realize this moment is not even close to as bad as i thought. Im just here in my room and its quiet. Meditation walks have been really good. You can just focus on your surroundings and your feet touching the ground without thinking or judging. It can be tough at first but once you get used to it, its very helpful to be able to switch mindsets in the dark times. This with a combined new mindset to be grateful for the challenges that come my way and the hardships in my life and seeing every day and experience as an opportunity for learning and growth have really helped me and my depression. Also getting offline and social media, nofap, and phone help accelerate this. Hope this helps! Good luck with whatever you decide to do!
     
  11. I have for a very long time tried to think positive to never look at myself as the victim and what has it got me nothing.
    I get where you are coming from a few months ago i was saying the same thing to myeelf but i wont lie part of me is also looking as myself as the victim because i want someone to actuale care about me.
     
  12. mike15

    mike15 Fapstronaut

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    I know its hard when you feel like nothing changes but part of the journey or thinking in this way is so you can change what isnt making you happy. You may have been in the mindset, but it seems like everything in your life stayed the same. Your job, family ect. are all the same as they used to be. This isnt a bad thing but sometimes it takes a lot of time and work. Its been really hard confronting things about myself and habits that werent making me happy. It still is sometimes, but slowly gets better and better. I think if you found something you were passionate about it would really help and started trying to figure out what makes you happy, it would really help because then you could have something to work towards and strive for. I know it sucks where your at! im not invalidating your experiences and definitely know how hard it can be and it sucks! i can definitely relate to how it feels. Just try and take it little by little. Having a therapist to talk to wouldnt be a bad thing either. Sometimes just having someone to vent to can be very cathartic and helpful and you dont have to take the medication they want you to take. It may even take a few therapists to find the right one. Also, i do think masterbating every night probably isnt the best thing. I know that makes my depression worse for sure. Anyway look at all these responses. You can at least say you have some people care on here.
     
  13. No offence to everyone who has answered this thread but i dont care. Same thing i hear from others you have a family and bla bla bla.
    My family cant give ne what i want cant give me the love i want. So people respond to my thread and act like they care does it make me feel any better.
    Yeah i now im being cynicalbut my depresion was never this bad.
    I wish i never met my ex. I wish i never felt real love . I wish i never worked hard i wish i never cared for others and that i never helped anyone.
    You know what really fuck everything and every one. Maybe im being a drama queen right now but i dont fucking. This shit aint right why the fuck fo i have to go threw this shit dont i deserve a break
     
    Chris_Cactusblossom likes this.
  14. mike15

    mike15 Fapstronaut

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    Probably why its best to see a therapist. Were not trained professionals when dealing with depression. You probably do deserve a break though, life sucks sometimes but it doesnt last forever. Just keep trying to tell yourself that and maybe see a mental health professional.
     
    Henr2020 likes this.
  15. x'D
     
  16. You've got to do what you want in life, Marko. You've got a work ethic and qualifications, so you'll never be stuck for money. If you hate your family, fuck 'em. Leaving them behind will either be very freeing, or in the end you'll realise they love you and you love them, but you'll only find out if you follow your own heart.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  17. HelplessPleaseHelp?

    HelplessPleaseHelp? Fapstronaut

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    Hi man, I think you should live day by day and try to make the most out of your days. I believe that if you let yourself free and stop worrying about to many people around you in your life, you will be able to live better. You will be able to focus on how to make your own life better.
     
  18. Jack St.

    Jack St. Fapstronaut

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    I hope you can truly be happy one day! I hope you know how much Jesus loves you. For me that’s the only thing worth living for. If I don’t want my life then I can give it to a God who does want my life. You should watch Todd Whites testimony I think it would really help you out man. I wish you the best in life and hope you are doing well even as you read this.
     

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