I have had Enough...

Hi, I am new on NoFap. But not a newbie on the porn sufferer's list. I have been struggling with PMO addiction for almost 6 years. During my strong addiction days I didn't believe porn could be addictive. I was also addicted to playing video games at 15. I am currently 19 years old. Even in this short period, PMO has pretty much destroyed my life, it has ruined my every academic achievement. I was a top grader in my class. Now I am a complete fucked up, retarded looser. I began having suicidal thoughts a few months ago. I had lost almost all hope for life. I hated my life. I hated myself for what I have done to myself. I was devoid of any self-esteem or self-worth. Life was meaningless.

I have many physical symptoms as well. I have chronic non-bacterial prostatitis (which is probably caused by edging for hours, even days sometimes. It was diagnosed by a urologist. But if I had told him that PMO caused this, he would never believe me), PIED, premature ejaculation, low libido, hyperhidrosis, irritability, extreme social anxiety (couldn't go out of my house), panic attacks and depression. I even went to a psychiatrist and he diagnosed me with major depressive disorder.
I don't find normal girls attractive any more. I have 0 friend. Actually I had many friends before, but they soon began to disappear. btw I come from a muslim majority south-asian country where premarital sex is not the norm, unlike america or other western nations. But that doesn't mean I am immune to porn addiction. Porn is a global epidemic and no adolscent, no child or married couple or any indivisual of any race, religion or nation is safe any more.

I discovered YBOP and NoFap a year ago. But as you all probably know that at first most people can't believe that they are addicted to porn. The same thing happened with me. Eventually I began to educate myself, reading stuff related to porn or any kind of addiction in general. I began to read research papers and other people's stories and found striking similarities to my own problem and symptoms. Then I finally realized what the root cause of the problem was. It was PORN. And I was addicted to it. Soon I took the NoFap thing seriously and made an account here. I believe I did the right thing and quitting porn will greatly improve my condition.

As this is my first entry and the beginning of my NoFap life, I will keep it short. But I hope I will find many like minded people in this community.

[Note: English is not my mother tongue and I consider myself an athiest.]