Alright so first off, I wanna start off by saying that I did relapse 3 days ago but I have been having these issues for a very long time. So 16M here and here's my story: I believe I am too philosophical so of late, I've been reading a lot of social psychology books including Models by Mark Manson, No More Mr. Nice Guy. I often feel like I am a person who is lower on the social skills section. NoFap has opened my eyes towards my issues but facing them hasn't always been easy. I've wanted to change myself and one day, I was somehow introduced to red pill. Although like many teens I was lured into it and I began reading it, its misogyny turned me away. However, one thing I feel as though is I am not alpha enough. I know many of you would say being alpha isn't even a thing, I know that I have never been able to achieve my full potential. I was a champion in chess when I was 4, I talked to only girls and I was the happiest I've ever been. Although the majority of my situations have stayed the same, I am not even close to what I was back then on the contrary. I wanna be the best at things I do, earn respect from others, be socially-confident and also realize my talents and potentials rather than sit down and procrastinate or be depressed, I wanna be more alpha (although I know many of you disagree on the concepts of alphas and betas). This has stressed me a lot and its like no matter how hard I try and I change my ways, nothing's different. I have healthy habits I practice regularly like meditation, exercising and other things but somedays, I just can't change my lazy and unmotivated attitude and I end up wasting the day. How do I change my outlook and be more positive in general? How do I be the man I've been or rather a much-better person than that without losing myself? I'm sorry if this is a rather long rant, I've just a bit down for the last 2 months. Please help me if you can or do share your opinions if you face similar issues.