i have lost it

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Ankur Sharma, May 23, 2018.

  1. Ankur Sharma

    Ankur Sharma Fapstronaut

    I have lost my battle against M. I have just lost it completely. I have quit P but not M. I am in depression because of it and its chronic.
  2. RamboErecto

    RamboErecto Fapstronaut

    Its ok, nobody is 100% ready to deal with porn addiction, since is the more normal in the modern man.

    Just give you time to recover, then you can reboot.

    Also, dont do it again. Just because you already broke a steak it dont means you are free to fap. If you do it again, it will get worse, so just take a breath and think what you just do. Then reset!
  3. theBornAgain

    theBornAgain Fapstronaut

    I am in the same situation Ankur and I am also from India brother from Guwahati to be precise. I too feel hopeless now unemployed yesterday broke my 7 day streak. Feeling hopeless and all but trust me this too shall pass . You are stronger than you think. Lets do this again I am with you. You are not alone.
    unkiefunkie likes this.
  4. Ridley

    Ridley Fapstronaut

    I know this might be an unpopular opinion, but I don't think masturbation is necessarily unhealthy, especially if done in moderation and done without porn. I used to beat myself over the head ceaselessly for masturbating, but what I realized was that my problem wasn't with masturbation: my problem was with porn. I had been watching porn for over a decade, and I almost always masturbated when I watched porn. The two had become synonymous: masturbation and porn were the same thing for me. However, the thing I've learned during my own personal reboot is that they're not the same thing at all. Porn is a perversion of your sexuality. Watching porn makes your brain think that sexual satisfaction comes from watching images on a screen. Masturbation is about your body, and relieving your body's desire to ejaculate. Masturbation (without porn) teaches your brain that sexual satisfaction comes from your body, which is true (partially, it also comes from connection with other people). I still struggle with this distinction today, and when I masturbate sometimes I still feel incredibly guilty, as though I had just watched porn. Slowly, but surely, that connection between porn and my sexuality are breaking down and, for me, that's what rebooting is really all about.

    I'm not suggesting that you start masturbating all the time. I would never tell you to do that. I just want you to feel free in your own sexuality. Porn keeps you enslaved, and I think it's a really positive thing that you were able to quit using porn (it's been really positive for me, too). I'm just suggesting that you decide what your own goals are and that you take some time to think about what masturbation is and what it does for you. I think everyone will have a different journey when they decide to reboot, and if masturbation is allowed in your reboot process, then I think that's okay. If masturbation is compulsive to you, and you feel like it's controlling your life rather than you deciding when you want to do it, and that means that you don't want to masturbate at all during your reboot, I think that's equally okay.

    I allow myself to masturbate during my reboot, and I've still seen so many positive changes in my life from quitting porn. I have some ground rules about masturbating during my reboot: When I watched porn, I would do it to self-medicate, to escape from my life and to suppress (or redirect) negative emotions. Therefore, I only masturbate during my reboot to relieve sexual tension in my body, and not to self-medicate or to suppress negative emotions. Sometimes, I get very horny for my girlfriend, but she's not always in the mood for sex, so in a situation like that, I think masturbation is an acceptable alternative. After laying those restrictions for myself, the goals of my reboot became much clearer. One of the goals of my reboot is to get to a point where I can masturbate without feeling horribly guilty, as though I had just watched porn.

    I know this comment is getting long, but if you take anything away from it, please take this: You can set your own definition of what a reboot is for you. If masturbation is a part of your reboot, that's okay. If not, that's equally okay. It's just important for you to look within and find out where you really want to be in life. I think a reboot is like re-building your sexuality out of building blocks. Sex is a block, relationships make up a block, masturbation makes up a block, your preferences make up a block, your body makes up a block, and even porn makes up a block (although porn is really more like a spherical block than a rectangular one...). You can stack those blocks up however you want, and if one of them doesn't seem to fit, then that's okay. Discovering which ones belong where is what rebooting is all about.

    If you want some more reading on this topic, here's a thread from YourBrainOnPorn's porn addiction recovery forum that has really helped me understand where masturbation fits in to the rebooting process:

    here's a thread on the NoFap SubReddit about masturbating during a reboot:

    Here's a threat from YourBrainOnPorn's porn addiction recovery forum that focuses on a particular rebooting strategy that worked for one man. The reboot plan allows you to masturbate, and it might be worth your time to read it over:

    Good luck with your recovery, man. I think it's really great that you've been able to quit porn, and I hope you find peace surrounding your sexuality.
  5. You are a winner! The porn is the worst thing by far!

    THIS. Additionally, avoid fantasies / memories from porn.
  6. Ridley

    Ridley Fapstronaut

    Agreed there. There's more about all of this in the threads I cited in my last comment.
    Immature likes this.

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