I have never been this far but now I want to quit....

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by fapstraunaut90, Nov 3, 2017.

  1. fapstraunaut90

    fapstraunaut90 Fapstronaut

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    So today is my 71st day and just 19 days more for my first of the many 90 day streaks t come. But as I am getting closer to this target, its getting harder to stay focused on this. I want to break this streak right now and my brain is giving me all sorts of valid reasons to do it. I feel very restless and anxious and not able to concentrate on studies (I have big entrance exam coming up in a few days). Yes there have been benefits of this and i still would want to continue but this wish to end this streak and fap and give myself reasons to do it is overwhelming. I was very close to fapping today. Somehow I just said that i'll at least write a post first here and see why is this happening. After all fapping a couple of hours later won't make much of difference.
    Any advice guys??
    Also I am off P for about 150 days..last time only OM happened.
     
  2. Tonytone

    Tonytone Fapstronaut

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    Hmmmm...I know how you feel when you'r just consumed with the days and counting. I made it only 9 once and said "fuck it" and fapped. No binge, just one and done, then immediately started another streak. Short, but a streak nonetheless.
     
  3. fapstraunaut90

    fapstraunaut90 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for sharing that :)
     
  4. Alex King

    Alex King Guest

    Your addiction is desperate to pull you down. You've done a commendable job for 71 days. Your addiction is scared that you will beat it. It's just trying a hail mary to stop you from being the man you want to be.
    But you are strong. You can do this. You have support here. And new guys like me look up to guys like you.
    You can fight this.
     
  5. fapstraunaut90

    fapstraunaut90 Fapstronaut

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    Wow i never thought of it like that man...thank you buddy. This just set my brain right. I'll remember this for future urges as well. Its a fucking uphill battle from now on, getting tougher and tougher. But this community is the best. I'll make it.
     
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  6. James232

    James232 Fapstronaut

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    It's not an uphill battle. You won't feel like this forever. You will have more focus than you ever have and your anxiety might even get better like mine did on my 84 day streak. Remember why you started and push through this.
     
    fapstraunaut90 likes this.
  7. r8js

    r8js Fapstronaut

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    congratulation u on 70+days.
    appreciate u around here.
     
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  8. fapstraunaut90

    fapstraunaut90 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you buddy...I hope it decreases soon.
     
    Tonytone likes this.
  9. phwrancesco

    phwrancesco Fapstronaut

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    come on man, you are so close to your goal! i experienced the best improvements between day 75 and 80 so don't quit now :)
     
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  10. fapstraunaut90

    fapstraunaut90 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks man..i need all the motivation i can get at this point. Although since i wrote this..urges have gone down..took loads of cold showers and some meditation and exercise as well. Clear as of now
     
    phwrancesco likes this.
  11. Fork2323

    Fork2323 Fapstronaut

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    I always want to take the easy way out when im stressed too. You said you have a big exam coming up.. that is probibly making you want to MO to escape the fear and anxiety.. if you MO now its training your brain to do that to escape stress.. but if you dont and do other healthy things it will train your brain to do them instead in the future when you are stressed.. so keep it up brother. When you make it through this challange it will be easier next time..
     
    fapstraunaut90 likes this.
  12. fapstraunaut90

    fapstraunaut90 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks man, i do get your point of training my brain for a certain behavior. Now tbh by seeing all the responses and the reasons, urges have decreased and are in control.
     
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  13. DerNeuMann

    DerNeuMann Fapstronaut

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    Your brain is craving the stress escape and trying to convince you that you need to return to your old habit and hide from the things causing stress, aka denial. Look, you just have to make it through the test and the cravings will ease a bit. Here's what gets me through this:
    1. Go for a walk and while on the walk, think about structuring how you'll study and what you need to get a good test grade. Don't think about the cravings.
    2. Jot the structure down and follow it. If possible, call up someone to study with.
    Right now, you just need to make it through today. Then just make it through tonight. Get out of bed in the morning right away without touching you know what and workout, eat, jog, whatever.

    I've relapsed from stress more than I could count until I realized I was using the dopamine to escape reality and responsibility. In such times I've learned to just get busy, try to get fapping off my mind for the next hour, then the next, then the next. Really making a difference.

    You can do this because you're ready to be a man and ready to stop being a desperate 14 year old. You can do it.
     
  14. Flossy Carter

    Flossy Carter Fapstronaut

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    I had the exact same scenario as you and let me tell you, your brain is trying to give you every single way to rationalize with the urges

    I was so restless and had a lot of pressure arise from inside and one day i was like fuck it, I'll start another streak after my finals but guess what happened? I binged everyday for 6 months until i decoder that this was wrong and i needed to get back on nofap (you can see whenever i don't visit this site for over a week, it most likely means I've fell off the train)

    What I'm saying is, don't let your brain get you to masturbate, it's just desperately needs to get a dopamine fix and you shouldn't allow it (just like locking a drug addict with nothing and his thoughts inside a room for 90 days)

    Stay strong
     
  15. Tonytone

    Tonytone Fapstronaut

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    75 and 80, brother? Fuck....I have yet to reach double digits. I need to realign.
     
  16. fapstraunaut90

    fapstraunaut90 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you brother for explaining that. Its like when you are an addict your brain looses its capacity to see things from a neutral standpoint. Your message again made it clear to me whats happening. Although on 70+ days but I guess I still have a long way to go. Thanks for the advice
    All the best for your streak as well
     
  17. fapstraunaut90

    fapstraunaut90 Fapstronaut

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    Now as i read your situation it actually makes my urges go away coz my brain has started to come on track and see whats really happening. How fucked up scenarios and reasons we can form is absolutely amazing. Also last streak was 70 and after that i also binged for like 20 days. then small streaks of 3-4 days only. Took a long time to finally get to here. So thanks again for reminding me of the reality brother. And all the best to you too for your streak.
     
    Flossy Carter likes this.
  18. HatePorn

    HatePorn Fapstronaut

    Thats the problem with all these challanges, 7 days, 90 days, 120 days.....what do you think happens to most of people after reaching their goals? They relapse. Next time do 50000 days challange.
     
  19. fapstraunaut90

    fapstraunaut90 Fapstronaut

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    Hey brother,
    I was in your position a few months back. In fact everyone who did this challenge was. And it took me a long time to come to this point. But the key thing for me to keep on continuing after each failed streak was my attitude towards it. Don't get disheartened by the numbers. I still get the urges and cravings as you do on day 1. Its all the same. This is a journey. Yes we need some goals posts from time to time so you start small. Say 10 days without PMO. And think that this is your future self asking you. Be honest to your future self and do this for 10 days. HARD MODE... Do whatever you have to do for that future you who waits at the end of 10th day.
    Just get started..you'll feel the difference in this short span of time only. After that its just about multiplying the benefits of it as per your need.
    Also whenever i relpased i just MO'ed...so no P for me for like more than 150 days. So even of you want to masturbate, do it without any form of stimulation except your imagination and hands. I know this is counter productive to this journey of yours but porn really fucks it up the most. So first and the most important goal is to eliminate that. Then like a domino effect your streak will just keep on increasing.
    This forum is filled with amazing techniques and must do's to maintain streaks so be on it. And also don't hestoate to post your questions. This is seriously an amazing community.
    All the best brother. Stay strong
     
    Tonytone likes this.
  20. fapstraunaut90

    fapstraunaut90 Fapstronaut

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    lol..you know I was on the forum and I read this thing somewhere else too. I do realized that i was in it for the streak a couple of days back. Although you are right that numbers can fraud us, but the thing is that a lot of people here myself included when started needed some achievable goal. So that's why the challenge. Once you reach there and in the process see its benefits, then you can rationally decide whats better for you instead of an addict. The goal is to rid of that addiction, the challenge is just a way to spice it up i guess, so that more people at least give it a shot.
     
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