I have no friends

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by 888Konichiva888, Aug 20, 2019.

  1. 888Konichiva888

    888Konichiva888 Fapstronaut

    I am 21 and I live with parents. In childhood I had a lot of friends but now iam does not have any. I had those friends who only knows about when to drink beer or other stuff, smoke a lot. But I am not smoking and drinking alcohol person.
    I like to draw and read books, do sports.
    I decided to don't talk to my old friends.
    I sometimes feel lonely. I don't have a gf, because I think girls don't give a shit about me. I am shy and bored of my life. Sometimes I think for what I live and I don't know. I haven't a main purpose of life. I live a mediocre life, I am not happy about it. I know that people may live worse than I. Much worse. But maybe I don't realize that my life is much better than other countries and regions. For example in Africa they does not have a clear water to drink or wash hands, and I have a lot of water. I have a lot of good things in my life but I don't care about it.
     
  2. The Legend of Hope

    The Legend of Hope Fapstronaut

    I know one guy that was like you. Really you could be the same person. He changed a lot and had difficulties with friends and also a little with family. He is a really cool dude and he found some really good friends even tho he isn't always hanging out he knows they have a lot of good time together. After a while he even met a girl. He was too shy to talk to a girl but one day xD he just did it. Hey failed once or twice but he told me that the girl he met was really cute and stuff... he couldn't stop talking about her sometimes ^^ he improved a lot. Oh by the way I am talking about you when you finally stop complaining and start doing things and keep your attitude that things will work when you keep trying and keep learning.
     
  3. 888Konichiva888

    888Konichiva888 Fapstronaut

    And what about you? Are you completely free of it? What is your longest streak?
     
  4. The Legend of Hope

    The Legend of Hope Fapstronaut

    Yes I am.
    I am not hypocritical.
    Hmm official 28 Days but inofficial 3 months.
     
    motive_360 and 888Konichiva888 like this.
  5. skibum71

    skibum71 Fapstronaut

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    I think it's good that you don't want to hang around the drinking/smoking guys. Yes it is fun and a bit dangerous which is part of being a young person but this lifestyle can lead to lots of troubles, mental and physical.
    Also what you said about Africa, this is important. It's a very simple practice, to think "it could be worse" - but if you develop it, it leads to gratitude, which is a very positive mindset to have.
    Can you go to Uni? Do you have any idea what you would study?
     
  6. 888Konichiva888

    888Konichiva888 Fapstronaut

    Today I quit my work, and now I live in home and don't know what to do. I am still studying in technical college, but I doesn't like this course. I want to work in art sphere, but iam not skilled enough and I haven't got experience in work to be employed.
     
  7. 888Konichiva888

    888Konichiva888 Fapstronaut

    You know in our country people who have a high degree and a lot of experience has not been employed to a good work. There is not so many work places where pays a good money.
     
    Last edited: Aug 21, 2019
  8. BreathTheFreeAir

    BreathTheFreeAir Fapstronaut

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    Your mission today should you choose to accept it is to leave the house. Go anywhere where there are people.

    Say Hi to 5 of them.

    That's it. Let us know how you did.

    I would suggest a museum, book store or local sporting event.
     
    Last edited: Aug 21, 2019
  9. Helpmeout123

    Helpmeout123 Fapstronaut

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    Do something about it rather than feeling sorry about yourself then
     
    The Legend of Hope likes this.
  10. 888Konichiva888

    888Konichiva888 Fapstronaut

    You know that it is easy to complain much harder to do something in consistent basis
     
  11. The Legend of Hope

    The Legend of Hope Fapstronaut

    Of course it is. Thats why so many talk and nobody does! That's why I stopped making promises till I made it out!
     
    888Konichiva888 likes this.
  12. Angus McGyver

    Angus McGyver Fapstronaut

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    It seems like your interests are very similar to mine (reading and exercising/sporting) and my suggestion is that you find an organization/club of some kind where you can meet new people with similar interests. It doesn't matter if they are older, younger, or anything in-between because you can establish many good, useful and meaningful connections in those circles with similar interests and learn a lot form the people in them.
    My High school years were the worst time in my life (with few friends, social anxiety/phobia, divorcing parents, mean classmates, performance anxiety and spotty/oily skin) but I could cope with it because of practicing my sport and the social connections I formed in my sports club and of course our cute, adorable and cheerful (American) Cocker Spaniel.

    I have never liked the party-people or their values since they are mostly shite anyway. Most of them only create drama, have no structure in their lives, damage their bodies and minds, and are just not nice people to be around. They might think they are the coolest shit during their young years but when they have continued on that path for another 10-15 years and all the side-effects start to show up (pale and swollen skin, bad teeth, rugged hair, overweight, etc), they are not so cool anymore and will beg for your attention and friendship as they realize what drunken losers they have become.
    I don't feel sorry for these people and neither should you when you get older. They will just try to drag you down to their own basement-level.
     
  13. TheGambler

    TheGambler Fapstronaut

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    Yea this is tough decision as you get older. Basically as humans we're all the same in that we have a dark side. My old friends are basically pretty good people and in my ways better than me. For example, my buddy is a plumber and has worked for the same guy for 5 yrs. I've never worked for the same person more than 18 months. He drinks and smokes weed, but it doesn't affect his functioning.

    More importantly I'm looking for reciprocity. If I see a person is too selfish to communicate or give me their time its time to pull back. I say that because I've tried it both ways; continue trying to be their friend, and going cold. Now, with that said I know I'm not easy to be friends with. I'm opinionated, love to debate, need to be right etc.

    So friendship and all relationships are very difficult, probably the hardest thing in life. Lastly, there's very little improvement going from no friends to loser friends. But there again, everyone is a loser in some way so its not black and white.
     
  14. Kman20

    Kman20 Fapstronaut

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    Hey man, when you don’t have any friends or a spouse in your life it’s so common for us to feel purposeless. If you reach out even on the internet I assure you you’ll find a few friends. I also draw and read books and those are common hobbies. Have you ever heard of meetup?
     
    888Konichiva888 likes this.
  15. motion2082

    motion2082 Fapstronaut

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    People are overrated and will just hurt you in the end. Although when you find someone that really cares it's a special moment
     
    888Konichiva888 and Fullyawake like this.
  16. Fullyawake

    Fullyawake Fapstronaut

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    Friends are problems. No friends and yet no enemies, absolutely free. I’m just after one person. A beautiful woman to share my life with.
     
  17. Yep u do

    Yep u do Fapstronaut

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    :confused:
     
    BreathTheFreeAir likes this.
  18. Yep u do

    Yep u do Fapstronaut

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    Yeah for the moment, wait a bit or take it away from him and you will see his real state
     
  19. elevate

    elevate Fapstronaut

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    If you're always focusing on the things you don't like about your life, you're wasting a lot of time and energy that you could be directing towards a life that you desire.

    Complaining leads to worry / fear / doubt / stress / depression / tension. It increases cortisol. Lowers cognitive functions / creativity / drive / testosterone. It creates a habit of feeling numb / dull / bored / expressionless. Your thoughts expand to become feelings which expand to become behavior and ultimately creates your reality. So you end up creating a self fulfilling prophecy of having more of what you don't want.

    You have to have belief for a better life. The ability to see beyond your current reality. To have higher quality and productive thoughts, feelings, and behavior that works towards your desires. If you're not excited to work towards it, then you don't believe that it can happen and you won't put enough quality effort that would create real change in your life. If you're afraid, it means you're expecting to lose. When you expect to lose, you tip toe your way safely towards your goals. You dabble and give mediocre effort towards it. You waste precious energy and time on complaining and focusing on all the things you don't want. You dip your toe once in a while in the water, but what you should really be doing is jumping in the deep end like a cannon ball. You should be putting forth urgent, drastic, and massive action. Everyday should be full of positive intention and excitement towards the life that you want.

    That's what it takes to create the life that you want... and it's hard, uncomfortable, unideal, and it might not work. That's why most people would rather stay a victim and complain. It's not easy to believe and feel beyond the current touch, feel, hear, see, and taste reality.... but you'll never put forth the necessary consistent amount of effort / risks / failures / mistakes / rejections that you need to achieve your desired success if you don't expect and believe that you can win.

    It takes a lot of time, energy, and intense unwavering intention to create a great life. If you're really committed, then you wouldn't waste one ounce of it on complaining, being a victim, and focusing on everything that you don't want in life.
     
    Homelander, ShowY, Hishiryo and 4 others like this.
  20. Ishan@123

    [email protected] Fapstronaut

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    Bro add me on kik messenger my text me we all r ur frnds
     

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