I have problems, need some advice

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by whocares, Nov 29, 2015.

  1. whocares

    whocares Guest

    Sorry in advance for my bad English.

    I started NoFap 19 days ago, relapse after 16 days. I've been doing PMO for last 15 years, every day!! And yes I am ashamed of it. before 19 days ago I couldn't even dream a day without PMO, but I decided to not to do PMO 19 days ago, every day I didn't PMO I became more powerful, confident, sharp minded, etc. For the first time, I began to feel what life feels like. It was awesome!!

    But as every day passed by without PMO, my mind's neurons which used to receive an amount of dopamine as a daily basis, didn't get what they were getting for last 15 years at least once a day! Long story short I got out of control at the 16th day and relapsed(I am not ashamed by this relapse because mentally/physically it was impossible for me to resist anymore longer, I guess need a break). The first relapse after the 16th day was 3 days ago. but since my first relapse, I relapsed multiple time again and again and again the same pattern I had for last 15 year -- which I am totally ashamed of the afterward relapses!!

    I don't know about you guys, but NoFap takes a lot of my energy. My daily routine is in such way that my body produces a lot amount of testosterone on a daily basis because I am an intermediate lifter and have been lifting for 5 years, every day. with every lifting session a lot amount of testosterone pumps into my body(this is coded in our DNA, I cannot help it) and consequently it raises the desire to have sexual activities way more than a normal non-lifter guy. I am single so I don't have access to real sex for now -- and I don't think I would have one anytime soon. THIS PART IS NOT MY PROBLEM, I can handle the increased testosterone level after each lifting session without having to do PMO.

    PROBLEM#1 I am currently a student of Master Science in Engineering, which requires quite an amount of studying every day, The combination of NoFap, lifting & studying take a lot of time/energy from me and I don't want to give up either of them. How do you suggest I make it work, without affecting my studying performance!?(which is a mental thing as desire to PMO, you cannot have both at the same time)

    PROBLEM#2 It seems my mind needs a buzz after some studying which unfortunately I wired my mind to get it from PMO over years. How can I get the buzz to refresh my mind and make me jump back into studying quick without having to do PMO!?

    My philosophy is that the life is short and we live only once, so this is on us to experience the most of it, I have experienced a numb life with PMO for 15 years, I really want to experience the life without it :)

    Any comment is welcomed.
  2. Captain B

    Captain B Fapstronaut

    I was in a very similar situation when I started my first streak (including the engineering M. Sc. :)).

    Problem #1: When you start a streak, the first weeks (for me it seems to be 1-3 weeks) are the hardest and there is a high chance your studying will be affected negatively during that time. After that you will get used to it though and it won't take up as much energy anymore. You might even get better concentration! So my advice would be to just hang in there and get through the first weeks. Also, you could combine your NoFap-efforts with your work-out routine. Work out whenever you feel urges coming up. Or if there's a specific time of day during which urges are usually strongest, set your work-out schedule to that time.

    Problem #2: I know exactly what you mean by that buzz! I relapsed after over a year without PMO when I was writing my thesis because I could not handle the level of stress anymore. Something that worked for me (up to that point at least) was to replace PMO with something fun AND productive. I played the guitar or went to the gym whenever I felt urges to PMO coming up. Recently I've been watching a lot of different tv shows instead of PMOing. This is not working as well though as it does take my mind off of things but it's not very rewarding. So I suggest you find something fun and productive to replace PMO with! I rrrreally recommend picking up an instrument!
    whocares likes this.

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