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I have some questions for those who have been here a long time

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by teomio, Dec 4, 2023.

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  1. teomio

    teomio Fapstronaut

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    Is it true that after a while, you stop having the desire to watch porn? And that you no longer need to masturbate?
    I read here that after 90 days you have already overcome everything and I want to know if it is true, or if the desires never really go away.
    And those who no longer see it, do they really no longer feel tempted or will there always be that desire?
    Why are you guys trying to quit? what do you want to achieve?
    And if you left it completely, why are you still here on the forum?

    I tell you about me.
    I've been trying to quit these last few months (I'm not sure if it's 4 or 6), the first few months I came back every so often for 1 or 2 weeks, but I got better, I haven't seen it for almost 2-3 months (I've seen it like 3 times by accident because I had in my gallery, but luckily I didn't see it properly and deleted it immediately)
    But I've been watching AI-generated images of muscular men (yes, I'm gay) but not porn, and I still count it as a defeat, since I like watching it.
    I'm also trying to quit, but I always go back to watching, although every time I do I suffer a lot because I know I shouldn't do it, because it tempts me to watch porn (luckily I haven't, but I keep telling myself that "this time I'll see, I give up" in the end I don't, but I feel bad thinking about it. I feel bad about feeling pleasure...

    I have also come to masturbate so I can stop having those desires ((I don't even do it to feel good anymore because it doesn't give me pleasure anymore, I just feel disgusting, but I do it by choosing the lesser evil I guess), I go 1 or 2 weeks without watching and then I want to see again because practically all over the internet and video games there are extremely attractive men, and that tempts me.
    I want to try to control my desire, I had thought about simply leaving social networks, but I thought that wouldn't help (plus I work with social networks and I can't leave them), but it's also because I think that wouldn't really be defeating it, since what if I see it sometimes, something that always happens is controlling my thoughts and impulses. There I feel I'm going to win.
    What I want is to stop having those desires without having to masturbate, to completely control my body and my mind, that is my goal.
    Feeling pleasure makes me feel like I'm a slave, and I don't want to.
    I don't want this to improve my life or find a partner or be more social, I just want to control myself and know that I can do it.
    I want your thoughts please.
     
    Last edited: Dec 4, 2023
  2. Two reasons: because I want to repent of this sin and to be able to stand before God and say, "Yes, but I've repented of that"; also, I want to prove to myself that I am in control of my desires and temptations.

    What I am trying to accomplish is look back at how my family is doing and see if there is any improvement with my wife and my kids; I do wonder how much is it my fault that we're all in such a rut.
     
  3. teomio

    teomio Fapstronaut

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    But do you do it more to be better for your family, and to be better with God?
    The truth is that I don't have anyone who really depends on me, it's just me, and I don't really know what to think about God. My only motivation is just to control myself because I don't like being a slave, but I think that's not enough motivation.
     
  4. That is the case, yes: I'm more of doing it for both family and God.

    Doing it to prove to yourself that you're not a slave to it is just as good.
     
    teomio likes this.
  5. zorilla

    zorilla Fapstronaut

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    I would say after a while it gets easier to make the choice of not doing it but the desire is always there you just learn to live with it and deal with it in a peaceful way. When you acknowledge how you feel but simply choose the right choice.

    I'm on the forum to remind myself of how bad it is and hopefully by chance I can help someone find peace. because in my opinion peace within yourself is most important since focusing on just being happy is unrealistic and setting expectations, life will always be ups and downs peace is when you deal with both sides in a healthy way. For example use your sexual energy for a greater purpose, for me I kept relapsing when nothing in my life was more important then I created a purpose for my life by just focusing on what really matters to me and it all changed.

    I am trying to quit because it is right in my opinion personally. It is purity, joy and freedom from my experience whenever I was and am currently on a long streak I felt joy again like when I was a child, feel no guilt, no shame, no shackles of lust, lust is like chasing after a carrot on a stick your never get the carrot which means your never be satisfied thats not a life thats just being a slave to yourself. Remember yourself isn't the enemy but it is just sometimes your soul needs to correct your mind like a toddler having a tantrum, your mind has tantrums when it doesn't get what it wants (Dopamine rush) and whats the best way to deal with a tantrum don't give in to what it wants, hold your ground. Then your mind will start to rewire and change.

    Ultimately life is a choice and frankly its only YOUR fault if it continues, also true failure is when you give up not just because you lost a battle or multiple ones. We all have the power to change our lifes. If you genuinely want to change it will happen you can't kinda want to change and be lukewarm you have to really want it. Hope I helped you, peace.
     
    Last edited: Dec 4, 2023
    teomio and kropo82 like this.
  6. kropo82

    kropo82 Fapstronaut

    It lessens considerably, and becomes easier to resist with practice, but sometimes the desire flares up, so it is worth staying on top of the techniques you use to avoid porn.

    It was never a need. It is up to you whether you go back to it or keep off. I worry that masturbation might lead me back to porn so I am staying clear.

    Too short a period for most of us. Aim for 90, then 180, then see how you are doing.

    See this post.

    I want to stay vigilant, make sure that I am still doing some 'sobriety work'.
     
    teomio likes this.
  7. nomo

    nomo Fapstronaut

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    I've been on and off this site since 2015, so I'm not exactly a poster boy for Nofap success. However, when I'm on this site I'm much better at no PMO.

    My reason for being here is to quit watching porn. When my porn addiction is raging, I could spend 2-6 hours a day watching it. As you can imagine, spending that much time on such a useless activity makes life difficult.

    When I'm here, I have the tools to help me and less desire to watch porn. Instead of binging on porn everyday, I now have the occasional relapse that last about 2-hours.

    Hope that helps.
     
    teomio likes this.
  8. TheRaven8386

    TheRaven8386 Fapstronaut

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    I'm doing this so I can enjoy sex with my Fiance'. I was nearly impotent with her after 5 years and tried to find every possible physical reason there could be until I learned about P.I.E.D. After a 30 day streak sexgot WAY better, but I am a LOOOOONG way from healed. Had sex a week ago after a 79 day streak and flatline is still hitting me.
     
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  9. Randy Andy

    Randy Andy Fapstronaut

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    i feel different than I did in my first year of sobriety or my second. Generally i feel a lot of relief but not “ok I got This” :). There are many things i used to obsessed with that are much less commonly passing over my mind the last few years of sobriety. I’m grateful for that.

    You asked “what do you want to achieve?” I just wanted to not have to use pm+ as a drug ever again. That is definitely available to any of us.

    About “ if you left it completely, why are you still here on the forum?” I don’t believe I could never act out again quite the opposite and that’s exactly why I do keep coming back : trying to be helpful helps me a lot
     
    kropo82, again and teomio like this.
  10. teomio

    teomio Fapstronaut

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    thank you
    You left me with a lot to think about. I really hope to find motivation in my life because I don't want to relapse, but I feel like I can't find anything. Sometimes I feel like I want to do something great, but I can't find what, it's as if there was nothing else in this life to live and enjoy, and I want more.
     
  11. teomio

    teomio Fapstronaut

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    I also spent hours watching, it was too hypnotic... it's really like poison
     
  12. teomio

    teomio Fapstronaut

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    I hope one day I can be in your place
     
  13. nomo

    nomo Fapstronaut

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    It's the most addictive drug I have ever used. It's like everything I have read about drugs, an addicted person keeps taking more and more hoping to get that initial rush that is never as good as the first time. The dopamine in our brain is crafty, I'm working on how to get it with healthier methods.
    Peace
     

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