I have some questions to pro Fapstronauts

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by zaidalit, May 20, 2017.

  1. zaidalit

    zaidalit Fapstronaut

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    Hello all, I'm new here. I'm 19 years old and I've been masturbating since I was 15. I used to masturbate twice or sometimes thrice a week. Now I feel I'm facing its consequences.

    Consequences:

    1. Zero Confidence:
    I'm a university student and our teachers oftenly ask their students to present or speak up loud in front of the class. Whenever its my turn, I start to turn blue and sweaty. I get so blank that I cant speak a word. I think its because of my habbit of frequent masturbating. Btw, I'm also a class topper and my gpa is above 3.5.​
    2. Baby Face:
    I know it might be natural, but I've researched and many people said that it happens to some people who damage their testosterone. I'm nineteen and I still look as if I were fifteen. I've hardly any hair on my face. My height is 5'9''.
    My friends call me "Shortie". I think its also because of masturbating.​
    3. Semen Leakage At Night:
    I have had so many wet dreams this year. Even if I try to abstain from porn and orgasms, I still get these wet dreams. And what worse is that I ejaculate at night without even touching my genitals.​
    4. Memory Loss:
    I think masturbating has also caused a memory dysfunction in my brain. Even the things I thoroughly read and remember, are forgotten within a day or two.
    Queries
    1. Does PMO affect your confidence?
    2. Does PMO affect manliness growth?
    3. What should I do to stop ejaculating at night?
    4. Is memory affected by PMO?
     
  2. zaidalit

    zaidalit Fapstronaut

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    I'm trying my best to stay clean these days. I'm nineteen, will staying clean would change my personality? Is my body prone to change when I abstain from such acts?
     
  3. lantti

    lantti Fapstronaut

    It doesn't- You're still you. The decision to nofap is the one changing your personality if anything. Nofap itself doesn't do that. What it does is make you free.
     
  4. m.coming.back

    m.coming.back Fapstronaut

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    dont worry all things will be okey when stop it, just do it, but for 3 its very normal and healthy at your age.
     
  5. Bearish

    Bearish Fapstronaut

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    Addiction is addiction, whether it be from a substance or a behavior. Addiction does change the brain and its ability to function without the addictive substance or behavior, hence the memory, concentration, and self-esteem complications.

    PMO does not, however, affect the functioning of your endocrine system, so you cannot make a causal link between beard growth, height, or other physical characteristics like that. Those are wives' tales meant to make people feel bad about masturbating, like telling youngsters that they will go blind or grow hair on their palms.

    In all these struggles on NoFap, it's important to distinguish the effects of PMO addiction from the social taboos of masturbating at all. Just because a cultural system is unsupportive of masturbation, doesn't make it "bad" for the body, although the social taboos CAN be bad for self-esteem and can complicate addiction recovery.

    So in order of your questions:
    1. Does PMO affect your confidence?
    Probably, if you are either truly addicted to porn or constant masturbation or you just feel ashamed of it. If one is not addicted and does not feel ashamed, masturbation probably does not affect one's confidence. The lowering of confidence is driven by how you feel about what you're doing, not really by the doing itself.

    2. Does PMO affect manliness growth?
    Definitely not, if you mean penis size. That's determined by genes, and everyone's are different.

    3. What should I do to stop ejaculating at night?
    Masturbate more. People who masturbate a lot tend not to have nocturnal emissions because it seems to be chiefly a pressure releasing mechanism. Some of us look forward to getting wet dreams because it will mean a normally-functioning reproductive system. Wet dreams are just a natural, adult sexual process, regulated by the unconscious mind.

    4. Is memory affected by PMO?
    Possibly, but it depends on the state of addictive processes. If you are truly addicted, then the hyper-focus on the addictive process can make it difficult to concentrate and remember.

    Oh, and as one baby-face to another, I finally could grow a really good beard by about age 23, but even then, I looked very young for my age. At age 50, I STILL look pretty young for my age, with a big bushy beard. Now I just sort of stick my tongue out at those who teased me for my baby face.
     
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  6. Bearish

    Bearish Fapstronaut

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    So in case I wasn't clear enough: If you're having nocturnal emissions (night-time ejaculations), then you're probably not masturbating excessively, and you're probably not addicted to anything. Porn is dangerous, so getting rid of it is an important goal--smoking, alcohol, and non-medical drugs are just as dangerous--, but don't worry too much about how your reproductive system works. Just meet new people, build relationships with them, and your confidence will improve. And allow time to pass for your body to grow up. You're very young, and your face will continue to grow more handsome as you age.
     
  7. Nymeria

    Nymeria Fapstronaut

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    In terms of you turning blue and sweaty during speaking aloud in class, this is likely due to social conditioning during your childhood. You may have had bad experiences during childhood situations where you have had to speak aloud in group situations, made mistakes and been shamed for it. This negativity manifests and you start telling yourself subconsciously that speaking aloud is dangerous, speaking to strangers is bad etc. You start viewing these situations as a threat and avoid them which only makes it worse. Its complete bullshit and totally irrational behaviour. I have this problem currently myself with presentations in front of colleagues, and approaching girls. I get really anxious and nervous, dry mouth etc. You have to reprogram your mind with new beliefs to change your behaviour and develop confidence. Personally i have found that watching porn and masturbating increases anxiety which will only further make this issue worse. In the long run, abstaining will help you control this anxiety better, however in terms of developing confidence, this takes time and practice through re programming your mind. A great book to read which i am reading now is "Code of the extraordinary mind" Also check out "MindValley" on youtube. A lot of useful information on how to reprogram your mind and live life happily is explained in greater detail
     
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  8. D . J .

    D . J . Fapstronaut

    Welcome to NoFap where you are amongst friends who are here to encourage you and sometimes challenge you but not judge you.

    The enemy is here to steal, kill and destroy. What are your current strategies for combating the enemy called PMO?
     
  9. zaidalit

    zaidalit Fapstronaut

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    I was watching a movie in which there was a seductive character. Moreover, I had an exam today and I was so frustrated and I wanted to relax.
    I have deleted all the vpns and downloaded porn videos long ago, but still when my brain gets horny, it does what it demands for. I tried to control but the video had so much attraction that I couldnt control the temptation. I don't know how I get to those websites because my brain gets half numb. Is there any way I could control my urge/temptation? Because I cant stop watching movies and I cant ignore the important scenes of the movie where such seductive characters appear.
    I seriously need counseling. Suggest some activities you would do if you had such a situation.
     
  10. D . J .

    D . J . Fapstronaut

  11. Nymeria

    Nymeria Fapstronaut

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    I read a book recently called "The Power of Habit" it explains through scientific studies, that overtime, we carry out repeated actions automatically without thinking about what we are doing. Ultimately your body is craving the Dopamine rush.

    Heres how habit works

    1.Cue
    2.Routine
    3.Reward

    The cue can be a wide range of factors, take boredom for example. You get bored... so you then move onto the routine, which is load up porn and masturbation... You then get the reward of dopamine release after orgasm. Your brain wires this behaviour and it soon becomes an automatic behaviour to get that release of dopamine. We carry out our habits without consciously thinking about them. You have consciously made the decision however, to stop. Thats the first step,

    Now, you can try and change this habit by replacing the routine of the habit. So you have a cue... Boredom... this time you replace the routine.. you do something that will ultimately release dopamine and feel good chemicals < (not porn obv, exercise maybe ? music? anything that is good for you) and that is the reward. And you do this every single time you get bored for 30 days to develop the habit to the extent where it becomes automatic and you don't even think much of getting your knob out and playing with it
     
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  12. D . J .

    D . J . Fapstronaut

    Now would be a great time for you to create your official journal. Go to the Reboot Logs and find your age group and begin your journal. Copy/ paste a link here so that we can find you and encourage you along your journey.
     
  13. Grande

    Grande New Fapstronaut

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    Personally, I also have memory dysfunctions and a self-confidence problem. I'm pretty sure that it has been caused by PMO addiction. In fact, ejaculation progressively put your entire vital energy out of your body. I think when you've been addict for a long time you no longer have enough strength left to "live correctly".
     
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  14. zaidalit

    zaidalit Fapstronaut

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    Haizam, thank you for your response mate. I'll try my best to avoid such scenes from now on.

    In my country, its not easy to discuss such topics with anyone. Not only that, people are not allowed to have a girlfriend. Even the marriages, well in my case, are arranged by parents. And I'm the youngest one after 2 brothers, so I'm kind of desperate right now because my eldest brother hasnt married yet and he's 30. My term will come after them
     
  15. red1512

    red1512 Fapstronaut

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    Yo pm me i don know about 1 and 4 but can reduce ur no 3 significantly...and no 2 i have a breif explanation on tht one !!!! Plz pm me
    Jus start conversation in ur options tab
     
  16. Nymeria

    Nymeria Fapstronaut

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    3 days man, well done
     
  17. zaidalit

    zaidalit Fapstronaut

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    Thank you so much Haizam. Your ideas have highly motivated me. I'll try my best to find an accountability partner. Thanks :)
     
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