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I have to admit something

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by FailingForward, Mar 14, 2020.

  1. Mar 14, 2020 #1
    FailingForward

    FailingForward Fapstronaut

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    Taking a long hard look at myself and I keep running into this ides that I use women to fill something up inside me. I use women to fill a crippling loneliness have because I focus too much on my work and I feel like they will be the answer to my problems. I get so needy w them that it just ends up breaking me down in the end because I came out with the wrong intentions on the first place. I’m not sure if years and years of porn just scrutinized my view but, I want to do something different. I want to be able to fill that gap with love and be comfortable with that. The only thing that helps me is hearing how men are suppose to conduct themselves with cold intentions with their eyes to the sky and let God help. That makes me feel more comfortable in my skin but it only lasts for a while. Does it really take the much hard work to be something or am I just truly not being myself? Or is it the fact that I am scared to take any risks at least trying something and failing because I hate failing so much
     
    FailingForward, Mar 14, 2020
    FailingForward, Mar 14, 2020
    #1
    Master Chips likes this.
  2. Mar 14, 2020 #2
    Deleted Account

    Deleted Account Guest

    Everyone hates failing, but you have to try. When you put yourself out there sometimes it hurts other times its a pleasent suprise.
     
    Deleted Account, Mar 14, 2020
    Deleted Account, Mar 14, 2020
    #2
    Master Chips likes this.
  3. Mar 15, 2020 #3
    Randy Andy

    Randy Andy Fapstronaut

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    That is interesting, I was really relating right up until "men are supposed to conduct themselves with cold intentions..." How do you know? I can't know this for anyone not even myself but what I try to practice is warm intentions. I really liked what you said about letting your higher power help, people used to tell me "god is love" so by warm intentions i mean practicing true love for everyone I meet or see. Sometimes for me that includes directing my gaze away but usually that happens to me out if shame not love, I find shame disconnects me whereas love connects. It can be scary, we are people who have consistently for decades confused "what is love" in ways that hurt and split and damaged. But true love isn't like that at all. I sometimes hear people talk about being afraid of love or intimacy, they must mean some other thing.
     
    Randy Andy, Mar 15, 2020
    Randy Andy, Mar 15, 2020
    #3

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