I have twink envy

There was a gay porn actor who I remembered during my recent relapse. I did a little investigative work and found his twitter account, and channel which he uses to stream himself engaging with his fanbase. This left me feeling very dissatisfied with my body.

I realised, after looking for workouts to cultivate a twink body, that I’m starting to envy them. I wish I had a pretty and delicate body, and I wish I were eighteen again. This seems to be an ideal of mine, to have a womanly body and have men lavish me with money and gifts. On the actor’s stream played the song ‘My Humps’:

I drive these brothers crazy
I do it on the daily
They treat me really nicely
They buy me all these ice

Why am I stressing over something so unnecessary?