I have very high standards

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by helloo1221, Oct 14, 2021.

  1. Vargiskald

    Vargiskald Fapstronaut

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    Oh yes. I'm into my first relationship. Man, I wanted it to be perfect but it's just mess now.
    It takes a lots of talks, work and mainly and most importantly - NO HURRY! Take it slow, talk things over, get to know that someone and it will be alright!
     
    Krishna Das likes this.
  2. Psalm27:1my light

    Psalm27:1my light Fapstronaut

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    So what if it takes years. Getting into a relationship while still in addiction will only make things worse and possibly destroy another person. Quit relapsing. A relationship is not going to fix you. Only you can get into recovery, a relationship will complicate it.
     
  3. helloo1221

    helloo1221 Fapstronaut

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    i dont think it will destroy it,i a very good man that respect and love women,the only bad thing that might happen during a relashionship because of porn is pied.I've been trying to quit relapsing 2 years now without getting in a relashionshing
     
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  4. helloo1221

    helloo1221 Fapstronaut

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    it might take 8 years from now to quit porn forever,i cant wait for the reboot my whole life so i will be able to have a relationship
     
    Krishna Das likes this.
  5. Psalm27:1my light

    Psalm27:1my light Fapstronaut

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    No, pied is absolutely not the worse thing that happens to a relationship from porn addiction. A very good man who loves and respects women doesn’t masturbate to porn. A good man doesn’t use and objectify women, which is what pmo is.
     
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  6. Psalm27:1my light

    Psalm27:1my light Fapstronaut

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    No, quit using today and forever. It doesn’t t have to take 8 years. What do you want more ? Your addiction or to be healthy and have a chance at a healthy relationship. Find out why you are addicted and address that.
     
    Krishna Das likes this.
  7. helloo1221

    helloo1221 Fapstronaut

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    i think the reason of my addiction is loneliness,so i will try if a relationship will make me feel better,i am not saying that the relationship will make me succeed on nofap but i will try it if is the loneliness the problem,believe me i am very serious about nofap,i have tried almost everything and i havent gotten the results hat i want so i will keep trying and doing different things so one day i will succeed
     
    Krishna Das likes this.
  8. helloo1221

    helloo1221 Fapstronaut

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    i understand why are you saying this,you are very right but you never know how much time it will take for me to take that one decision that will change my life,i have tried thousants times too take that decision but i keep failing.I know how it is when you take a big decision like this i have done it before covid i went 6 months straight nofap hard mode on my first try ,but that happened because that time i was extremely motivate to try nofap and see the benefits myself
     
    Krishna Das likes this.
  9. Psalm27:1my light

    Psalm27:1my light Fapstronaut

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    You can alleviate loneliness in many different ways. Close friendships, intimate male friendships that you trust. Learn to be vulnerable in friendships and that will help.
     
    Krishna Das likes this.
  10. mentorr

    mentorr Fapstronaut

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    I don't think you understand: you don't really have a choice in your current situation. Do not get me wrong, you can have a relationship, but you will either have to a) come clean and tell her about your recovery or b) hide it for as long as you can until it comes to light. Please understand that I am saying this from experience. At 33 I have had the same mindset as you, doing my best to cultivate relationships with beautiful women, while hiding the fact that I cannot gain an erection, let alone maintain one. After tonnes of failed attempts, you will gradually realise that there is no shortcut, there is no magic pill, there is no way out of rebooting. If you want to reach your real self, you will have to go through the reboot at some point. Whether that point is this year, or in the year 2052 is entirely up to you.

    I think you have to be honest with yourself and realise that you might not be as serious as you 'think' you are about recovery. Serious guys are willing to go as long as it takes to cure themselves, serious guys couldn't careless about being in a relationship until they are cured. Serious guys realise that being lonely is an internal problem and not an external one.

    Start your reboot now, get your head down and do whatever it takes to cure yourself. It is highly likely that along the way you can meet someone who you can be honest with. At 21, time is on your side and who knows after 90 days you might be good to go, but hear me well when I say that you have not tried everything and that there is no reason for a reboot to take 8 years. Get your addiction under control first.
     
    Last edited: Oct 16, 2021
  11. PMOare4SoyBoys

    PMOare4SoyBoys Fapstronaut

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    Being good looking as a guy isn't the most important factor when it comes to dating, it is somewhat important but only if you tick other boxes too. And if what you said is true then you shouldn't have any issues finding a girl that meets your standards if you had a lot to offer.
     

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