I honestly don’t know what to do

[Disaaas24]

I did nofap for the whole of 2019 I struggled with it little bit at the beginning but I managed to take of and go full 365+ days
It wasn’t nofap tho it was more like semen retention (no fucking women, no fapping,no porn) literally nothing just focusing on your shit
On those 365 days I saw every benefit you could imagine and you ever heard of

-stupid amount of women attraction literally girls would just look at me all day long from anywhere and everywhere and would literally shoot their shoot and ask for my # (but unfortunately my religion sex is not allowed without marriage so I would just turn them down + I was really focused on my shit)

-mental clarity

-motivation and insane amount of ambition
The ambition of more like when you are kid and you fell like you could do anything

- I even found out what the fuck I want to do in my life or my purpose

- a lot of energy
Etc.............

At the beginning of 2020 around January I fucked up really bad and I still regret it
I was like “it has been a year let me see how that shit is...”
I relapsed after a full year and felt really fuckn shit
And then I relapsed again and again and finally the whole month of March I didn’t not relapse
Then I fucked up again and again and again...
Until now I keep relapsing (15+ times in like 2 months)
This shit fucked up my mental health am even talking loudly to myself when people are not there ( I have never done that )
I fell like garbage, I have no energy
I basically fell like shit
And at the same time of writing this I relapsed just few minutes ago after three days of NoFap

And the most Fucked up about this is that I am a Muslim and very religious
(When I say very religious man
We pray 5 times a day every day & and am not even joking)
Fapping= very big sin in my religion
And the more even fucked up shit about this is that right now is Ramadan which means the
Holy month of our religion we fast all day and only eat at night
Even the most fucked up (who drink and smoke heavily) stop their sins at least for this month
And am fucking up at the worst time to the worst thing ever
And on top of that man I don’t even like fapping cuz I have premature ejaculation I literally last for 30 seconds or even less and am out. it’s unsatisfying or not enjoyable even at ejaculation cuz I fucking nut so fast
And I don’t even like porn cuz after those 30 seconds I don’t keep on watching porn

I lost all my benefits that I ever had ALL OF THEM and I fell like shit
Sometimes I be like “porn is [...] why would I watch a man fuck a woman while I stroke my dick”
“Why would I watch a woman masturbate I wouldn’t even watch that irl”

I literally say that all day and I be like fuck porn. Fuck that shit man it ruined my whole life
And still end up releasing that same day

And I have an iPhone so I block all websites with screen time and I can’t see any nude pics even if I search for it and I locked it with a password

and I still keep on fucking relapsing even tho it’s literally not enjoyable and it’s only less than a minute for me.
I literally can’t hold my self from something that is less than a fucking Minute or even less than 30 seconds that causes me soo much pain and suffering and ruins my life
And I don’t even enjoy the fucking shit

I fell like I have no control over my self
I fell like I have no control over my life
I just fell like I want to die I literally don’t want to live anymore
(I will keep a 100% here one time after I relapsed I felt so bad I just Cried and I slapped the fuck outta my self for hundreds of times I literally abused and beat up my own self physically and I bruised my face)
This shit got me in so fuckn bad situation in my life that I am abusing my own self
It got me to really dark fuckn place
That I fell like I just want to die man and not live anymore
I know that if I continue like this my life is going to be miserable and shityy life
I fuckn know that man
But i still FUKCN Fuck up time and time again and the disturbing truth is it’s just for less than 30 seconds and I it’s not even enjoyable for me it fells like am peeing it’s really not even an orgasm because of how fast I cum and I still fuck up for that and suffer
I don’t want to live like this
I really just fuckn wanna die


Please if anyone had a very long streak and then relapsed very badly time and time again And you can relate somehow
Then please share how you got outta this shitty fuckn hole

I've had a pretty heavy addiction to porn especially for the last 6 months or so and for the life of me could not get past even 2 days , it does it makes you feel like shit, your constantly depleting yourself mentally and physically and turn into a waster because your focus is not were it should be .

Start again .

I've finally managed to get past a single day, and have built the mindset that this is it enough is enough , since then I sailed through the first day and have no insane urges to go back, it's done

Just start again . You can do it , you did it before , you can do it again . Just make it clear in your mind your starting today, have no lingering thoughts that hang on , where you aren't sure if you will relapse again , instil the mindset so that if any thoughts pop up you know to change your focus and do not let yourself slide down the impulsive route and think fuck it Ive been doing it yesterday even today I'll do it again and start tomorrow. You have to be clear , your ready to sit in discomfort in those moments and let them pass.

I know it's only day 2 for myself , but I've finally broken the cycle , because I am accepting the challenge ahead and the discomfort I will experience, since Ive made the step and proactively working on it the level of discomfort so far has not been excessive.

You just need to break the link or your mind will continue to impulsively think about watching it because it's a good source of stimulation and dopamine , when especially through times of boredom can seem like your just going to do it .

Break the link and you will be back to where you were again .

It's not the end of the world , you only feel this way because at the minute you feel it's hold .

Break the link , whatever it takes and you will not be burdened by the shit you are now

 

[Deleted Account]

Hello,


I’m sorry to hear that you are struggling. Rebooting has its ups and downs, just like life. We see many people experiencing both the ups and downs during the reboot, and though it may be hard to see now, these feelings you are having won’t last forever. It will get better with time, if you are patient and wait.


In the meantime, please seek professional help. I know the idea of calling a helpline might terrify you, but in times of crisis, we often need someone their to put our lives in perspective. So please contact someone who can help and don’t hang up on them. The International Association for Suicide Prevention maintains a list of suicide prevention hotlines for countries all over the world. Also, if you don’t feel up to actually talking to someone on the phone, StopSuicide maintains a list of online instant messaging and chat suicide prevention resources.


You are not alone in this. There are ways to treat depression. Please contact people that can help you. Being depressed often makes it feel like you don’t have any more options. But that is a lie. That is just the depression talking. These feelings you have won’t last forever. We are in this with you, and we will all be cheering for you to get through this!

- The moderation team

 

[hollyman]

Assalamu'alaikum brother, peace be upon you


first i experienced this kinda thing's including fap in Ramadhan and long streak failed

but to be honest fap in Ramadhan is the worse feeling if i can remember it. i know what it feels like

and for long streak issue, i once had a great streak (not 365 day's yet) its around 180 if i can remember, but i do getting some benefit including woman attraction which i regret so much. because i like her, i like the woman who attract to me. but relapse made everything screw up. i dont even have any guts to talk with her after the relapse (not in relationship yet but we kinda have a real good talk together)

and what follow after that long streak relapse is fucking catastrophe,i feel my benefit all gone, im so thirst on porn and i watch all my used to be favorite porn. it need almost 3-6 month to actually go back again and have a decent more than a week streaks.

i found that when i was relapse in long streak, its more like eat. u know there is a tradition in my office (which probably sin full act) after Ramadhan we go to a restaurant and we will eat so so many food. and ussualy we will eat so much even tho we already full but we eat anyway its like finding an oasis after walk in the desert , we cant control our self..


same as relapse, ur brain will force you to quench that thirst for porn with more and more porn even tho u already sick of it.

how to get back again.

first u must talk to god, ask forgiveness ask for help. u cant do this all alone, u fight with the devil u need god to win this fight. this is Ramadhan, month of forgiveness

second. u must forgive ur self. what done is done, u cant undone that. u want to cry, just cry its ok but forgive urself. u cant undone what in the past, but u can change the present

third. make plan. made a mini plan of streak's, like 7 day's, after 7 day do not relapse make a 14 day's target and so on. that way u will not have any weight in your shoulder on u must go back to 365 streaks


what country are u from brother ? im from Indonesia.... u can pm me tho if u wana ask someting.

hope it help

 

[Disaaas24]

Assalamu'alaikum brother, peace be upon you


first i experienced this kinda thing's including fap in Ramadhan and long streak failed

but to be honest fap in Ramadhan is the worse feeling if i can remember it. i know what it feels like

and for long streak issue, i once had a great streak (not 365 day's yet) its around 180 if i can remember, but i do getting some benefit including woman attraction which i regret so much. because i like her, i like the woman who attract to me. but relapse made everything screw up. i dont even have any guts to talk with her after the relapse (not in relationship yet but we kinda have a real good talk together)

and what follow after that long streak relapse is fucking catastrophe,i feel my benefit all gone, im so thirst on porn and i watch all my used to be favorite porn. it need almost 3-6 month to actually go back again and have a decent more than a week streaks.

i found that when i was relapse in long streak, its more like eat. u know there is a tradition in my office (which probably sin full act) after Ramadhan we go to a restaurant and we will eat so so many food. and ussualy we will eat so much even tho we already full but we eat anyway its like finding an oasis after walk in the desert , we cant control our self..


same as relapse, ur brain will force you to quench that thirst for porn with more and more porn even tho u already sick of it.

how to get back again.

first u must talk to god, ask forgiveness ask for help. u cant do this all alone, u fight with the devil u need god to win this fight. this is Ramadhan, month of forgiveness

second. u must forgive ur self. what done is done, u cant undone that. u want to cry, just cry its ok but forgive urself. u cant undone what in the past, but u can change the present

third. make plan. made a mini plan of streak's, like 7 day's, after 7 day do not relapse make a 14 day's target and so on. that way u will not have any weight in your shoulder on u must go back to 365 streaks


what country are u from brother ? im from Indonesia.... u can pm me tho if u wana ask someting.

hope it help

I really understand You trying to help me here bro and appreciate it
But why would God forgive me I already Fucked up twice in Ramadan man
In Ramadan.
And in the first time I asked for forgiveness time and time again
And I Fucked up again the second time
do what again ask for forgiveness
I fell like me asking for forgiveness is not even real
I just fell fucked up man

 

[Deleted Account]

I did nofap for the whole of 2019 I struggled with it little bit at the beginning but I managed to take of and go full 365+ days
It wasn’t nofap tho it was more like semen retention (no fucking women, no fapping,no porn) literally nothing just focusing on your shit
On those 365 days I saw every benefit you could imagine and you ever heard of

-stupid amount of women attraction literally girls would just look at me all day long from anywhere and everywhere and would literally shoot their shoot and ask for my # (but unfortunately my religion sex is not allowed without marriage so I would just turn them down + I was really focused on my shit)

-mental clarity

-motivation and insane amount of ambition
The ambition of more like when you are kid and you fell like you could do anything

- I even found out what the fuck I want to do in my life or my purpose

- a lot of energy
Etc.............

At the beginning of 2020 around January I fucked up really bad and I still regret it
I was like “it has been a year let me see how that shit is...”
I relapsed after a full year and felt really fuckn shit
And then I relapsed again and again and finally the whole month of March I didn’t not relapse
Then I fucked up again and again and again...
Until now I keep relapsing (15+ times in like 2 months)
This shit fucked up my mental health am even talking loudly to myself when people are not there ( I have never done that )
I fell like garbage, I have no energy
I basically fell like shit
And at the same time of writing this I relapsed just few minutes ago after three days of NoFap

And the most Fucked up about this is that I am a Muslim and very religious
(When I say very religious man
We pray 5 times a day every day & and am not even joking)
Fapping= very big sin in my religion
And the more even fucked up shit about this is that right now is Ramadan which means the
Holy month of our religion we fast all day and only eat at night
Even the most fucked up (who drink and smoke heavily) stop their sins at least for this month
And am fucking up at the worst time to the worst thing ever
And on top of that man I don’t even like fapping cuz I have premature ejaculation I literally last for 30 seconds or even less and am out. it’s unsatisfying or not enjoyable even at ejaculation cuz I fucking nut so fast
And I don’t even like porn cuz after those 30 seconds I don’t keep on watching porn

I lost all my benefits that I ever had ALL OF THEM and I fell like shit
Sometimes I be like “porn is gay why would I watch a man fuck a bitch while I stroke my dick”
“Why would I watch a bitch masturbate I wouldn’t even watch that irl”

I literally say that all day and I be like fuck porn. Fuck that shit man it ruined my whole life
And still end up releasing that same day

And I have an iPhone so I block all websites with screen time and I can’t see any nude pics even if I search for it and I locked it with a password

and I still keep on fucking relapsing even tho it’s literally not enjoyable and it’s only less than a minute for me.
I literally can’t hold my self from something that is less than a fucking Minute or even less than 30 seconds that causes me soo much pain and suffering and ruins my life
And I don’t even enjoy the fucking shit

I fell like I have no control over my self
I fell like I have no control over my life
I just fell like I want to die I literally don’t want to live anymore
(I will keep a 100% here one time after I relapsed I felt so bad I just Cried and I slapped the fuck outta my self for hundreds of times I literally abused and beat up my own self physically and I bruised my face)
This shit got me in so fuckn bad situation in my life that I am abusing my own self
It got me to really dark fuckn place
That I fell like I just want to die man and not live anymore
I know that if I continue like this my life is going to be miserable and shityy life
I fuckn know that man
But i still FUKCN Fuck up time and time again and the disturbing truth is it’s just for less than 30 seconds and I it’s not even enjoyable for me it fells like am peeing it’s really not even an orgasm because of how fast I cum and I still fuck up for that and suffer
I don’t want to live like this
I really just fuckn wanna die


Please if anyone had a very long streak and then relapsed very badly time and time again And you can relate somehow
Then please share how you got outta this shitty fuckn hole

I've had a pretty heavy addiction to porn especially for the last 6 months or so and for the life of me could not get past even 2 days , it does it makes you feel like shit, your constantly depleting yourself mentally and physically and turn into a waster because your focus is not were it should be .

Start again .

I've finally managed to get past a single day, and have built the mindset that this is it enough is enough , since then I sailed through the first day and have no insane urges to go back, it's done

Just start again . You can do it , you did it before , you can do it again . Just make it clear in your mind your starting today, have no lingering thoughts that hang on , where you aren't sure if you will relapse again , instil the mindset so that if any thoughts pop up you know to change your focus and do not let yourself slide down the impulsive route and think fuck it Ive been doing it yesterday even today I'll do it again and start tomorrow. You have to be clear , your ready to sit in discomfort in those moments and let them pass.

I know it's only day 2 for myself , but I've finally broken the cycle , because I am accepting the challenge ahead and the discomfort I will experience, since Ive made the step and proactively working on it the level of discomfort so far has not been excessive.

You just need to break the link or your mind will continue to impulsively think about watching it because it's a good source of stimulation and dopamine , when especially through times of boredom can seem like your just going to do it .

Break the link and you will be back to where you were again .

It's not the end of the world , you only feel this way because at the minute you feel it's hold .

Break the link , whatever it takes and you will not be burdened by the shit you are now

 

[hollyman]

But why would God forgive me I already Fucked up twice in Ramadan man
In Ramadan.

seem like u didnt read / understand my post carefully, u even did not answer my Salam...sad

just calm down and read some suggestion that ppl give to you and i say about forgive urself how can you even get on your own feet, if u fuck ur self like this... and who are u man dare to say why would god forgive you ? its god who decide not you , recite the Holly Qur'an, leme remind u again its Ramadhan month of Forgiveness

May Allah SWT Forgive us and give us strength towards this nofap journey



that my two cents btw

 

[Stupidbeginner]

Well my man Im a muslim too all the Muslims I know they fapp. Its not a big sin. Dont put pression and religious culpability on such thing because its stronger than you this addiction is heavier than cocaïne.
And yes please man in islam we say that Allah love stronger bbeliever than weaker believer. Assume your fault but dont think its a religious sin because its not.

 

[Fallacious D]

Ok so let's think about this rationally. You are struggling with porn addiction. What are your options? Continue to try to rid yourself of this addiction, or go back to watching porn. You already know that watching tons of porn will have bad consequences in your life, so that option is out of the picture. Continuing with NoFap has the potential to improve your life dramatically. Now - you still haven't been successful with NoFap, and that's fine. It's usually hard. But humans are clever - you need to find a smart way to motivate yourself and keep going. What motivates you is ultimately up to you.