I keep failing at meditation

I've started to use an app called Headspace which seems to be working for me

https://www.headspace.com/

 

There is no failing at meditation. What you are experiencing is completely normal and part of the practice.

Your mind will wander. That's what minds do. When you are meditating and become aware that your mind has wandered, don't get angry or frustrated. Gently acknowledge that your mind has wandered, and then draw your attention back to your breath. Just because your mind has wandered doesn't mean you have to quit. You are teaching your mind to be aware of when it has wandered.

As you continue to work at it, you probably will be able to stay in the moment for longer stretches. But even then there will be days when it is hard to do. But that's all part of it. Hang in there and stay with it. It's an invaluable tool in this battle.

 

For myself I could never meditate successfully until I cleaned my energy.
Now meditation is easy and enjoyable.
What I did was set the intention for my energy to be pure, to send back any thoughts, emotions, energies that did not belong to me. The second intention for me was to be present, calling back what energy is mine.
A good idea is to keep a pad and a pen handy to write down and sort thru particularly persistent feelings and beliefs.
It's a process that eventually you will get used to and you will be able to recognize why you feel what you feel and what it means. Once you know what a feeling means and understand it, it subsides to a controlable level and some feelings disappear forever. Also write down negative beliefs and change them into positives over time and you will feel a lot better.

 

Ha! Same for me man. Key is repetition. I can only meditate for 10-20 sec max before my mind starts racing. But those 10-20 seconds are enough when I'm feeling bad. Sure after them when my mind takes over again I may feel bad but then I just do it again and I feels less bad till the badness goes away.

 

When your mind wanders during meditation, you are still meditating. Recognizing that your mind has wandered and gently returning your focus to your breath is part of the practice. It is all about understanding that thoughts are transitory and learning how to let them pass by you. The objective is to increase the amount of time our minds can be still, but finding our way back to the stillness is part of meditation.

This is why meditation is such a great weapon in the war against PMO. The urges we feel are like thoughts. They are not us. They are not permanent. We can learn to let them pass by and return our attention to the present moment.

 

I do not meditate or engage in self-reflection very often. I started NoFap quite awhile ago and met goals - I haven't had a relapse since starting, no pmo p-subs or edging, still have sex with my wife - and it's better. I've lost 20lbs and a belt size from exercise and diet but here's my issue: It's like I've woken up and hate who I am. I WISH I could forget myself. I feel like I'm just this ball of sensuous nerves that reacts to everything and everyone and has an opinion about everything. My coworkers are mostly the silent or modest type and I have immense respect for them; but I hate having to acknowledge that I am the more reactive person in the office. It's polarizing. I feel like a fool. Even if I shut my mouth and try to isolate myself my mind wanders to selfish and self-loathing thoughts. I've realized that I will be remembered for being a spectacle and a guy that anyone can rile- and it really bothers me. I do not want to leave a legacy of mediocrity and self-concern and pity...but I feel like I have a long way to go to prove otherwise. I have love for myself but it's not like the world values that characteristic in anyone; or our culture. Here's the worst part: I have no idea why I'm writing this here. It's totally unrealistic for me to think that venting in a self-discipline forum will get me out of this and now I am starting to see how pitiful this comes across. I'm grateful for what NoFap did for me, but had no idea I would have to confront myself like this. I can probably sum this up by saying that I wish I had your problem right now.

 

Simply fake it for the first 10 breaths and then fake it again. Complete cheat and repeat.

 

Well done, Neil. That's what it's all about.