I keep falling down when the weekend starts

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by GorillaVikingwithaBLT, Mar 31, 2019.

  1. GorillaVikingwithaBLT

    GorillaVikingwithaBLT Fapstronaut

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    My biggest reason for why I do PMO is because of my loneliness. I'm a college student who commutes from home. I don't have any friends nor am I involved in anything outside of my academics. I go to a relatively small school and I searched and found that there either aren't any clubs that I like or they're just inactive. I haven't made a friend since I was 15; I'm 21 now.

    I become motivated since I'm around people at school and I get through my studies, but when Friday approaches, I tend to always give in. Back when I was 18, I did NoFap and usually had streaks that lasted from 2 weeks to a month, experiencing plenty of benefits, but it's only gotten harder since I'm more isolated in college. In college people are more on their own, doing their own thing and you have to 100% put yourself out there to make friends. I'm an introvert so it's really difficult for me. NoFap makes me social but I can't make it through a week so it's just an endless cycle.

    There's a girl I know and I heard that she likes me, but I refuse to ask her out or even approach until I can prove to myself that I can beat this addiction. The shame I have prevents me from going out. And me not going out causes me to keep PMO'ing. I can't seem to break the cycle. I'm not sure what to do...
     
    delhiboy likes this.
  2. elevate

    elevate Fapstronaut

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    It's called self sabotage.

    You could beat the PMO addiction, but it takes a lot of work... so fuck it.

    You could put yourself out there, try new things, and meet new people, but that's also difficult and uncertain... so fuck it.

    You could be with that girl, but that takes you out of your comfort zone and out of your routine... so fuck it.

    Your problem is that you favor short term emotions rather than long term outcomes. You want pleasure and comfort now instead of a better life in the future. You want to avoid discomfort and uncertainty now instead of ending this cycle. All that matters is how you feel right now... so fuck the future right?

    The longer you keep yourself in this cycle (yes, it's your responsibility) the harder it will be and you'll be creating a similar post 10-20-30 years later.

    It's nobody else's fault but your own and nobody else is going to do it for you. Saying it's too hard or making a list of excuses why you can't isn't going to cut it if you want a better life.
     
  3. GorillaVikingwithaBLT

    GorillaVikingwithaBLT Fapstronaut

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    Do you have any advice on how I can improve my willpower or whatever it is to break out?
     
  4. GorillaVikingwithaBLT

    GorillaVikingwithaBLT Fapstronaut

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    I guess the only thing I have to do is to stop searching for an alternative and suck it up and face these things head on. I just felt that it'd help to just get this message out there and hear what you guys think. I don't really know what else to say or do other than just doing it.
     
  5. Satr19

    Satr19 Fapstronaut

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    I have a lot of similarity to you, the more I am with people, the less I relapse.
    My greatest advice is to use your loneliness to improve yourself (learn a new language, read some book, do some course), which will make you more attractive to other people (especially girls), but above all to yourself.
    Do not worry that it takes time, because time will pass anyway.
     
    GorillaVikingwithaBLT likes this.
  6. Marik757

    Marik757 Fapstronaut

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    Get to know your classmates (both males & females). You want to build an small circle of friends first. Ask them what they do for fun and join them. Don't go in with the mindset of looking for an relationship. Work on getting comfortable around others. Let them know if your feeling nervous, or feeling uneasy. They too might be feeling the same way. If not it still shows openness and honesty.
     
    GorillaVikingwithaBLT likes this.
  7. elevate

    elevate Fapstronaut

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    The crucial moments that would change your life for the better... The things you know you should be doing to become the person you want to become and to have the life that you want to have... More often than not, in those moments you're not going to feel like doing it. It's scary, difficult, awkward, and it might not work. Reaching beyond your current place / competency / confidence level / comfort zone means you vulnerably risk getting hurt / failing / getting rejected / having a negative experience. This is why not a lot of people do it. This is why people prefer porn / tv / games / isolation / being a victim / procrastination.

    You can't wait until you feel like doing it. You haven't felt like doing it for most of your life. That's why you're at this point in your life.

    So no... it's not a willpower or motivation thing. It's up to you if you want to change your life. Up to you if it's worth risking the pain, problems, and negative experiences. The bigger the barrier the bigger the rewards. There's always porn and isolation waiting for you.
     
    skibum71 and ameliorate1 like this.
  8. Infrasapiens

    Infrasapiens Fapstronaut

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    I am going to be honest, I just came to this thread because of Megaman X. I love that game.
     
  9. delhiboy

    delhiboy Fapstronaut

    provide some solid reason to yourself for nofap.
    and no need to fight alone, all are fighting here, on the day of strong urge share here why you want to fap, keep writing until you cool down.
     
  10. delhiboy

    delhiboy Fapstronaut

    and one more thing, willpower is not going to come for something you want to do. it will come when you are determined. and taking active steps daily to better your life and feel good about yourself. when your whole life is fucked up and you want to bring will power to accomplish something, it is not going to help, and relapses would be recurrent.
    always stay strong.
     

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