I keep going back to homosexual porn...

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by Deleted Account, Sep 21, 2018.

  1. So I'm a young lad, 16 years old to be exact.
    And i'm just wondering, why would a straight man want to watch gay porn?
    It has been on my mind lately because I keep coming back to gay porn & I've been switching between gay and straight porn for over 2 years now :(
    It seems weird that things would escalate to the point where you have to watch gay P to get off.
    I also feel nervous when I masturbate to gay porn, it's like I shouldn't be doing it..
    Does anyone know why? I never got into extreme stuff, just gay porn and other straight fetishes. It seems weird because you'd think that things would escalate to more extreme but straight pornography. But it didn't for me, I watched straight P up to around 14 I believe (from the age of 10). I slowly got into blowjobs and well one thing led to another. Now I have to jack off to gay blowjobs to get my ultimate satisfaction but even then it feels completely wrong for me. I also find that I ejaculate way faster to gay porn than to straight porn, my balls tighten and I get nervous. Do you guys think i'm in denial? Or is this HOCD?
    I get thoughts of the actual gay porn, but never do I get thoughts of myself experiencing gay sex. I've been straight for as long as I can remember, I remember looking at a lot of women's butts & boobs when I was about 13 or so, and erections didn't seem to be a struggle. Now I never get erections when thinking of women, it's like I've completely desensitized myself to female nudity.
    What's up with me, is this just an addiction? I look at women in public, I never look at guys, and if I do then it is in no way sexual (I mean subconsciously sexual).
    I've been trying to go on nofap for awhile now but it doesn't work for me because I keep getting thoughts of gay pornos and that just makes me think that nofap will reveal myself as gay. Which frightens me.
    I'm only 16, shouldn't I be thinking of women? Shouldn't I be having crazy amounts of boners? I can't even get my wiener up if I look at naked women anymore, I have to touch myself to naked women.
    I really don't feel like I would be happy as a gay man, I'd love to get married to a pretty woman and make love and have a family one day. It just doesn't feel like my inner self is truly gay.
    Thank's for reading this! If anyone has went through a similar experience then please let me know. I would love to know if i'm the only one who has had this issue for so long.
    *I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST GAY PEOPLE, I JUST HATE NOT KNOWING MY OWN SEXUALITY*
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  2. Immature

    Immature Fapstronaut

    This is common. If you didn't have these feelings when you started porn, then leaving the porn away will likely make those feelings go away.

    Yes.

    Anxiety can actually increase dopamine secretion. You get anxious because you're not gay - but it gives you a bigger kick.

    See here: https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/search/node/HOCD
     
  3. Wow! Thanks for the reply.
    I've wondered why i'm so anxious and nervous when I view gay porn, it's slowly going away when I do it more often, but I try not to view gay porn that often but it's been nuts this past week :(
    Anyway, I'm gonna start nofap hard mode real soon, I just gotta keep myself motivated.
    And yes, when I started out I thought the idea of dudes having sex together was disgusting. I only wanted to watch straight porn back then
     
    Immature likes this.
  4. Nadav_co

    Nadav_co Fapstronaut

    122
    175
    43
    I will copy the exact same thing i wrote to a guy with your problem.
    "Just accept that it happened. accept it that you might be gay. there's nothing bad about it. The worst thing to do is to deny that you used to watch gay and trans P.
    Your'e not gay. but Your'e not straight. You are you. Stay away from definitions. Stop NOW! with P. P has messed up your brain. Regaining your brain might take a while, Time heals everything, give it all the time it takes, Don't try to find short cuts.
    Good luck with your new journey! We're all gonna make it :D"
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  5. Blade-rnr

    Blade-rnr Fapstronaut

    157
    199
    43
    This is correct, studies have shown that some people can develop homosexual feelings from watching gay porn but when they stop watching porn the homosexual feelings go away. This has also been proven for gay people who choose to watch straight porn... they'll develop heterosexual preferences but those disappear when they stop watching straight porn.
     
    jblaze129 and Deleted Account like this.
  6. SirErnest

    SirErnest Fapstronaut

    1,220
    11,461
    143
    Oh man it's a shame for me that young folk are even seeing pornography. Please remember that literally only a few years ago it wasn't even possible.
    You're young and don't even fully know who you are yet. Totally ok to be gay (if you even are, or bi) but at least take yourself away from the pornography for a while to get some perspective. Do your growing brain and body a favour.
    Good luck young man.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  7. WasZeusWrong?

    WasZeusWrong? Fapstronaut

    142
    264
    63
    Hi. I'm the opposite of you but maybe not so different! I'm an "old lad" and gay. When I was watching a lot of porn, almost half of it was porn with men and women, not just men. Did this make me bi? A closet straight? Who knows?

    I think you're on the right track. Quit the porn for a while. Especially at this time in your life when you're exploring and just now getting to know your sexuality (orientation-wise and otherwise too). Enjoy your young body by running or cycling or whatever you like to do. Meet people, all kinds of people. Flirt a little. Go out on dates. Don't give the porn producers/profiteers undue influence on who you are and who you'll become.

    As someone who didn't grow up with the Internet, I'm angry on your behalf that you have to cope with all this porn crap while dealing with the universal challenges (and excitements) of being 16.

    And please know that you don't have to "choose" a sexual orientation right now or even by the time you graduate high school. Questions can be more interesting than answers!

    :)
     
    SirErnest and Deleted Account like this.
  8. I had a similar situation but for me I couldn't watch porn if the guy didn't have a big dick .I kept wondering what's wrong with me but i realized porn is imagining yourself there. Porn is things and situation you see yourself in. Not to sound negative but maybe in the future you'll probably start running trains(gang bang) on chicks with your homeboy. Your at the rate of watching two men having sex your probably heading towards a thressome with your girlfriend.
     

Share This Page