I keep looking at women

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Kurmutziku, Jun 22, 2019.

  1. Kurmutziku

    Kurmutziku Fapstronaut

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    I haven't fapped in over a month but I still catch myself looking at pics of women on social media. Whenever I see a cute woman on the streets, I catch myself looking at their bodies. It might be because of the amount of testosterone building in my body. I'm still avoiding my responsibilities by watching random videos, playing video games, and aimlessly scrolling through social media. Is it possible I'm not getting the full effects of NoFap even if I'm not edging or releasing?
     
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  2. SirErnest

    SirErnest Fapstronaut
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    Yeah it's a good idea to stop staring at women. It makes them feel bad sometimes anyway, plus you reduce yourself by doing it.
    Look at/think about something else instead.
     
  3. Kurmutziku

    Kurmutziku Fapstronaut

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    Oh I make sure they don't see me looking at them but I get your point. I pretty much have to forget about women for now until I get my life straight.
     
  4. 7WolfOfWallStreet

    7WolfOfWallStreet Fapstronaut

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    You could use that <Extra> Testosterone into your goals , a new hobby or why not into gym .
     
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  5. Leonardo_001

    Leonardo_001 Fapstronaut

    I think the point where I’m weakest is when I have nothing to do. I don’t necessarily schedule everything for myself, but I always make a decision on what to do with my time. If I want to lay down and rest, I leave my phone and iPad out of the room and take a book in with me. I try to make decisions accounting for my weaknesses.

    As for not getting the full benefits. If you’re feeling that testosterone than you’re getting the benefits. You just got to decide to stop looking at women so much on the street and devote that energy into something you want to do. Not looking at beautiful women that you see in public or on the internet is a skill onto itself, but it’s trainable with time. Something that helped me is constantly telling myself “Whatever I picture doing with them in my head will never happen”.
     
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  6. Came here to say this. ^^ You *can* learn to bounce your eyes away from unhelpful artificial sexual stimulation.
     
  7. Infrasapiens

    Infrasapiens Fapstronaut

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    There is nothing wrong if you see an attractive woman in the street, the thing is knowing when to stop it. I think one or two seconds is enough, then look away (If you are single).
     
  8. FieryRocket

    FieryRocket Fapstronaut

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    Yea there's nothing wrong with looking at a woman in real life but try not to just endlessly stare at her, instead try to go up to her and start talking to her.
    I also encourage you to get rid of social media. It's hard to do. I did that with mine and I have been seeing great benefits of not having social media that is helping me on my journey such as I have more time in the day to do other hobbies or to get work done.
     
  9. Kurmutziku

    Kurmutziku Fapstronaut

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    My main issue is women on the internet, I'm pretty good at avoiding staring at beautiful women out and about.
     
  10. Kurmutziku

    Kurmutziku Fapstronaut

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    I don't really picture doing anything with women, I think it's the visual stimulation it gives me. Like I'm sure a lot of guys vision themselves with the woman but I just get a feeling of "wow" and that's it.
     
  11. Infrasapiens

    Infrasapiens Fapstronaut

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    That's even easier, just close the tab and watch other things.
     
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  12. Ainz

    Ainz Fapstronaut

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    Nice that you have managed 30 days...... Wait till you hit 90 days mark and then maybe you will be able to harness all benefits of nofap.
     
  13. Ainz

    Ainz Fapstronaut

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    I deleted my FB and Insta....... Before that it was even hard to reach 14 days mark but now its all quite good..... Maybe you should too. I know its too much asking but thinking that I will use those social media stuff only for few minutes instead of deleting is biggest mistake. When your urges will be high at some point, these internet stuffs will act like gasoline to your fire.
     
  14. marioa

    marioa Banned for Spam

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    You have to cut off this habit from your daily routine not just because it could lead to porn again but because firstly it's meaningless. Always put this in your mind "What's the point of looking at a woman whom you think she's sexy and you know you will NEVER have her!". Secondly it will ruin your intimate life. But how? well, when you keep looking at photos of woman "YOU think they're hot" then you will consistently keep comparing them with your partner (wife) and you could unfortunately reach a point where you find women who you think hotter than your wife and you will lose your wife whether she know or no and finally you will lose intimacy with her. So, in conclusion, even if it does not lead to PMO it's a terrible habit that you need to at least minimize it!
     
  15. Leonardo_001

    Leonardo_001 Fapstronaut

    Well do you think it’s coming from a place of lust or appreciation of beauty?
     
  16. ZenAF

    ZenAF Fapstronaut

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    It's not a good idea to suppress the instinct to stare at women. It produces insecurities and fear, because you want to look but you're telling yourself you're not supposed to. That's like treating women like royalty back in medieval times -> makes you insecure and afraid of them.
    Also any strong urge which is suppressed for a long period of time creates an irrational impulsive outburst at some point in time. Which is why people go on porn binge sprees when they relapse.
    How much energy does it take you to look at a hot chick? Are you burning calories while turning your eyes?
    You can also train yourself to instinctively bow every time you see a girl, might take you a while but you can learn it!
    It definitely won't if you tell yourself that.
    How is looking at a real woman artificial stimulation?
    Finally a man that talks some sense.
    The mental gymnastics and self-bullshitting you need to do in your head to even attempt to separate the two.
    That's so illogical I don't even know where to begin. How does looking at beautiful women in real life lead you to porn? Most normal guys can check out a hot chick without watching porn 2 hours later at home, how can that be if the two actions are even remotely related? Maybe because you watch porn because you're an addict, not because you saw a beautiful lady?
    The comparison argument is also, forgive me but, just naive. No matter who you date, you will always find someone out there who's just a little bit hotter, a little bit more to your taste, than your partner. But if you dated someone for longer than uhm, 5 minutes, you should've learned that there's more value in having an intimate relationship with someone than the level of perfection of their body. There's nothing wrong with looking at an another woman while you're in a relationship and thinking "Mh hot, I'd smash" and then moving on with your day. Have you ever come home to your girl after a day of seeing 50 hot chicks and then kept thinking about a particular one of them? Because I usually forget about them as soon as they're out of my sight.

    Recently I went to watch Cirque the Soleil with my girl (it's fantastic btw, go check them out if they're in your area). The people performing are mostly super jagged attractive young men who can do shit with their bodies I could never do. Don't you think I know my girl loves watching them? The notion that not a single lustful thought went through her head during the show is laughable! And it's fine! I'm glad she's enjoying herself. Just like she doesn't get angry or insecure when I check out a hot booty at the baths.
    We both know we wouldn't be together in the first place if we weren't sexually satisfied with each other.
     
  17. SirErnest

    SirErnest Fapstronaut
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    I just accept the initial, natural look that is inevitable, but then look away. Quite liberating. Works for me.
     
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  18. ZenAF

    ZenAF Fapstronaut

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    We can argue about whatever constitutes "staring", but that's pointless. Because in my experience it depends on the girl how long I look and I don't chastise myself when I look for more than two seconds.
    The only thing I agree with, even though it hasn't been formulated very clearly, is that it's not a good idea to start engaging in sexual fantasies when you see a girl. Because that makes you retreat into your head, losing touch with reality. But sexual fantasies aren't instinctual, they're voluntary.
     
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  19. SirErnest

    SirErnest Fapstronaut
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    Quite right.
     
  20. FormerFapaholic

    FormerFapaholic Fapstronaut

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    The first thing I'd suggest is to stop looking at women on social media. If there's anything to go by it, social media can harm and hinder your recovery altogether.

    There's nothing wrong with making a (quick) glance at a woman. Leeing or staring at them is creepy. But remember that they're people and not sex objects.
     
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