I know why I fap.

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Supremehokage, Aug 7, 2017.

  1. Supremehokage

    Supremehokage Fapstronaut

    I fap because I remain broken hearted. I lost the only woman I ever truly loved a long time ago. I've done so many stupid things to keep her memory alive that I find completely dishonorable. I tried courting her sister, her bestfriend,etc. I've tried to be with other women but as hard as I try I will always love that woman. No matter how hard I try if I'm ever in a close encounter with a woman. I'll say I'm sorry your not her. I need help can someone give me some advice?
    Wazzai likes this.
  2. snappedouttafap

    snappedouttafap Fapstronaut

    Let go. You're choosing to hold onto her and it's really unhealthy. No-one here but you can make that decision to "move on". For some reason, you're making the decision not to let go and then asking us how do I stop? Stop making the same decision.
    kropo82 likes this.
  3. vyndaloo

    vyndaloo Fapstronaut

    Hey Supremehokage, I think I have a similar story. I met her when I was 29 and truly fell in love for the first time in my life. We broke after two years, it was 3,5 years ago. Since then, I've slept maybe with 10 women and had a full relationship. But I still love and miss her. Keeping memories about our life together is the most precious thing I probably have. Everything seems so vivid and different, with a special scent of her laughter. It doesn't make any sense to be without her, she was destined to be my wife. At least in my eyes, she thinks something else and there's nothing I can do about it.

    I suggest you start small. Take steps towards making your life better. Eat better, dress better, exercise, improve your home. Go to therapy and talk about it. There's no reasoning out of this. You can't change what you feel. Talk about her while on therapy, think about what the relationship truly meant to you. When you start working towards a better life, your focus will gradually shift on yourself and your goals. You will start to enjoy your company, your friends and family. You will start to enjoy life in general. Right now, you probably need those memories. They give you hope. One day, maybe you decide you don't need the memories any more and you are ready to start a new chapter of your life.
    HealthyAbe likes this.
  4. HealthyAbe

    HealthyAbe Fapstronaut

    @Supremehokage :
    you ask for advice but it's very delicate in that field, since each situation is complex and unique.
    Anyway there's my two cents : whatever the situation was, is and will be, the best attitude you can have is not letting the pain and the sadness destroy you.
    Take lessons from the past, and fight to become YOU, but the strong and healthy you.
    Even if you still have a part of you that is broken, you always can be a man 100%.
    And perhaps that new you will have a discussion with the woman you mention, and it will be a part of the healing ?
  5. MarinoBigFan1984

    MarinoBigFan1984 Fapstronaut

    It's a coping mechanism for you.
    vyndaloo and Supremehokage like this.
  6. Supremehokage

    Supremehokage Fapstronaut

    Thank you my friend, ever since I started nofap ive strived to improve myself I've exercised and meditated consistently to better myself. I wish I never saw porn ever in my life. I fight on to eventually rid myself of this poison and find peace of mind. Carry on the struggle, never surrender.
  7. Supremehokage

    Supremehokage Fapstronaut

    I've come to the conclusion of that. Some people drink some smoke some do drugs I unfortunately fap and now I'm realizing I can't do this to myself anymore. I've gone 72 days and I refuse to give up now I'll carry on the struggle, never surrender.
  8. silenteagle

    silenteagle Fapstronaut

    Hey, you seem to be stuck into the past. Unless you let go of the past,you can never truly move on. After a couple years you will realize that its probably the best thing that has ever happened to you.
  9. time flies, bro. only time cures such things and many of us felt like you once or twice so just do your job and wait
  10. Alcyone

    Alcyone Guest

    When our soul feels tired and too lonely, and the heart is not enough to keep it company, it's easier to fall in sad fapping...
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 7, 2017
    Supremehokage likes this.
  11. Supremehokage

    Supremehokage Fapstronaut

  12. Marcus Oz

    Marcus Oz Fapstronaut

    Let go of her, get down to the deep root cause of why you are holding on, break it all down till you find the truth. Let go of her, do yoga, carry on seeking for help from us. The best way to let go of one thing is to hold onto another, grab onto your ambitions.

    Carry on working brother Hokage.

    Marcus(Not from the leaf village)
    Supremehokage likes this.
  13. DeProfundis

    DeProfundis Fapstronaut

    One day when you find another person you can love and devote yourself to, you will thank yourself for choosing to let go of the past. And you would not want to exchange that happiness for anything in your past. Try it!
  14. karth_vader

    karth_vader New Fapstronaut

    Just stay happy. Things are likely to get better.
  15. Alcyone

    Alcyone Guest

    Yes, prayer is a great consolation. But sometimes you can need to have near you a person in the flesh to hug to do loving things with each other, and prayer can't entirely replace that. There are those who prefer a life of prayer to affections on earth, but they are those who devote themselves to religious life and live in a convent. The Lord has not created everyone with the same inclinations, and that is precisely what makes each of us so unique and precious: so, someone chooses chastity, someone is forced to undergo it by vicissitudes of life.
  16. You may need to get rid of reminders of her - photos, emails, social media, presents she gave you..

    If you don't want to totally get rid of things, at least give them to someone for safe keeping - out of sight, out of mind.

    You could delete her from your social media or even delete some of your social media accounts or just make her totally invisible, block her updates etc.
  17. Alcyone

    Alcyone Guest

    And however she wasn't certainly the only beautiful, nice and lovely girl on earth. You would find many other girls like her, or even much better, if you would look around you and would not blinded by the memory of your past love.

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