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Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by FindingAName, Jun 26, 2017.
Rape has never interested me.
Apart from the fantasy about getting mauled and raped in public by an angry mob, preferably an angry, unreasonable third world mob.
Haha that's not for me. I'm into gangbanging scenes in P tho
Many years ago I fapped on some rape pornography but gladly I'm out of that shit now.
I'm not sexually attracted by it. I am attracted by the idea because a fundamental part of me feel that I am an unnatural entity and needs to be destroyed. This partially because boys (and later girls) at primary school tended to dislike me. I came to the conclusion that the reason must be that I am defect, and therefore needs to be destroyed.
Spoiler: Possibly triggering description
I fapped to an actual videotaped rape, recorded in a Venezuelan prison and showing a sod who was allegedly a pedophile. He was forced to walk around in thong panties, suck off a number of prisoners and later was raped by a line of prisoners. Then his head was cut off and placed on a pole.
I could still be on it
Cool. I'm into gore so I would like to watch
As long as you don't do it.
In America, there are many guys who are gun lovers but as long as they remain normal citizens without acting out their dangerous fantasies, it's fine.
I also enjoyed rape fantasies. I think this is an indicator of extreme sexual objectification of women. Like being able to consume some sort of product off the shelf. I see a cake, I take it, I eat it however I want.
I'm getting away from this.
lets think about this stuff for a second.
You're into rape fantasies. Cool deal, you now subscribe to one of the most common fantasies among human beings.
There are many factors that play into this thought. such as desensitization, media, and something kinda like what is called the Coolidge effect (you need more extremes to get the same feeling from sexual activity, technically not the actual definition), just to list a few of the many.
You have been told by society to define your worth through your masculinity. This involves hot women, money, and getting what you want when you want it.
Women are supposed to be innocent and weak according to a lot of our standards (ironic to porn addicts because we tend to expect slutty (thank you desensitization))
What you are talking about is a god complex. wanting absolute power. It is not uncommon, many men want this fantasy when they have deemed they will not get hot women, money, and getting what you want when you want it.
don't beat yourself up about it. With that said, never indulge in it without voluntary parties (true expressed consent people).
There is another factor you should look into with this as well.
A famous psychologist calls this the "imp of the mind". Your imp can be conditioned to bring up thoughts based on your regular mental intake. watch porn way to much, think sex everywhere you see. watch MMA or action too much, think aggressively everywhere you look. watch to much negative news, see negativity everywhere you look. The list goes on and on and on.
you're looking at probably consuming too much of porn and aggressive violent stuff.
Do not be alarmed by it. What has happened is you have lost touch with the true you. Do not Identify with your problem. You are a human who has inadvertently conditioned themselves into perversion. Your motivations for doing so are probably very pure and relatable, I.E. loneliness, boredom, etc...
If you identify with the thought, I.E. "I'm think I want to rape people so I must actually want to" then problems will start. Everyone has an Imp, let yours roam around in the back of your mind and accept it exists and it will not rule you. Do not try and kill it or overtake it, make sure it has a home in your brain.
Avoidance of a thought will only lead to more thinking about said thought. The imp will rule you if you try and kill it, it is way more powerful than you are. Many people get crazy OCD from trying to kill the imp.
an example would be moms not taking care of there babies because they have the thought of suffocating them cross there mind. They identify with said thought, then wont take care of there babies because they are afraid of themselves and that they might just do it. They would never do it, it's just bad thinking.
Keep moving forward man! you got this
I have a weird desire or curiosity to see a video of a guy raping a woman. I don't why, I know it's wrong and immoral but when I was addicted to PMO I would search before but didn't find any. Yep, I just let the idea at the back of my head and never let it rule my mind.
Morbid human curiosity is really common. Watch the train wreck but feel bad about how awesome you think it is while you do. It's the imp man.
Keep on moving forward! good thinking man
Thank you! I always thought I was a freak for having such morbid fantasies.
I add some more, one time I was so addict to porn that I searched on a P2P software pedo pornography out of curiosity, luckily I later changed my mind and erased the research, I never had pedo fantasies but the porn addiction was so strong that pushed me in researching weird things, porn is evil.
I often have rape fantasies too, but from the other way around. I don't know why, just more crap.
I do not have this kind of fantasy.
I have two responses, based on my own experience:
1. I am turned on by a related fantasy -- of being dominated, controlled, even mind-controlled, by a dominant man. I have invested a lot of time and energy into this fantasy over the years, and if I allow it, it can really get a grip on me.
2. Many times when I look at images, I am drawn to those that show intense reactions. At various times, I've realized, either at the moment, or upon later reflection, that I might well have been taking pleasure in images of someone being raped.
What I've found helps me is to try to unravel what it is about these things that pushes my buttons. That does help; it both takes a lot of power away from the images and the fantasy, as well as helping me understand myself better. My conclusion is that these things say something about what I believe I want or need, and what helps most is when I confront these assumptions directly: DO I really need or want what these images/fantasies suggest I do?
I can say more if you want. I held back because my particular "itch" is different from yours, so I didn't want to go on too long.
Here's an older related thread from the Partner Support folder... https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/violent-porn.79114/