I lost all my progress

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by captainteemo, Nov 21, 2021.

  1. captainteemo

    captainteemo Fapstronaut

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    First I want to say thank you to this this awesome community that supported me trough recovery I made a lot of progress two years ago and I went a maximum of 60 - 70 days PMO free.

    With Covid and the lockdown it was difficult to battle my inner demons and fight back against those urges I was sitting home all day with no contact from outside.
    Those times I was depressed and relapsed a lot after every relapse I would promise myself that the next time I will do it better but eventually I fail and beat myself bad for it with even more binging.

    My grades started to drop and I lost interest in everything from working out to studying and practicing my hobby's, it felt safe to just lay in my bed and keep relapsing the whole day. I was not seeking any discomfort anymore no cold showers not approaching people and talking to them I can't even look anyone in the eyes anymore.

    I don't know what I have to do to get back on the boat it feels like I'm drowning and drowning and eventually I will lose and give up on nofap

    It feels good to get this out of my chest thanks for reading.
     
  2. BigBallOfFire

    BigBallOfFire Fapstronaut

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    relapsed too. lets keep going,until we win
     
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  3. captainteemo

    captainteemo Fapstronaut

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    We will my friend we only truly fail when we completely give up, get straight back up you got this!!
     
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  4. Jack55

    Jack55 Fapstronaut

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    Same bro, the first week is always the hardest. I fully expect the porn scenes I've jerked off to will be the main urges I'll be facing this week. Knowing that thats the case, I'll be prepared. I'm not giving up!

    Day 1 Semen Retention and NoFap starts tomorrow.
     
  5. I felt the same too after relapsing yesterday.

    Day one again.
     
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  6. captainteemo

    captainteemo Fapstronaut

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    I'm starting to get pretty bad nightmare's, maybe its my brain resetting feels weird. I will keep posting
     
  7. rob_tn

    rob_tn Fapstronaut

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    With covid and lockdowns everywhere, I'm pretty sure that many people around the globe lost motivation and will to do anything, and like you said, the battle against our inner demons has become a lot harder on many people, including myself.
    But we've got to keep going and fighting!
    I'm not going to surrender to pmo that has screwed up my life so many times already!
     
  8. captainteemo

    captainteemo Fapstronaut

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    I agree, we have to find other ways even with lockdowns
     
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  9. Meshuga

    Meshuga Fapstronaut

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    I blew a 129 day streak a while ago. It's been a couple weeks, I'm still trying to get my feet back under me. Hopefully today is the first of another streak, but I don't know. We'll see. I'm saying I empathize. God, I know the struggle, the disappointment. The siren allure of relapse. I'm feeling it now.

    Your progress isn't lost, though. The days without P still have value. You hit a patch where life was unbearable, you got tired of fighting, and P got you through it. Maybe a reassessment is in order. Sounds like, with all the cold showers and all the meeting new people, you've been pretty hard on yourself. "Seeking discomfort," is the phrase and I'm not saying to stop completely. There's value in being uncomfortable. I know that first hand. You can't accomplish great things while staying comfortable, and we are men. We want to accomplish great things. There's such a thing as being too uncomfortable, though. You need some time to recharge. Allow yourself a warm shower once in a while, maybe, enjoy a quiet time where you don't approach strangers, perhaps. A wise man a long time ago said there is a time for everything, and I'm paraphrasing here, but a time to plant, a time to reap, a time to build, a time to destroy, a time to gather stones and a time to scatter them. Maybe for you, there's a time to be uncomfortable and adventurous and work on building yourself into a man who will accomplish great things, and a time to be comfortable and recharge, so you can do great things tomorrow. You can't accomplish great things without good tools, and your body and your psyche are tools. You have to take care of those tools.

    I don't know man, I hate it when people dump unsolicited advice on me, especially if it's not the kind of thing I was hoping to hear. If you need a Drill Sergeant to kick your ass I can do that, too. It's just, you posted in public so that seems like reaching out, and I'm trying to stay engaged with the community because I know that helps me, too.

    Stay strong
     
  10. James Sanchez

    James Sanchez Fapstronaut

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    Hi bro, what can I tell you?

    I've been falling all the time too, but don't feel so bad about relapsing, we all do it, you just have to get up and keep facing the pmo and life, I know it's not easy you just want to hide from this and maybe sleep everything the day, but I know you will wake up because you are here, you are posting how you feel, you are trying to get out of this, I know some who have already given up and personally I feel that they are people who are not worth it, you can achieve many things bro, You have attitude and a desire to continue, even if you are tired and want to stop, you must promise that you will not give up at least until you reach 30 or 90 or 120 days, (as many as you want) I honestly do not think you can do it if you already did before now you will too
     
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  11. Wugazi32

    Wugazi32 Fapstronaut

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    Find a real woman/fk buddy to help pass the time, will keep you off p0rn I think! I would have gone mad without sex during that first lockdown.
     
  12. captainteemo

    captainteemo Fapstronaut

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    Finding a women just to have sex with is not my way I'm sorry. What matter for me is that i like her and that there is a connection between us, same can be said about the opposite gender. You need someone who stands next to your side and support you with every move you make, through it is very hard to find such women in this time with all the new movements like femenism there are few out there.

    With sex you share your energy with the opposite gender, sex will then be a way of healing and a very Healthy way. But when there no connection you are just draining yourself of your vital essence.
     
    Last edited: Nov 30, 2021
  13. Rafafa

    Rafafa Fapstronaut

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    I changed my habits, i dont use internet so much, and go to gym, eat more normal food, leaved sugar and meat, drink more water and pray more and belieave that Jesus love me.
    I suggest you to train your mind praying in silent, with mind. So you can fight more agains the evil thinkings.

    LORD bless you and you will win.

    If you pass many time wathcing animes or tv, netflix, cinema etc, you knows that the girls will be half naked and have artifical body. So change your lifestyle.
     
  14. captainteemo

    captainteemo Fapstronaut

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    I totally agree with what you said i have been to hard on myself i need to take a break and get back up.

    Thanks for your post is really means alot!
     
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  15. captainteemo

    captainteemo Fapstronaut

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    To succeed in nofap we need to change our lifestyle for the better. Or whe will fallback
     
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  16. Wugazi32

    Wugazi32 Fapstronaut

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    Doing this too, even though I read lots of science fiction I've also been reading my Bible more too.

    And the only TV I watch now is old Doctor Who episodes. Modern TV is too triggering!

    Spend more time with friends, family, nature and doing exercise.
     
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  17. captainteemo

    captainteemo Fapstronaut

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    Today I almost slipped back what started as a sexual tumbnail on YouTube made me search for more i quickly realized the pattern and asked myself a question is this worth it do you always want to relapse what if later you are married and have kids do your kids want to see their dad as a failure or a role model.

    I quickly literally run out of my room let my phone laptop everything behind put on my running shoes and when for a run around the neighborhood the time that I was running I realized the mistakes I made.

    Please god give me the strength to defeat this evil addiction I'm nothing without your guidance.
     
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  18. Phoenix Beyond

    Phoenix Beyond Fapstronaut

    Relapsing into PMO is very much crap. Why add more crap to an already crappy pandemic? We should rather use this as a unique opportunity to introspect and become the best version of ourselves. Never ever give up. I'll stand by your side, each and every one of you.

    To Valhall!

    Nu!
     
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  19. captainteemo

    captainteemo Fapstronaut

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    Just had my wet dream and I'm super sad about it i could have controlled it like im used to do. Damn :(
     
  20. captainteemo

    captainteemo Fapstronaut

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    Failed after 16/17 days of no pmo I feel bad about it but I can't let that feeling bring me down again and lose all my progress.

    I cant binge I will get back up straight away and start my streak again.

    Mistake I made is not to follow my new habbits!
     
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