First I want to say thank you to this this awesome community that supported me trough recovery I made a lot of progress two years ago and I went a maximum of 60 - 70 days PMO free. With Covid and the lockdown it was difficult to battle my inner demons and fight back against those urges I was sitting home all day with no contact from outside. Those times I was depressed and relapsed a lot after every relapse I would promise myself that the next time I will do it better but eventually I fail and beat myself bad for it with even more binging. My grades started to drop and I lost interest in everything from working out to studying and practicing my hobby's, it felt safe to just lay in my bed and keep relapsing the whole day. I was not seeking any discomfort anymore no cold showers not approaching people and talking to them I can't even look anyone in the eyes anymore. I don't know what I have to do to get back on the boat it feels like I'm drowning and drowning and eventually I will lose and give up on nofap It feels good to get this out of my chest thanks for reading.