I lost interest in porn

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by MyMind07, Jun 23, 2020.

  1. MyMind07

    MyMind07 Fapstronaut

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    I am so grateful that I lost interest in porn. I don’t want to live a secret life. Porn just leaves me feeling empty. Porn is one-dimensional and boring for me. The women in porn just seem unreal. The focus on penetration and orgasm is so unsexy. Hard-core is purely animalistic, there is no emotions involved. I don’t want to have sex with my computer, but have sex with real women in real life.

    I am now only interested in real women in real life. I am so attracted to women in real-life. I notice the beauty in women: their beautiful smile, nice hair, their smell, beautiful eyes, their femininity, beautiful nails, beautiful soft skin. I look women in the eyes, not a computer screen. I am not constantly focused on women either. I focus on my own life, my growth, my goals, mission and passion in life.

    It took time and hard work to be here where I am now today. I went in rehab 3 years ago for sex addiction (masturbation, porn, prostitutes, swingerclubs, sexparties). At the time I had a streak of 16 months. After that I relapsed 5 or 6 times, I got back up immediately, but I know that I won’t relapse anymore. My WHY is too strong to relapse. My urges are almost completely gone. I find porn so boring. My brain is completely rewired. I have so many blocks on my smartphone, macbook, router, that it is impossible for me to watch porn.

    I have gone through heavy withdrawal symptoms and flatline (anxiety, panic attacks, depression, irritability, anger, nausea etc.) to be where I am now today. I fighted all of that, all of the urges and keep the fight. It was all worth it. I went to many therapies for my underlying problems, read many books that helped me. I wanted it so badly, did everything to break free from porn and sex addiction, took my responsibility and that’s why I succeed.

    I don’t surround myself anymore with people that are constantly relapsing, because that is so demotivating to hear all of those excuses. It doesn't helps me any further. It will work against me. Relapse is just a choice, nobody is a victim. I let people now take their own responsibility.

    I crave emotional connection with a healthy women, want to date women and have healthy sex with them. That will be my next step.

    What I have learned over the years: Freedom is one day at a time. This works best for me. It gives me way less stress. It is more doable to focus on small goals. I don’t focus on NoFap, recovery or else anymore. Constantly focusing on not watching porn and masturbating = brain letting thinking of porn/fap. I let it all behind me. When I have an urge, I just say; Not now or Not Today. I don’t have to think about getting a streak, 90 days, 1 year, 5 year etc. It will come automatically when i stay free everyday. I don't count the days, but let the days count.

    Matt Fradd says it beautifully in his book The Porn Myth:
     
    Last edited: Jun 23, 2020
  2. Good to hear of your situation after what you have gone through man. I hope to do the same.
     
    thinking_differently likes this.
  3. Aaron4545

    Aaron4545 Fapstronaut

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    i really relate alot to what u said .. and it's really good to know u are not alone. i hope u stay forever free.. and i just finished a book about pornography called pno Allen Carr's Easy Way to Stop Smoking it is the best one i read till now so definetly definitely recommend it if u want...and i would like to read anew one so if u have any recommendations could u share it with me.
     
  4. MyMind07

    MyMind07 Fapstronaut

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    I have read the books: The Porn Trap, The Porn Myth, Your Brain on Porn, The addicted brain and how to be free (from Hyla Cass), The Ultramind Solution (for healty eating against anxiety, depression etc.).
     
  5. k123

    k123 Fapstronaut

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    Well done man. Hopefully many of us can achieve what you have achieved.
     
  6. Drambuie

    Drambuie Fapstronaut

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    well put advice. Getting through each day on its own. I get so obsessed that i count each hour that i end up relapsing 36 or 48 hours later. My biggest streak ever was 30 days at the start of college in 2003. At one point each day was easy. I fell hard for a girl and havent been the same since. Ive been trying lately and i like your way of thinking. Thanks
     
    iluvfreedom likes this.
  7. Hi MyMind,
    what a wonderful post. I have the book by Matt Fraad you quote from. I have not read it though. Actually I had intended, with may other books, to give it to a charity shop.

    But not now, I will read it instead. You are certainly correct when you label "unreal." I am a lapsed Catholic. However the Church is very wise when it comes to porn. Please see its Catechism at 2354. If you enter "Catholic Catechism 2354" into an internet search engine, you can read it.

    Good luck pal!
     
    Paramount likes this.
  8. ahmed_jimmie

    ahmed_jimmie Fapstronaut

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    12 hours to my 30th day and yeah everything here is just so relevant. It's surreal how I changed for good after so much of struggle. It's just the difference of winning a lottery and becoming filthy rich overnight vs earning everything overtime after many stoops.
     
    iluvfreedom likes this.
  9. Aaron4545

    Aaron4545 Fapstronaut

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    thank u .. could u suggest one or two books to start with necause im really overwhelmed with all that at single time
     
    Last edited: Jun 23, 2020
  10. Powerous

    Powerous Fapstronaut

    Man this was very nice to read, congrats, keep it up. It really resonates with me and motivates me.
     
  11. MyMind07

    MyMind07 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for your comment. I am not interested in religion. I was a Muslim and am glad that I am free of it. Religion doesn't benefit me.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  12. Liven

    Liven Fapstronaut

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    I can relate so much to this, it's get on your mind and the only thing i think about. I gotten to the point where im no longer in the present when im with people, i think about this. It's not good for you at all.

    The daycounting is mabye a tool, since your aiming for a new free life without it. If your counting days it like it's its going to end, there is no finnish line here.

    "It is not the movement of the clock that producess the newnewss of life, it's the movement in your mind"
     
  13. Josphat

    Josphat Fapstronaut

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    Nice, I never knew there existed such a canon in Catholic. So good to have canons but practicing them isanother issue.
     
  14. ayanaambe115

    ayanaambe115 Fapstronaut

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    Well explained post, and it's educative as well. Thanks no more to go back to P for both and all of us.
     
  15. ayanaambe115

    ayanaambe115 Fapstronaut

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    Powerous
    Very interesting quote
     
  16. Dave227

    Dave227 Fapstronaut

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    This is inspirational to me cause I want to be free from knowing that you can do it I can do this to. Congratulations on your accomplishment from quitting keep it up for life to be free.
     
  17. HI Josphat,
    the Catechism if brimming full of such wisdom. Such clear instructions appeal to the better parts of our natures. It does not infantalise us by saying we are helpless. Or that we must rely on the strength of a higher power.
    The strength to abstain from PMO is within us all. You are correct about following the advice we are given from such resources. Knowing something and doing it are separate issues. Action must be taken to make good intentions a reality!
    Good luck!
     
    Paramount likes this.
  18. Ronzon

    Ronzon Fapstronaut

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    Good going man, keep it up!
    If I may ask, what is your why?
     
  19. MyMind07

    MyMind07 Fapstronaut

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    I was so addicted to it. I wasted so many time on it. I couldn't go without it.
    I had social anxiety, depression, self-hate, lived very isolated, lost all friends because there came a time that I rather did PMO than hanging out with friends. Porn became more extreme. I needed extreme videos (abuse, humiliation, brutal, forced etc.) to feel aroused and I felt very ashamed of that. I know that it wasn't right and I wanted to stop so badly.

    Everything that I saw in porn, I wanted to experience in real life. I thought that was the "good life" if I can have that sex like in porn. So I went to prostitutes, swinger clubs and sex parties (gangbangs, orgies). I never had a gf. I didn't dare to ask them out, to approach them. The more I watched porn, the more I became socially awkward. I was very insecure.

    I am more happy now, very grateful for everything. I want to become more comfortable with sex, talking about sex, dating women. PMO left me always with shame about sexuality.
    I want real intimacy, meeting some women, able to talk more with women. I want to have friends, have a passionate life.

    So, PMO is no part of my life anymore.
     
  20. justinjohn

    justinjohn Fapstronaut

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    thanks man to sharing it inshallah one day i will also exactly like you
     

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