I know that this forum is about dating during a reboot, which could prove to be quite difficult, but I just wanted to flesh out some feelings right quick. I love my girlfriend. She’s probably the most solid woman that I’ve ever met outside of my mom and my sisters. She really cares about me, and I hate to admit that I’ve done awful things to her, and everyday I think about why she hasn’t left me yet. We had an argument and my anger and frustration got so bad, that when I tried to apologize, she said she had enough. And we broke up. It wasn’t the fact that she said she had enough me, it was the fact that she said, choking back tears, “I just want you to get some help.” At that point, we decided to start over. For really this time. I’ll be honest, I’m getting misty eyed just writing this, and with my face being soaked in my own tears and snot, I knew that I screwed up. Big time. NoFap may not be the only kind of help I need, but I do feel like it would at least help me be better for her. I’m not trying to play the victim, I know I’ve done horrible things and I truly don’t deserve her. But she has stuck by me thus far. It’s been four years. Most relationships that I’ve seen have only lasted two or three years. It’s been 22 days thus far without PMO, and I’ve been thinking more clearly, and I had time to think about the things I’ve done and how I can make them better. A couple of days ago, I was having a tough time controlling my urges, and one of the things on my mind was just having sex with her. Now, the urges have slowed down, and now all I want to do is be around her. Of course I would want to have sex with her still, but I’m also even more in tune with just enjoying her company. She moved away for school, so we’re doing long distance, so you can imagine how difficult it is. I just wanna get my head straight for her.