I(M27) met my exgf. (20) after about 8 months again, and this happend ...

So i started working again, got stronger, and learned mentally a lot.

So I visited my friends and the parents of my exgf (20). She new from her parents that I would come and asked if she could also come. Her parents did not knew how to react. They said they were unsure and told me nothing until the day I was there, I thought she would not even bother if I am at her city. By the way after one month of breakt up she already had another bf. Some she met while we were together.

While driving 1,5 hours to the city, old memories came up, like waves on a motion, happy and sad ones. At her parents house I ate with them and then with them and friends we went for a walk in nature. And again many emtions came and went by. I was happy and nostalgic at the same time. But I could cope with it. It was great for me because it showed me how great my progress was.

Then in the evening she asked if she can come, I said to her parents I don´t care. In the imagination to see her again my heart beat went up. But when she rang on the door, I said to the parents that I will open the door. She was nervous and shuttered, and I she changed as I did. I said come in, you want tea? And i hugged her. Then after a minute: Come on I will hug you again, we did not see each other a while. She did not bother.

We sat on the couch and talked. How I was doing, my new job, my heath and so on. I made jokes, kid her and there things started to get strange: She started to tickle me, and behaved, like nothing happend. Well I behaved the same. And while we were standing she hugged me again and said: God did I missed that.

And that was the first confusion, doesnt she have a bf, why does she missed my hugs? Honestly her hugs are good, she has big boobs and its always lovely and soft . As we talked I also told what happend and how I changed. She lost weight and I asked her if I could lift her up. She allowed it, and I could even spank her ass. I was confused that she allowed all of that. Her parents were also confused.

After we were eating, she sat on the couch and pointed to sit on her side. She swung her legs over mine , putted a blanket over us and cuddles with me, she still has an album of our pictures where we were toghether, even holding hands. I was kinda enjoying it, it felt good, the way she smelled and so on. And she cried, I apologize for my mistakes. She said that she forgives me.

I drove home, her father asked her how it was for her, she said: I can´t believe that he got so good over that.

Well in my case I talked a lot with friends and cried.

Now I am confused by her.

 

No I don`t want to date a cheater. I just wanted to know, how much my progress was, and it was great. Now everything is fine. She will even marry him. He made her a proposal after she connected with me. Good for me.

 

Other friends were also angry with me, that I let her this close to me. After that I felt shame and regretted it. After that I changed my attidute, they want to marry, so I don`t will disturb their relationship. This is my desicion.
And by crying I meant the past. She is not over the relationship, I am. I talked a lot about it with friends and cried a lot, that helped. She did not do it.

And yeah, I still often think with my penis, it gets better now. I read a new document, about 25 % finished to fight of porn in an easy way. And it helps. I will become one day a good and faithful husband, without porn beeing in the way.

 

How come, well, I live about 2 hours away from her. So the distance kept me safe. And especially on this week, was working an hour away from her. It was the same road I needed to drive, to get to her. ( I am an elctrical guy, and I pull
electric lines for a company that makes baby food). SO many thought and feelings came up. And I just wanted to know, how much I progressed. And I did a lot. For this part I am proud of myself.

I told the story my coworkes and my familiy members. My coworkes said I should be happy, that she is not my gf anymore. And my family members were angry, of the same reason as you wrote down. First I did not care, because her bf also knew she was in a relationship, and did not bother, so why should I respect his feelings for her?

And after a while I thought about it and came to the conclusion that this is not good. So i continue to keep my distance and keep fixing my life.

 

I honestly think, If I would have spend more time with her regulary, she would have had sex with me. But I don´t want that. Or my self worth would sink a lot.