I(M27) met my exgf. (20) after about 8 months again, and this happend ...

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by Jonny1992, Mar 9, 2021.

  1. Jonny1992

    Jonny1992 Fapstronaut

    So i started working again, got stronger, and learned mentally a lot.

    So I visited my friends and the parents of my exgf (20). She new from her parents that I would come and asked if she could also come. Her parents did not knew how to react. They said they were unsure and told me nothing until the day I was there, I thought she would not even bother if I am at her city. By the way after one month of breakt up she already had another bf. Some she met while we were together.

    While driving 1,5 hours to the city, old memories came up, like waves on a motion, happy and sad ones. At her parents house I ate with them and then with them and friends we went for a walk in nature. And again many emtions came and went by. I was happy and nostalgic at the same time. But I could cope with it. It was great for me because it showed me how great my progress was.

    Then in the evening she asked if she can come, I said to her parents I don´t care. In the imagination to see her again my heart beat went up. But when she rang on the door, I said to the parents that I will open the door. She was nervous and shuttered, and I she changed as I did. I said come in, you want tea? And i hugged her. Then after a minute: Come on I will hug you again, we did not see each other a while. She did not bother.

    We sat on the couch and talked. How I was doing, my new job, my heath and so on. I made jokes, kid her and there things started to get strange: She started to tickle me, and behaved, like nothing happend. Well I behaved the same. And while we were standing she hugged me again and said: God did I missed that.

    And that was the first confusion, doesnt she have a bf, why does she missed my hugs? Honestly her hugs are good, she has big boobs and its always lovely and soft :D. As we talked I also told what happend and how I changed. She lost weight and I asked her if I could lift her up. She allowed it, and I could even spank her ass. I was confused that she allowed all of that. Her parents were also confused.

    After we were eating, she sat on the couch and pointed to sit on her side. She swung her legs over mine , putted a blanket over us and cuddles with me, she still has an album of our pictures where we were toghether, even holding hands. I was kinda enjoying it, it felt good, the way she smelled and so on. And she cried, I apologize for my mistakes. She said that she forgives me.

    I drove home, her father asked her how it was for her, she said: I can´t believe that he got so good over that.

    Well in my case I talked a lot with friends and cried.

    Now I am confused by her.
  2. p1n1983

    p1n1983 Fapstronaut

    I remember your story.. she "cheated" on you with her current boyfriend. You did everything to make her happy and she pay you by going out with this other guy.
    Now that you are better, and probably the other guy is turning her off.. she is interested to see you and see how are you doing. Maybe she can dump his current boyfriend and go back with you.
    You met and she liked what she sees. She can recongnize that you are doing it really better and get instatly interested in you and naturally start to flirt with you been funny, giving hugs, cuddling, lletting you lifting her up, spunking her like you were her man.

    But remember... she cheated on you before with this guy. Now she is flirting and cuddling and touching with you despite she had a boyfriend! Once a cheater.. always a cheater. Do you want to date a cheater? she is one. She is showing that to you with flourecent ligths. She is not relationship material at all, she just don't have integrity, onces her needs are not met in a relationship she aligns the next guy to date and cheat.
    Hurt my eyes to read this... you treat her like gold and she payed you by cheating on you. You are still thinking that you are the one to blame for that. She is the one that need to appologyce to you, not the other way around.
    Please, please, please... get this woman out of your system and life. You are getting better, don't let this woman get back in your life, she is bad news. You deserve a woman that has integrity, she is not.
  3. modern milarepa

    modern milarepa Fapstronaut

    She was talking to other man while you were together and in less of a month already being boyfriend of the other guy. Well it looks like she didn't love you at all.

    I don't know if she cheated on you but all that touching with you while being in a relationship you should not allow it. Don't do what you don't want others to do.

    Also it seems you are thinking with your emotions and your penis. To the point of crying your are just not being rational and not seeing things with clarity.

    As I see it the girl has weird relationship fidelity.

    Ask people close to you what they think about her it will give you also a clean unbiased opinion of the situation
    Saladbowl and Jonny1992 like this.
  4. Brettnrecovery

    Brettnrecovery Fapstronaut

  5. Divine By Design

    Divine By Design Fapstronaut

    This. You need to dodge this bullet as if it were fired from a howitzer. Otherwise this will eventually come back and bite you in the rear in the future, when she decides to go off and do the same with someone else while in a relationship with you. She's literally broadcasting to you that she's OK with doing that.
  6. Jonny1992

    Jonny1992 Fapstronaut

  7. Jonny1992

    Jonny1992 Fapstronaut

    No I don`t want to date a cheater. I just wanted to know, how much my progress was, and it was great. Now everything is fine. She will even marry him. He made her a proposal after she connected with me. Good for me.
  8. Jonny1992

    Jonny1992 Fapstronaut

    Other friends were also angry with me, that I let her this close to me. After that I felt shame and regretted it. After that I changed my attidute, they want to marry, so I don`t will disturb their relationship. This is my desicion.
    And by crying I meant the past. She is not over the relationship, I am. I talked a lot about it with friends and cried a lot, that helped. She did not do it.

    And yeah, I still often think with my penis, it gets better now. I read a new document, about 25 % finished to fight of porn in an easy way. And it helps. I will become one day a good and faithful husband, without porn beeing in the way.
  9. Jonny1992

    Jonny1992 Fapstronaut

    How come, well, I live about 2 hours away from her. So the distance kept me safe. And especially on this week, was working an hour away from her. It was the same road I needed to drive, to get to her. ( I am an elctrical guy, and I pull
    electric lines for a company that makes baby food). SO many thought and feelings came up. And I just wanted to know, how much I progressed. And I did a lot. For this part I am proud of myself.

    I told the story my coworkes and my familiy members. My coworkes said I should be happy, that she is not my gf anymore. And my family members were angry, of the same reason as you wrote down. First I did not care, because her bf also knew she was in a relationship, and did not bother, so why should I respect his feelings for her?

    And after a while I thought about it and came to the conclusion that this is not good. So i continue to keep my distance and keep fixing my life.
    Roady likes this.
  10. Jonny1992

    Jonny1992 Fapstronaut

    I honestly think, If I would have spend more time with her regulary, she would have had sex with me. But I don´t want that. Or my self worth would sink a lot.
  11. PanteriMauzer

    PanteriMauzer Fapstronaut

    Jonny1992 likes this.
  12. Sounds sus, my guy. I'm glad you got bigger, changed, become a chad of your own right, but some tings gotta go. I understand that she dipped on ya to mess with other dudes? I wouldn't trust that. I hope you make the right choice in your case.
    Jonny1992 likes this.
  13. Red flags all over that girl. I know how hard it is to cut off people who were once important to you - but this is what needs to be done.
    Don't just "keep the distance", don't let her linger in your daily thoughts. Cut. Her. Off.

    + I try to avoid women who are that much younger than me. There is a big mentality difference, especially if she's only 20. People mature a lot between 20-25 - figure out what they want, get more realistic about their life, hopefully, establish some personal values etc.
    If she would be 27 and you would 34 then it wouldn't matter.

    Wishing you all the best man!
    Jonny1992 likes this.

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