I made it! Day 90 reached!

Day 90. I made it, I made it! Great!

I made it, so can you!

Here's my story. I had been hooked to P for more than 20 years, and my sexual life was a complete mess. I had PIED and suffered gay HOCD, I even acted out, and I was so confused. I didn't dare date a girl for many years. I felt old (I'm 37), and that it was too late for me to change. Right now, I can assure you those issues are over. I still get urges (but very weak, and only from time to time, and I can control them without problems; they are getting weaker and weaker, I bet they'll fade away soon), my erections are the best ones of my life, and I overcomed gay HOCD (I'm straight).

This week I'm meeting a girl just for coffee. Let's see if it works. The important thing is I'm back in the game, and feeling more powerful than ever. I got the control of my life back.

I didn't know P could be so harmful. A year ago I realized I had a problem with it. It controlled me, specially sex chatting. I tried to quit on my own, with half-heartedly efforts. I noticed the withdrawals, and I knew my problem was huge. I was like an alcoholic.

I read 3 books that were very helpful: "Breaking the Cycle", by George N. Collins, "The Porn Trap", by Wendy Maltz and Larry Maltz, and "Your Brain on Porn", by Gary Wilson. I recommend all of them. There is little overlapping, and you'll learn a big deal. You are sick, now you just need to get cured.

This article helped a lot: http://healthysex.com/self-help-articles/the-maltz-hierarchy-of-sexual-interaction/. It's by Wendi Maltz, and it tells you what you need to look for in sex. Sex has to be something spiritual, that makes you whole, not a compulsion.

Last september I joined in here. I couldn't do it on my own, but I thought that posting here would make me take the challenge more seriously. I kept trying things, until I finally found what worked for me. But the most important thing was I was determined to beat this shit, no matter what.

I got and P-blocker (Qustodio), I got an AP, I paid a monthly fee to be here (it forced me to take it seriously, because the longer I stayed here, the more I paid). If those things fail, I would try NoFap Academy (https://www.nofapacademy.com/), and then, Compulsion Solutions (http://compulsionsolutions.com/sex-and-porn-addicts/). But I didn't need those two.

I realized I couldn't cope with all the challenges, so I divided them and tackled one at a time. I needed to reached day 90 of no P, and if I relapsed with sex chatting, it didn't matter. I reached that day, and I tackled sex chatting. That was my real challenge. I haven't watch any P for more than 5 month, and I don't miss it. Day 90 is for sex chatting (hooked for almost 15 years).

I couldn't beat the urges with willpower, so I used hypnosis. I'm a huge fan of hypnosis. I used https://hypnosis.wendi.com/collecti...-porn-addiction-hypnosis-mp3-by-wendi-friesen and http://www.hypnosisdownloads.com/hypnosis-packs/sex-obsession. They made the urges manageable.

I found a helpful course on Spotify: The Mindful Habit System.

To beat the intrusive thoughts, when I masturbated (once a week or so), lying in bed, I thought of the girl I'm meeting this week, making love to her. If anything similar to P cropped up in my mind, I'd let the thought go, and begin again.

This challenge is very hard. At the beginning was HELL. As much as I like NoFap, don't take it as a place to hang out, but a place that forces you to make it.

For your success, guys! Keep trying and trying, never giving up, and you'll be telling your success story soon.

 

Thanks for all the likes and comments I received after I reached the milestone. I'm glad my story inspired so many people. Yes guys, you can make it too. I can't stress enough how hard this was at the beginning, and how many times I relapsed. It was as if I was possessed, triggers and urges were stronger than me. Now, I'm cured. No urges, no triggers, no struggles to keep away from P. What a difference 90 days make! Brain rewired.

I think to beat this shit you need two things: make a commitment (you'll succeed, no matter what, no matter how many times you relapse, no matter how long it'll take; get up, try something new, and try again, until you make it) and have a strong motivation to do so, to have your "why".

In my case, my first motivation was to fix my caotic sexual life (PIED, gay HOCD, some acting out, hooked on P and chats), and then, to be able to love. My ability to love someone was blocked. And then, and that was my strongerst "why", I wanted to date a girl I fancy. I met her last October, in a course we are doing, and I thought I needed to be fine before the summer, that's when the course ends.

I met that girl last Thurstday. Just for coffee. It was good. As you can imagine, my dating skills are very rusty. But there weren't any awkward silences, I didn't have a heart attack. We chatted and had a good time. Now I need to give her some hints that I want to be more that just a friend.

I don't know if it'll work out at the end (I hope it does, she's so cute), but I'm happy because I'm doing something I couldn't do not long ago. I don't want to rush, I don't want to be a pick-up artist, I don't want to have one night stands. I want to fall in love with a girl and have a proper relationship.

Make a commitment, find your "why", and you'll be on your way to success.

I wish all all the best. I hope to read your succees stories soon.