I masturbated today after 102 days

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Deleted Account, Dec 12, 2017.

  1. It's always been white! I dunno I didn't really look at it!
     
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  2. Trips

    Trips Fapstronaut

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    The most important thing is to be honest with yourself and move on. If you feel it was a failure, or a misstep, be honest about it in front of yourself. No reason to try to bullshit yourself in the sense that "oh, it's nothing," your feelings don't lie...

    But after admitting a mistake, it's time to move on and not dwell on it. Like someone above said, you're going to feel better after a few days.

    Keep it up, 100 days is impressive!
     
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  3. Exactly, I fucked up and shit happens. I thought I was ready for it and I wasn't.
     
  4. Trips

    Trips Fapstronaut

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    I'm kinda curious whether we will ever be "ready". I think of the late actor Phillip Seymour Hoffman in instances like this. Dude was clean off heroin for circa 20 years and then relapsed and the relapse led to his death. I can imagine him thinking he can do it once.

    I also remember Anthony Keidis from Red Hot Chilli Peppers writing in his book how he relapsed after he was clean for a long, long time. How he felt "cozy" and "at home" with his drug of choice, how familiar and good it felt that he just wanted to keep the feeling.

    I think addiction forms some kind of shortcut in the brain, some muscle memory thing and it will never go completely away. It can sleep and be pushed back, but if you give your brain a taste of it even 10 years later, it will probably jump on it like a wild, salivating beast.

    Granted, drugs these guys have been doing and P and M are different things. But the high created from P and M is so addictive because it's inherent to us as human beings. We need to be sexual and like sex. So of course we get addicted to things that create an enormous sexual high.
     
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  5. TimeToQuitNow

    TimeToQuitNow Fapstronaut

    You made it to over 100 days once. You'll do it again in no time ;)
     
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  6. major congrats on your achieving 103 PMO free days!
    iam curious what made you decide to have the first MO?

    i also had a MO after 90d. following day did it again.
    for me might be anyone (or combination) of the following:

    -not managing stress as best as i could have
    -rewarding myself for achieving my goal of 90
    -not planning better for and knowing what id do after reaching 90
    -yoga videos i was watching may have been a trigger
    (attractive female instructor) tho ive watched many
    yoga videos in the past and they hadn't effected my yoga practice.
     
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  7. Thomas Pawlowski

    Thomas Pawlowski Fapstronaut

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    Don't feel too bad. I've only been addicted to it for a year and I keep failing when I get to the 5 day mark. So good job! I think the best thing to do is put it behind you. You made it 90 days, time to beat that number.
     
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  8. Physicist

    Physicist Fapstronaut

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    guys cant go without day. you went 100 days, be proud.

    the cumulative effect adds up. dont feel too bad and carry on as normal
     
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  9. thanks man
     
  10. thanks buddy!
     
  11. I still haven't watched porn which I'm happy about, but a part of me wishes I didn't masturbate without it. Oh well hindsight is 20/20
     
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  12. honestly man, I was just bored. And to me I felt I did 100 days, I should masturbate now. I have that addict mentality, when you can be sober for a year and you think you can have 1 drink. Unfortunately that's not the case for me. Since I quit porn, I need to quit masturbating as well.
     
  13. AtomicTango

    AtomicTango Fapstronaut

    I dont want to be the person who tries to help you justify the relapse (unless you end up in some bizarre situation where someone holds a gun to your head and tells you to masturbate its never justified), but I think masturbating a couple of times without porn wont really make much difference to your progress unless you let it. If you let it push you into regressing then sure its a fuck up but if you just admit to yourself that you made a mistake, and just keep going, I dont think you'll see yourself losing progress. Beating an addiction is hard and I think focusing so much on avoiding a relapse can actually cause a relapse, its very much a "dont think of a pink elephant" kind of scenario.
     
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  14. thanks man, I don't justify the relapse. In my mind I thought that it wouldn't affect me but it did so it's just a reminder not to do it.
     
  15. James_007

    James_007 Fapstronaut

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  16. 7thSon

    7thSon Fapstronaut

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    What kind of a question is that ?? *giggling*
     
  17. u376

    u376 Fapstronaut

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    Make a promise to yourself that you will not touch yourself...no matter how strong the temptation is
     
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  18. yep, realized that after the 2nd time I did it!
     
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  19. u376

    u376 Fapstronaut

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    Yes temptations are normal brother......we are humans
    It's just we have to control ourselves
     
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