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Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by AllanTheCowboy, Jun 30, 2017.
That is all. I'm okay.
I wish I could say that too, but I'm struggling with urges to PMO just to relieve my loneliness. The only thing stopping me is that I have been down this road before and don't want to stay stuck in my PMO addiction.
How do you cope with being lonely?
As much as I want to, I don't know if I can abstain long enough to fully recover and have a real and loving relationship again.
Good luck to you.
Short answer, Jesus through Mary.
Don't focus on quitting PMO, focus on improving your life and circumstances. Connect with friends/old friends. Spend time with them. Join a social group. Pick up a hobby. Read. Meditate. Pray. Start exercising. Be out and around people and just give a friendly, "Hey, how's it going?" to anyone and everyone you make eye contact with. When urges strike just vocally tell your brain that "I don't have time for this, I have things I am trying to accomplish". Turn off electronics at a set time and just close your eyes and go to bed. Good luck man! We all can do this and have success I believe. You just have to be ready for change most importantly
Why is Mary important?
I think many people here are Christian and lean into their faith and God to get the strength to success (myself included). I am not 100% certain but, of those Christians, Catholics have a practice petitioning saints to intercede (pray) on their behalf. So for them I think it is Mary is regarded as a very whole Saint because she is the mother of Christ so if she is praying on your behalf that is believed to be very strong (I think, again not catholic).
If you aren't Christian but have certainy that that is a higher power out there, I suggest earnestly praying to Jesus. It doesn't have to be a religious structured practice either. I start out praying with "Hey God" or sometimes even "Yo whaddup Jesus" and then just talking about what I am experience, being greatful for my successes and blessings, and asking for help where I need it most, even asking him to help others. I think of it more just like talking to a friend who also happens to be an authority figure who is compassionate, helpful, and caring like a good father.
Jesus gives her anything she asks.
I don't understand, can you give me an example?
Already ahead of you, I found Jesus 2 years ago
I'm just a protestant trying to understand catholic theology, hence why I ask
Awesome! Glad to hear you are a brother in Jesus! I came back to church of my own choice 7 years ago and have been on my walk/journey ever since. I had always been around non-denominational/baptist churches so I find it interesting to learn about Catholic theology/belief/practice as well.
I'm not really sure what kind of example you mean.
Give us a hug.
I just saw this old thread. Not long ago I was talking to someone who was divorced and how that fed into to his addiction. We agreed that he is 'touch starved'. We live in a society that frowns on men touching others. So a man who is widowed or divorced... or a father who has children who have grown up and left... still has the desire for basic human contact and if they do not get it then porn seems like a comforting substitute. Also, the body also needs to be touched in order to be physically, emotionally, and mentally healthy.
So we came up with a few ideas that you too might find helpful. We came up with shaking hands when meeting a friend and saying goodbye to start. Work yourself up to a bro hug over time. Start a friendship with a younger guy who needs help at work or at church and form a mentor-like friendship with him. Touch, hug, or put kids on your lap while talking to them if appropriate. They now sell weighted blankets and comforters for your bed. And lastly, get a dog.
Being touched is a basic human need. How many lonely people hire an escort merely to talk to them and hug them. PMO gives the illusion of someone touching you while touching yourself. It's a sad and hollow ritual that produces no lasting comfort. I hope you are doing well my friend.
This. Right here. Despite what all the rhetoric that must be expected in a place like this, PMO isn't evil. It's just the same as weed or booze. Or the internet in general. Perfectly fine in moderation, but entirely addictive and harmful when we have nothing better to do. So go find that something better and then whatever addictions you happen to have will start to fade away on their own.
What a load of bullshit. PMO is not like weed or alcohol. PMO is like crack cocaine and heroin, neither of which are good or healthy in moderation. Have you done crack cocaine and heroin? I have and it is almost as much of a soul sucking experience as PMO. As of today I am almost 5 months sober from hard drugs. I'm only 5 days sober from PMO and I've been trying to rid my life of PMO way before I was trying to get rid of the hard drugs.
I think you are only half right. You are correct by saying that finding something better to do will battle addictions. However, I think PMO is bad, even if only in moderation. It takes consistency for it's negative affects to take effect. Only 5 minutes per day for a year would have a massive effect.
So how does that differ from other addictive substances, then?
Although I may see the issue.... if you're referring to 5 minutes a day as "moderation", I would point out that 5 minutes per day is still daily use.
I did coke heavily for a couple of years. And yeah, I dropped that habit a lot easier than I quit PMO.
But there's a reason for that. To get an 8 ball, I have to go looking for it now. Hit the ATM, go down to the club full of people and music I don't much like, find "the guy", etc. etc. That's a lot of conscious effort that I have to go through without coming to my senses and bailing out. With MO, (I've ditched the P pretty easily) whereever I go, my dealer is right there with me in my pants. All I need is to lose control for a few seconds.
So I definitely see where you're coming from there.
On the other hand, it maybe harder to quit, but unlike coke, heroin, (or alcohol for that matter), no one ever killed themselves OD'ing on PMO. And I guessing a lot of us here have unintentionally tried.