i messed up and i feel ya

Just take it one day at a time. Have you told your wife? Are you working to heal together? The feelings will pass but you need to start taking care of yourself in healthy ways so you don't need these stories. If it's too traumatizing for her try to find a guy who can walk with you through this.

It may seem like those feelings will never pass but never forget them it really helps you to stay away from porn/erotic stories if you can remember the pain those feelings bring.

 

Erotic stories and porn/sex fantasising are basically porn so you'll need to quit those. You could masturbate when you get the urges for porn. That's better than thinking about porn.
I'm not the kind of person that could pick up a hobby in my current state so noPMO hasn't worked for years. I recently started just quitting porn and that's been a great improvement for me.

I don't understand the part where you need the stories to be with your wife :/ You mean like you have pied?