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I messed up...

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by gglplxian, Apr 21, 2019.

  1. gglplxian

    gglplxian Fapstronaut

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    So yesterday night I really fucked up and looked at scat porn out of curiosity and some sort of “test” to see if I was sexually aroused by shit. I did it because I had a lot of intrusive thoughts and even some fantasies when I was around 5 years old and those fantasies included some weird AF giantess/fart implements (I think this was because I had some submissive fetish, IRL I did not like the smell of flatulence), so I started obsessing about what if I was sexually aroused by shit. I did not have any fart fantasies after these when I grew up but I did have occasional giantess fantasies recently.

    Anyway, when I searched the scat porn up, I saw it and it really disgusted me a first, but when I tested myself by masturbating to it I found out that I got a erection. This was basically fucking hell for me, I started obsessing about fecophilia and the prepubescent fart fantasies only made me more anxious. Even though whenever I thought about sexual acts with shit I had the urge to vomit but my brain started to think that a secret part of me did like it and that thought just became more amplified by the flatulence fantasies.

    My guess is that I just escalated too much coz I was really addicted to porn (I plan to stop now).

    Can anyone help me?
     
    Last edited: Apr 23, 2019
  2. younggungho

    younggungho New Fapstronaut

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    you have to top watching this. Reformat your computer and fill up your day with other things. start by going to the gym in the morning for at least an hour. When you come back. Take an ice cold shower. When the urge comes, slow down, dont fight it, sit down, meditate for a while and let the feeling pass. limit your time on the computer to about 30 mins. The lesser the better. Try it
     
    DogDaysOfLife likes this.
  3. gglplxian

    gglplxian Fapstronaut

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    Alright I’ll try doing that. Any ideas on how to stop obsessing on sexual thoughts and then coming to a conclusion (oh, I must be a homosexual/zoophile/coprophile because I just had these weird thought, fuck)? This is really stressful and I just want to stop having the thoughts or at least not make a big deal out of them. How does one know if one’s arousal is just a result of escalation or geniuine?

    I also obsess whether I am truly sexually aroused to certain extreme genres of porn or not, how do I stop this??
     
  4. gglplxian

    gglplxian Fapstronaut

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    Also what do you think of my situation? I know it sounds really fucked up but I'm scared and lost right now.
     
  5. gglplxian

    gglplxian Fapstronaut

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  6. ssha6451

    ssha6451 Fapstronaut

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    This sounds kind of ridiculous.
    You "tested" yourself by masturbating and found out you got an erection?
    I'm not sure if you are trolling.
    If you rub your penis, what were you expecting to happen? For you not to get an erection? And somehow if you stimulated your penis while watching scat porn and you didn't get an erection this would count as passing the test?
    Your logic really does not make sense.
     
  7. gglplxian

    gglplxian Fapstronaut

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    I didn’t think that you could get an erection to something that does not sexually appeal to you, my bad.

    I’ve been doing more of these tests recently, and I got an erection in the last one, is this because I keep thinking of the images which still desensitises the brain even if you are disgusted by it? Is it best just to not think of it at all?
     
  8. QuietKarma

    QuietKarma Fapstronaut

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    Not sure what you're worried about. If I looked at a solid brick wall and masturbated I'd probably get an erection, does that mean I have a wall fetish?

    Ok and maybe you do have a scat fetish. You can either grow and nurture it by engaging in the fetish, looking up images and videos. Or you can chose not to indulge in it and leave it to the wayside.

    It's like junkfood. Could you eat a whole gallon of ice cream in one go? Probably not. But if you ate ice cream every day eventually your body and mind would crave it and im sure you could eat two gallons of ice cream and still want more. You would probably also get diabetes.

    Does the fact that you like ice cream mean you're getting diabetes? No. Does the fact that sometimes you get tempted and indulge in ice cream mean you're getting diabetes? No. But what would give you diabetes is eating ice cream more and more, obsessing over your ice cream 'urges' and worrying about ice cream. Then going ice cream cold turkey (lol) but relapsing then binging on ice cream for 4 days.

    Quite often I think the way some guys on here try to beat their porn addiction is actually making it much worse. It's not worse than junk food. We all want it or are tempted by it sometimes. I believe we really should just keep junk food out of our lives. I dont walk through the grocery store crying because I saw a chocolate bar and got tempted. I just move on and tell myself I wont buy it because I want to be healthy. That's it. Lets stop being so anxious and self flagellating the whole time.
     
    gglplxian likes this.
  9. gglplxian

    gglplxian Fapstronaut

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    So are you saying if I should just avoid and not indulge or obsess about the fetish?

    Coz I really do not want this...
     
    QuietKarma likes this.

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