I might be in trouble, girl related

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by ShotDunyun, Nov 27, 2016.

  1. ShotDunyun

    ShotDunyun Fapstronaut

    Ok, this is difficult for me. I've been doing NoFap for almost a year now, with some resets here and there(last one being last week). I'm having my ups and downs, but overall I feel a lot better lately. One thing that hasn't changed much is that I've been avoiding human contact at almost all cost, just seeing people at work and just my closest friends. I don't want to sound like a fucking douchebag, but nowadays I feel like women have interrest in me again, but I just don't want to be with anyone right now. We can pretty much say thtat I've been celibate for more than two years, and keeping masturbation and porn at the minimum(I've ejaculated around 6 times this year).

    Now to the next point. The girl I've always liked invited me to his brother's wedding. Usually I say no to any social event, but I couldn't say no her. She's always inviting me to go out, and I always say no. She actually went to my old man's funeral and stayed with me all night. She invited me to this important event, so I would have felt like a douchebag if I'd say no. So I've already said yes.

    So my issue is this: she clearly wants to spend time with me and get laid. She was my girlfriend in highshool, and we see each other every few years (I'm 29 now), but we've never had sex, and that's pretty much because my own insecurities. I'm worried now that after being celibate for so long, I'll ejaculate in minus 5 seconds, and she'll be utterly dissapointed. The problem also is that I like her a lot, I'm 100% attracted to her.

    So that's basically my "problem". I'm not terrified, but i feel uncomfortable with all the situation. Please, any advice will be appreciated
    Sven Pellegrain likes this.
  2. Green_Tea

    Green_Tea Fapstronaut

    Try to be honest and genuine with her if you're in an intimate setting, particularly about how long it's been since you've been with anyone. I imagine she will appreciate the honesty. I hope that things work out between you two. Best of luck!
    Dizzy Lotus and ShotDunyun like this.
  3. ShotDunyun

    ShotDunyun Fapstronaut

    Thanks bro. In fact we are going to travel on a bus for at least 4 hours, I think we'll have enough time to talk about it
  4. Frühlingstimme

    Frühlingstimme Fapstronaut

  5. ShotDunyun

    ShotDunyun Fapstronaut

    Very informative and helpful, hahaha
  6. huhh

    huhh Fapstronaut

    Bro, you have a girl that really likes you and you are attracted to her. What's the problem haha? It sounds great. Just relax and enjoy the ride. She will understand if you tell her your insecurities. Sounds to me that you don't have a problem but just making a problem for yourself.
    Dizzy Lotus and ShotDunyun like this.
  7. ShotDunyun

    ShotDunyun Fapstronaut

    That makes sense. The thing is no man likes to last less than microwave popcorn
  8. Frühlingstimme

    Frühlingstimme Fapstronaut

  9. Beatzeppe

    Beatzeppe Fapstronaut

    Have a few beers before the physical contact and remember that nofap was made for us and not the other way round ;)
    ShotDunyun likes this.
  10. Ocean Man

    Ocean Man Fapstronaut

    Go for it! Why stop? I already wish women approached me and wanted to have conversations with me!
    If you like each other, who knows, maybe she might be worth it.

    You can do it man!
  11. DayOne44

    DayOne44 Fapstronaut

    Shy men like us need to wait for the women to approach us.

    The problem is that nature didn't intend mating to work that way.

    We males are supposed to take the initiative.

    You are very lucky to have a woman step forward, express interest, and ask you out.

    Appreciate that in the fullest.

    It also sounds like it is time for you to come out of your shell and rejoin society.

    For that, have courage!

    This woman appeared right when you must be ready to do that.

    She seems interested in you, but that doesn't mean that she wants sex right away.

    Not being presumptuous about sex should take off some of the pressure you are feeling.

    The other guys here are right in saying that she will understand your condition if she truly cares for you.

    Sharing our weaknesses and insecurities is a deep kind of intimacy.

    Good Luck!
    ShotDunyun likes this.
  12. ShotDunyun

    ShotDunyun Fapstronaut

    I was thinking about that, maybe a few drinks can help.

    Thanks a lot man. That's very encouraging!

    Deep inside I know that you guys are 200% right, I'll try to calm down and enjoy the time with her. I don't try to say that I suffer premature ejaculation, I used to last a decent amount of time. But after so long I don't know how the body adapts, so I guess I'll find out next saturday!
  13. Luka

    Luka Fapstronaut

    The whole deal, in my opinion is this. Calm yourself down, don't let yourself get too excited. Breath.. I had PE problem just few weeks ago again and again with sex. I didn't know what to do, but than I realised that I was preasuring my self mentaly.. Just relax, breath (there are exercises) and everything will go fine. And even if you blast fast first time, you will probably be ready to go for next round in no time. Good luck!
    ShotDunyun likes this.
  14. nefelibata

    nefelibata Fapstronaut

    I completley understand what your going through. But from what your saying I can understand that this girl likes you, so the feeling mutual between you two. So don't stress about the whole sex thing, it either goes great or it doesn't and I know that you want to satisfy her and give her pleasure but remember if she really likes you and has feelings for you she'll come back for you no matter what.
    Good luck!!!! Hope I helped.
    ShotDunyun and Luka like this.
  15. ShotDunyun

    ShotDunyun Fapstronaut

    That breathing part sounds good, I'll practice with that!

    I try to think about that, but my man brain is playing tricks on me. I'll relax, thats the best option for me right now
  16. Fork2323

    Fork2323 Fapstronaut

    How do you know she will want to have sex the 1st date? Maybe date her awile and get to know each other with quality time.. Also, ive learned that a great gal wont wait around forever. Im 48 now, never been married. Ive had lots of sex and dated a lot of girls, but never stuck it out with anyone. Now i keep wonering if any of them where keepers and i blew it after they moved on. A great gal has lots of guys after her and will get tired of waiting. If you really like her, let her know.
    ShotDunyun and Green_Tea like this.

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