I miss having someone close to talk about how I feel

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by kio_actualized, Jul 17, 2020.

  1. kio_actualized

    kio_actualized Fapstronaut

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    I've been in NoFap for too long but made too little progress as far as I can tell.
    Wish I had some friends I could talk about this, but the few people who know about this are sick of hearing about it and I guess they don't care anymore. And why should they care? It's my own damn fault. I've been through this for years and haven't managed to cure it.
    This addiction never really made me feel alone untill now. I've wasted too many chances and it seems impossible to escape from it. Wish I was doing better with my days.

    I hope you all are doing better than I am.
     
  2. Shuffledude88

    Shuffledude88 Fapstronaut

    Man, that sucks to hear that your friends are tired about hearing you out. It takes a lot to share, you did the right thing. I have been kinda in the same boat. I have no problem sharing really. But too often people say that they care, and will check in on me or whatever, but then I’m still the one reaching out time after time. It sucks. It’s also tougher to find that kind of deeper friendship the older I get I feel. I actually found some great people through this site which I talk about everything really With. So Don’t Give up. another tip is joining the NoFap group calls (link at the top). It has been a gamechanger for me. :) hang in there, and reach out here to people. Better sharing online, then not at all. :)
     
    kio_actualized and jksttymm like this.
  3. Shuffledude88

    Shuffledude88 Fapstronaut

    Also. It feels like you have What it takes. It all need to start from within YOU. Others can help, but not make the work.
     
    kio_actualized likes this.
  4. jksttymm

    jksttymm Fapstronaut

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    Hope this message finds you well
    .start working on new skill , read books , then you will came to know mostly people are fool and there is no benefit in wasting time with them .
     
    kio_actualized likes this.
  5. n7elite30

    n7elite30 Fapstronaut

    Do you have a pet or are you at a point in life where you can feasibly adopt a pet? I still struggle with what you're describing but I recently adopted a puppy and caring for him has already helped me feel better. I know it's still not the same as a real person that can hear you out and encourage you but the unconditional love of a pet can be immensely helpful!
     
    kio_actualized and Knighthawk like this.
  6. TheOA

    TheOA Fapstronaut

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    Hi,
    Always keep in mind why you wanted to quit PMO, don't get stuck up about the streaks, if you have urges and think about the streak you're absurd, because the streak doesn't mean anything, it's just an indicator, or something to give you an extra bit of motivation not to fuck it up, but ultimately, they don't matter.

    What matters is: what are you here for? Always remind yourself what it is that made you come to the conclusion that you wanted a life free of PMO, I bet you hate porn, you find it disgusting, I bet you feel ashamed, pathetic and disappointed every time you relapse, I bet you think that this is not who you are, this is what matters, this is what you must remember at all times, that you choose to live PMO free because it is not compatible with who you are, that's not what you want to be, a slave to a disgusting industry, a slave to desires.
    You're more than that and life is about more than that. You can be free today, right now, by deciding, not "having to" but choosing to and being proud and happy to live by the kind of values you believe in, so the value you get out of living this way far outweighs the negative of giving up that little pleasure.
    Wish you the best!
     
    kio_actualized and Loto like this.
  7. kio_actualized

    kio_actualized Fapstronaut

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    This advice is really good. I used to work as a volunteer in a project of my university where we took care of abandoned animals and it was indeed therapeutic. Most animals arrived there with problems trusting humans and it was nice bonding with them and helping getting them a home. I no longer study at this university and can't keep being a part of the project, but I recommend being a part of something like this to every fapstronaut! :)
     
    InnerEngineerling likes this.
  8. kio_actualized

    kio_actualized Fapstronaut

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    Really valuable advice, mate. Thanks a lot for taking the time to write this. Living according to our values is indeed the key to long term happiness and we often don't realize it.
     
  9. kio_actualized

    kio_actualized Fapstronaut

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    I haven't replied before, but I appreciate your message. Thanks for replying, this support really helps me getting motivated to keep trying.
    True. I've been postponing this work for long, but I can't keep doing this forever or I will end up with a miserable life. I must get the self therapy work done... There's a book written by Donna Marks about addictions that seems helpful, the name is Exit The Maze and I believe it has valuable insights. I will get back to it.
    You are right. Reading books is a must!
    I will find time and discipline to do so.
     

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