I am trying hard to forget my ex. But it has been so hard. So painful, I would like to heal. Part of the reason why she left was my adiction to this drug that is killing me. It is taking away from me my confidence, my love for my self, my work time, my patience. It has been just so painful. I also seem to try to reach God but it is like he is not listening to me. Like the windows of heaven are closed for a while for me. I try to feel like is different, but my own guilt, shame, errors, apparently have conquer me, so I have no hope. Im trying hard to recover this hope. So far I only got 2 days, but it is like eternity every day. It seems like I have no motivation. That the emptiness is wining over me.