i need advice

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by xxxoggangstaxxx, Jul 6, 2019.

  1. xxxoggangstaxxx

    xxxoggangstaxxx New Fapstronaut

    2
    1
    3
    Everytime i try to do something i never do it , like if i decide i want to start exercising tomorrow i end up loosing the willpower to even try. it's gotten me stuck in a place i don't want to be in , im lazy and not hardworking at all . it's gotten to the point where i'd rather be stressed out than study for an exam . i hate my inability to get shit done , and i want to change that's why i came here to ask for advice . So if you got any advice share it with me .
     
  2. keepitreal-88

    keepitreal-88 Fapstronaut

    143
    159
    43
    I suffer from the same affliction, could be a symptom of depression or PMO, PMO induced depression. I've noticed that if I start with just one small productive thing, it then leads to another and another and another, sometimes just getting started is enough to keep you going.
     
    Morningmistanew likes this.
  3. elevate

    elevate Fapstronaut

    1,103
    5,362
    143
    The problem with motivation or willpower is it's often an emotional decision.

    Creating new habits like exercising is difficult and requires effort. You'll feel like shit in the short term and you won't feel good about it until later on (delayed gratification). So your motivation / willpower that's controlled by your emotions says "this doesn't feel good" then naturally you'll avoid it.

    Practice doing things even if you don't feel like it and logically note down the long term benefits of doing it despite the short term difficulties and not feeling good.

    Do it for long enough and soon you'll gain positive experiences out of it that will reinforce the belief and positive emotions of continuing to do it, but first you have to gain momentum by doing it even if you don't feel like doing it.

    There are a lot of things in life that are pleasureful and motivating in the short term, but terrible for you in the long term. Drugs / alcohol / porn / smoking / etc.

    There are a lot of things in life that feel bad in the short term and scare you away in the short term, but great for you in the long term. Interacting with strangers / better nutrition / exercise / learning a new skill / etc.

    It's all about sacrificing short term emotions for the sake of long term outcomes.

    Do it even if you don't feel like it.

    Things like porn conditions people to sacrifice long term outcomes for the sake of short term emotions. It conditions people to seek only pleasure and avoid discomfort. To always feel good and to never feel challenged. To wait to feel motivated / good before taking any action.
     
  4. Infrasapiens

    Infrasapiens Fapstronaut

    1,605
    4,175
    143
    Make it part of your routine. I started to work out a week ago, and when the time for it arrives, I am not very happy about it. However, I do feel good when I finish, not only because I am one step closer to get better looking, but because I did something to improve myself even if I didn't wanted to.
     
  5. jarvyjarvison

    jarvyjarvison Fapstronaut

    316
    369
    63
    Dude, take it from me: nothing on earth is going to make you feel like doing work. I’ve tried everything from motivational videos to drugs to books and meditation... prayer....I’ve tried it all. The bottom line is some stuff just sucks and there’s really no way to make it suck less. Ya just gotta do it - even though you hate every minute of it. Some shit’s just gotta get done.
     
  6. keepitreal-88

    keepitreal-88 Fapstronaut

    143
    159
    43
    Get accountability, this will scare you enough to get you to do it: Give someone you trust £100 or something that you really don't want to lose and tell them "if I don't do this then you get to keep it". Do it every time, make the loss of not doing the hard work worse than the effort of the hard work, you'll either make them rich or you'll start doing what you said you'd do.
     
    Last edited: Jul 7, 2019
  7. Eternal Fire

    Eternal Fire Fapstronaut

    If it's a habit like exercising, you should try and decrease the amount of effort it takes to prepare for it. I think this has a name but I can't remember what it's called, but if you're wanting to exercise then put your clothes and shoes next to your bed so you just get up, get dressed and go. It decreases the effort and distance to hopefully instill it as a habit where you don't tire yourself out deciding whether you feel like doing it or not.

    And the other thing that's been said here, you'll never feel like doing the stuff you don't like doing. Mel Robbins preaches this, so if you don't feel like doing something but you know you need to do it, the feeling of motivation or willingness will never come to get you off your butt. I've also used the 5 second rule I found out from her, where if you need to do something you don't want to do like get out of bed, you count down from 5 to 1 and just get up and do the thing. It's got something to do with your prefrontal cortex, but basically in those first 5 seconds you can do something before your brain has time to talk you out of it and make excuses.
     
  8. Dee Bee

    Dee Bee New Fapstronaut

    4
    7
    3
    Procrastination is the worst,it says more about us like we would like to admit
    I'm a major procrastinator myself,so i can relate to you in a big way.
    My problem was i wanted to many things at once and then overloaded myself with things to do that i got stressed and started wasting time.
    So i just started with a list of 2 things i wanted to change,and kept that for a week or 2.....eventually i worked my way up to a whole morning routine form wake till i leave the house.
    Took me several months to stick to and lost of tweaking.
    Maybe start with one or two things and see if you can do them constantly for a week or to and work your way from there.
    But most importantly you have to dig inside yourself why you feel the way you feel,you basically become your own obstacle
     
  9. Haddock0

    Haddock0 Fapstronaut

    20
    23
    3
    There is no advice that anyone here could give you so you would be able to do it. You gave the example of how you would say to start exercising the next day but wouldn't be able to. Well all I can say is to just do it. Put the shoes on, walk out the door, and to the gym. OR, instead of saying you'll do it tomorrow, say you will do it now. Like right now, after you finish reading my reply. Good luck at your workout.
     
  10. xxxoggangstaxxx

    xxxoggangstaxxx New Fapstronaut

    2
    1
    3
    i did 10 minutes of jumping rope , although it isn't much i've at least started . thank you all for replying i will do my best to change , maybe someday i'll post my transformation on this forum . goodluck on your nofap journeys .
     
    cBettyford likes this.
  11. lalaland20178

    lalaland20178 Fapstronaut

    Can I ask you to do something. I want you to go running for exactly 1 minute for the next 3 days. How hard can it be. Just a single minute. Get up and run for a minute, come back and sleep again or whatever. Check in here everyday. Do it just for a minute , try to do it at the same time of day everyday if you can.
    I am serious, just for a minute for the next 3 days.
     

Share This Page