I need advice

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Bluffy, Sep 27, 2015.

  1. Bluffy

    Bluffy Fapstronaut

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    Hello. I am hoping this can be an open journal of my final reboot/streak, where people can talk, vent, give advice, and basically all be account ability partners. This thread might turn out as a fail, but I am still going to create this anyways.

    Let me tell you about my half year long journey thus far. I joined nofap around March of 2015 in hopes to stop masterbaiting. Porn was never(and still isn't) a big issue with me. It was very hard in the beginning. I could only last around a few days and then give in. These small streaks continued, but gradually grew bigger. And next thing I know, it's September of 2015. My streaks are still quite small (around 2 weeks on average.)

    The reason I started nofap was due to the psychological and physical impacts masterbaiting would have on me. Any type of loss of semen (whether masterbaiting, or a wet dream, or a random ejaculation) would cause these side affects. These side affects included of brain fog, lack of motivation, tiredness and fatigue, dry skin and acne, loss of memory, and a HUGE loss of confidence and social skills (probably due to brain fog.) My brain fog consists of many thoughts going through my head at a time, as well as overthinking EVERYTHING. This affects me mostly in school and social situations. The lack of motivation is pretty self explanatory. The fatigue deprives my from my abilities in sports (currently a high schooler who plays basketball and track and field.) The motivation and fatigue both contribute to my lack of progression in the 2 sports I once excelled in. Also, I am extremely skinny. I can't gain any weight. Just thought that might be of use to someone who is reading this with some advice. Dry skin and acne are a huge factor in why I want to stop. I know for a fact that my acne is caused by ejaculation. I have tested this theory many times and it has not failed me once. While on my streaks, my acne goes away around the day 7 mark, and stays away. The day I relapse of have a wet dream, my acne slowly comes back. My confidence goes way down due to this. My social skills also go down because of this as well as the brain fog. I feel like all of these negative side affects go hand in hand with each other. They are all correlated.

    Now, I have gotten a lot better at not giving in and staying clean. However, Wet Dreams are a big PROBLEM for me. I encounter wet dreams almost every other night. They completely disrupt my streak. Wet Dreams are a form of ejaculation, thus giving me the side affects. Now many people say that one cannot control wet dreams. However, I have noticed that not drinking at least 2 hours before bedtime and emptying out your bladder before bed can help a lot. I have found this to work around 80% of the time. However, some nights it hasn't worked. But I have also found out after many trials that consuming a lot of water before the "2 hour beginning", is not a good idea. It is better to spread your water intake throughout the day. This not only solves the problem of not being completely empty, it also is good for the body. This may seem like common sense, but do admit I only recently discovered this.

    So, this journal will be day by day responses of mine, comparing all of those negative traits to what I am feeling physically, mentally, and emotionally on the given day. My goal is to stop ejaculation from my life completely. Support and advice would be greatly appreciated.
     
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  2. JoeinMD

    JoeinMD Fapstronaut

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    All ejaculations aren't equal - everything isn't addiction.

    In the end, dreams are always therapeutic; even wet dreams; even scary nightmares have a purpose. Think of it as your brain's way of working out what it needs to work out, healing what it needs to heal. Think of opium or heroin addicts who after withdrawal may enter into violent vomiting periods, as their bodies vomit out all the poison from their past drug usage. Similarly, your brain isn't creating these dreams to pleasure itself or to judge or tempt you; it may very well be spewing out all those masturbatory occasions and porn that you poisoned it with - thus freeing and releasing the memories from your system and your mind; the images are being released and coming out of you (unfortunately they cross the visual screen of imagination as they depart – this is what disturbs us), but this does not reinforce the addiction within you or say something about your moral state. You are actually healing.

    I find many guys on here who are also distressed about their wet dreams – thinking they relapsed. But, wet dreams are also a natural part of male biology, and this is nature’s way of release. You wouldn’t want to repress nature’s way, as the repression may eventually cause you to sexually act out in undesirable ways of release, like PMO, the very addiction you’re trying to recover from, or worse. Wet dreams do not reinforce the addiction of PMO – they are involuntary, unlike PMO- or MO-on-demand that you voluntarily and willfully overuse to manipulate yourself and your need for a dopamine fix. The only possible negative side effects of a vivid wet dream is that the strong memory of it can cause further fantasy when awake (and this is annoying), but this is usually temporary – but like any trigger, you have to resist this. Wet dreams may also cause some testicular congestion or morning wood, which create urges when awake. But, these things are temporary too.

    Be well!
     
  3. Calm

    Calm Fapstronaut

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    Create on @Bluffy! It will only be a fail if you allow yourself to think negative thoughts habitually or if you don't believe it will be a success! Believe in yourself. You gotta believe Bluffy my young friend, shift the paradigm bro!

    The only advice you are going to get that is actually going to help you reduce or eliminate wet dreams is by people who are adepts at the inner alchemy of the body and practice things like yoga, martial arts, meditation, etc.



    The Brahmacharya guide is a decent place to start, it has a table of contents you can search through to find the relevant sections. Even if your aim is only to refrain from all ejaculations temporarily and not be celibate for life there is alot of practical info in it, granted it was written by a Swami so some of it is very spiritual,

    http://www.dlshq.org/download/brahmacharya.htm
     
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  4. The Eleven

    The Eleven Fapstronaut

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    I don't see how you can consider a wet dream to be a setback. You are not watching P. You are not M. You're not "doing" anything at all. This does not reinforce the neural pathways you're trying to rewire. It's a natural physiological occurrence that you cannot control. If you face the chaser effect after a wet dream, well, then that's what you have to face. But that's an obstacle to your continued recovery, not a setback.
     
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  5. Bluffy

    Bluffy Fapstronaut

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    Even if my dreams reenact porn situations?
     
  6. JoeinMD

    JoeinMD Fapstronaut

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    Yes, even then. Remember the heroin addict (vomiting during withdrawals) - you are spewing out the porn and not so much taking it in. Your mind is healing itself in dreams, and your body is going through natural and healthy biological cycles in wet dreams - that's how male biology works when it's not abused.
     
  7. The Eleven

    The Eleven Fapstronaut

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    Yes, unless you somehow control what you dream about.
     
  8. docker

    docker Fapstronaut

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    The real problem @Bluffy and @The Eleven is not the difference between masturbation, sex or wet dreams or even random ejaculation. The real problem is the loss of the semen.

    @The Eleven, who said that the wet dreams are physiological occurrence that you cannot control? Do you know any research about it? Are there any tests?

    This is not a very strong motivation, but if it works for you it's fine. It reminds me a friend of mine who told me that he wants to quit smoke because he spends money! What about his health? Which is the most important priority and why? The answer is obvious I guess!

    Wet dreams are the consequence of sexual thoughts!!!! The body always responds to the thoughts. That's why many of the diseases are psychosomatic. Porn creates these sexual thoughts easily for you!!!!!! Brain cannot distinct the difference between fantasy and reality! That's why, it is always better to create your own thoughts instead of being slave of your thoughts (or anyone else's thoughts)!!!!! If someone is thinking sex or masturbation during day, eventually the body will react to this. It's like watching a nightmare because you saw a thriller movie before you sleep. Everybody knows that energy cannot be destroyed. It can be transformed/transmuted. So, sexual energy must be something else, if not transformed into semen. Semen is a transformed energy of your sexual energy. Lots of people like to workout as a transformation. There are many types of transformations. Yoga, meditation, workout, sports, fun, creation, creativity and in general any form of self-expression is a type of transformation.

    @Bluffy, who are these "many people" who said that they cannot control wet dreams? Do you have someone specific in your mind? How did they try to control the wet dreams and they claimed that they failed? Can you please answer my questions?
     
    Last edited: Sep 30, 2015
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  9. The Eleven

    The Eleven Fapstronaut

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    @docker, I'm not going to argue with you about all of this, but I do have to say that you are dreadfully misinformed. Semen is a bodily fluid, like any other bodily fluid. It has no magical properties, and losing some due to a wet dream has no inherent negative impact on anyone.

    Also, I cannot understand how you can possibly challenge the notion that dreams are involuntary. If you are suggesting that you can control what you dream, you are either psychotic or a liar. By definition, dreams occur when you are unconscious. If you are suggesting that looking a P increases the likelihood that you will have the sort of dream that leads to a nocturnal emission, I can't refute that, but anyone in here who is taking this process seriously is eliminating (or at least drastically reducing) their P consumption, in any event. Plus, anyone can have a wet dream, even someone who never consumed P or hasn't done so in a very long time. So if you have any evidence of a link between P consumption and nocturnal emissions, please enlighten me.

    But the point is this: As long as you are eliminating your P consumption, what your brain does while you are unconscious is not a setback. It isn't a relapse. It just isn't. Sorry.
     
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  10. docker

    docker Fapstronaut

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    @The Eleven I don't have the intention to argue with no-one. We all are here to express our opinions and read other's experiences about the subject of nofap! As you follow my thoughts, then you are going to agree with me about it. Also, you will agree that the issue here is not who is misinformed, as you claimed, but to read what other's has to say to us and learnt as much as possible from them. I made some specific questions to learn more if you have study some researches or tests about that subject. Well?

    I will add another question to you! Who said that semen has magical properties? Except of course that it can creates a new life by it self!!

    Well, there are philosophies, which insists that human must conserve semen, even from nocturnal emission, because it is the finest product of a huge body's processing. I am sure that you already read about the connection of ejaculation and depression because the hormonal imbalances, right? The nocturnal emission is an ejaculation!! So, it can produces negative impact! Right? Otherwise, there's no meaning for us to be here and discuss the nofap effects.

    Have you ever read that there are people who sees lucid dreams? I am one of them. Very often I am aware that I am inside of my dream, while I am dreaming. It is very weird, because I can explore my dream in real time and navigate my conscious inside of my unconscious. In other words, if you prefer, I can have conscious decisions and explore my unconscious. Gladly I am not psychotic neither a liar. I have a friend who is capable to dream, seeing pictures, while she is conscious. She is functional 100% while she is doing that. It is her mind that works like this. Her conscious part can interact with her unconscious part as well.

    I don't know if you are in age that you can drive. But the most of our readers will understand exactly what they will read. The first time that someone tried to drive, he needed to be fully aware of what to do. He should be as much as he can in conscious mode. The conscious repetition of this process will be easier day by day. After some time the whole process will be part of his subconscious part and there's no need to be conscious so much next time. You can notice many drivers be in trance while they are driving. It is the same with dreams and porn.

    The unconscious will triggered by the incentives that the conscious part will deliver throughout the day. The unconscious has the ability to absorb and replay the recorded tape of the day and process-extract the useful information. It is the role that it must be plays. It regulates what the conscious cannot. It controls your heart beat, the blood circulation, the air in your lungs, heal your muscles, rest your eyes, relief pain, recover your body, etc. All of these and million other of functions simultaneously. The unconscious it's so brilliant which will never produce more blood than it is appropriate for our body. It will never produce blood's hemorrhage without a reason. We exclude of course symptoms that are consequences of diseases that the unconscious needs help to treat them effectively. Why, such wise mechanism as the unconscious expels from the system valuable vitamins, nutrients, hormones, etc with nocturnal emission? What's the purpose of that if it's not the produced signals throughout the day? Think about it or test this on your self.


    If you think that you bite lemon saliva will start to develop in your mouth. This was produced only by a thought. Brain cannot recognize if something is real or fantasy. Your brain can see, not your eyes. What your brain does is product of your conscious thoughts. You can now replay in your mind your favorite porn scene. Your brain will recover this memory from it's library. Horny feelings will come in the surface. Try not think of your favorite porn scene over and over again throught out the entire day. Do you believe that your brain will notice the difference if this is real or not? Do you think that this is a porn elimination because you didn't sit on your computer and search your favorite porn websites, as you did in the past :-/ over and over again?

    I will repeat my phrase again. It is wiser to have the ability to create my thoughts instead of being a slave of the thoughts.
     
    Last edited: Oct 2, 2015
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  11. Bluffy

    Bluffy Fapstronaut

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    Explain to me why whenever I lose semen due to a wet dreams, it has the same physical and mental affects on me? How do they not have powers?
     
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  12. The Eleven

    The Eleven Fapstronaut

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    Well, I don't know. I guess it can have whatever power you decide to let it have over you. But from a purely neurological/physiological standpoint, there is no reason at all why a wet dream should be considered a departure from your recovery from PMO. You are not looking at anything inappropriate. You are not consciously fantasizing. You are not touching yourself. It is purely a way for the body to get rid of something it has too much of, nothing more, nothing less.

    The better question, given all of those undisputed truths, is why in the world WOULD you consider a wet dream to be a relapse?
     
  13. Bluffy

    Bluffy Fapstronaut

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    My overall goal is to be OrgasmFree. It's more than nofap. My acne develops whenever I experience an orgasm (I'm guessing that it is the actual ejaculation which causes it.) I know this for a fact. So don't start an argument saying acne is caused by something else. That's why I want to get of wet dreams though..
     
  14. The Eleven

    The Eleven Fapstronaut

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    I'm definitely not here to talk you off of any goal you have, @Bluffy. You know yourself better than anyone, after all. And if eliminating O helps your complexion, more power to you.

    But I think it is important for you -- and everyone -- to know that, from a scientific standpoint, there is NO reason why a wet dream should be considered a reset in connection with PMO addiction. (I was responding to @docker's post about a wet dream being a PMO reset. I don't think I ever saw any mention of acne until your most recent comment.) Plus, there simply is no reasonable way for you to stop wet dreams from happening, no matter how badly you want to, so I guess I don't see the point of the whole exercise. But you should definitely do whatever you think is best for you.
     
  15. Bluffy

    Bluffy Fapstronaut

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    Yeah I know I never mentioned acne. And I have found out that a full bladder does make you more vulnerable to experience a full bladder. That's just my experience though.
    It does suck having acne only caused by ejaculation though. I know other people who experience this as well (not many) and they hate wet dreams also. I don't get it. It confuses me why a natural thing like ejaculating would cause a disease (acne).
     
  16. Bluffy

    Bluffy Fapstronaut

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    I do have some thoughts on why ejaculation causes my acne though. I was on Accutane a while back due to severe acne. I don't have nearly as bad of acne now than when I was younger. I am 16 right now and I took Accutane when I was around 12-13. The acne went away completely. Then, when I discovered masterbaition, my acne slowly started coming back. I noticed that if I go on a streak, my acne gets bad around day 3, then clears up anywhere from day 5-9. Then after that, it stays clear until I either masterbait (binge) or have a wet dream, which results in binging sadly lol.
     
  17. IGY

    IGY Guest

    Do you need to re-word that? :confused:
     
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  18. Bluffy

    Bluffy Fapstronaut

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    More vulnerable to a wet dream*
    lol I was typing while talking to my mom and doing homework. haha good eye.
     
  19. IGY

    IGY Guest

    lol, right, I got it. ;)
     
  20. doctor_warren

    doctor_warren Fapstronaut

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    amazing <3 <3

    Makes me wanna have a wet dream haha
     
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