I need advices (stuck with a weird fetish that keeps making me relapse)

S

Shoopidywoop

New Fapstronaut
Ok so this is the first time im telling that to anybody but ive got a big problem...
This all started when i started modding my game skyrim (with dragons and shit) and i was like 14 (im 18 now). This game got a weird modding community like its gross af but i felt into it since i was young, curious and wanted every option to make my game badass... And so i came across a mod that would make sexy armors for female characters and i was like "well fuck it lets add it in". The "armors" were in fact really well made latex clothes with a lot of details and i wont lie they were hawt af... Keep in mind at this point in my life i havent touched my dick even once other than in the shower.

And so i started investigating about this stuff since it was so hawt and new for me (id get hard but didnt know how my dick worked so it would usually just be that). Doing my research, i felt on a website called "reflective desire". Its basically extreme latex bondage and i remember my first porn video ever watched was a girl fully encased in it all tied up... Just watching it made me cum. So the first time i actually came was on a weird fucking latex bondage video with a girl fully encased like i couldnt even see her face just her curves and her muffled moanings and since then IM STUCK WITH THAT FUCKING FETISH AND I CANT GET RID OF IT >.<

Like i seriously need help. Just seeing a girl wear latex leggings and my mind goes crazy (+ it became a trend nowadays... i hate my life). Almost every dreams i had since then were 50% related to girls in latex like wtf... I even dreamed of being one (a girl in latex). And since pornhub didnt had enough for my creep self, i found an online avatar customization based game called imvu and created a latex freak girl character and would jerk off on it and spend days on this stupid ass game... Ugh this fucking fetish takes so much place in my mind u have no idea...

Every time post nut syndrome hits me (like me writing this :P), i put things in my life to prevent me from watching this shit and jerking off again but as soon as it hits me i become the most productive, efficient, motivated, problem resolving, smart, determinate person on earth to undo what i did while affected by post nut clarity (like blocking porn sites on my phone and asking a family member to put in the security code which i managed to crack, i deleted that imvu game like 50 times to download it again, deleted my account to reactivate it or make another one so many times, put my phone on quarantine, ect.) I dont know what to do anymore to stop myself from falling back into it id love having advices from all of you...

Another issue thing is: i consider myself as a relatively good looking guy like i go to the gym and all but i fear that once i get into a serious relationship i wont see my girl as a person but as a hawt lil thing to dress up in latex and to tie up... At one point it actually became my goal in life: having a kinky girl into latex. Even worst, it still is but i know its a bad thing. I want to get rid of it so bad and every google search ive done says you cant get rid of a fetish and those type of things are and will always be turning you on no matter you do... Being addicted to this shit and playing that stupid ass imvu game fucked up my friendships, my first and only relationship, my grades, took sooooo much of my time, made me in depression, like this fetish is soooo strong i wish i never found this fucking kinky armor mod that got me into it. My first ever sexual experience was with latex and i feel like im stuck with it for the rest of my life... Nothing as yet to be even close to turning me on more then that not even the sex i had in real life... I want to know if theres smth i can do to fix this, to undo, like a ctrl z for what i saw and what i jerked off to. I need a brain wash. Maybe meditation?

Its been 4 years that ive been a coomer because of this latex fetish... Does someone know if you can get rid of a fetish as strong as this one is for me? At one point i even considered cutting off my dick but then i realized that that aint really a good idea since i want kids + imagine being hospitalized for cutting off your dick... shit sounds painful and fucked up. Anyways, i would love if someone have ideas to share me on how do i get rid of my weird ass stupid ass fetish or how to make my situation better or is there even hope >.<... Ty for your time and um yeah thats pretty much it. Please help
 
I’m not sure why I’m the first to respond but it’s like a baby squirrel imprinting to humans as parents if you get them before they open their eyes. The latex thing was your first and it opened your eyes. On top of that you had a chemical imprint when you had your first orgasm. I’m 44 and can vividly recall my first abuse at age 7 and every detail from the smell of the Vaseline, coldness of the white tile floor to the sun coming in the window and the dust in the air. I can’t tell you what I ate for dinner without thinking but all of that is Crystal clear. This site is awesome so use the resources. I’m in SA and on step 9 so without both I would be a mess. You have time to improve or get worse. Truth is you will probably do a little of both but look at the trend. If you’re working on getting better and doing one thing better it’sa win.
 
Saythatagain said:
I’m not sure why I’m the first to respond but it’s like a baby squirrel imprinting to humans as parents if you get them before they open their eyes. The latex thing was your first and it opened your eyes. On top of that you had a chemical imprint when you had your first orgasm. I’m 44 and can vividly recall my first abuse at age 7 and every detail from the smell of the Vaseline, coldness of the white tile floor to the sun coming in the window and the dust in the air. I can’t tell you what I ate for dinner without thinking but all of that is Crystal clear. This site is awesome so use the resources. I’m in SA and on step 9 so without both I would be a mess. You have time to improve or get worse. Truth is you will probably do a little of both but look at the trend. If you’re working on getting better and doing one thing better it’sa win.
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I know its been a couple months since I posted this but i really want to thank you for your response. Ill try my best to make things better. Thank you.
 
I have no idea if the fetish is reversible or not. 14 is quite late but it played a huge role in your sexual awakening. I had both natural fetish (I had signs that it will be a thing since I was a child, years before puberty) and some porn induce that I managed to get rid off.

But it doesn't really matter if the fetish is removable or not. Your problem is PMO. Fetishes can be coped with. Focus on nofap and be patient, it is the most important advice. Don't tease yourself with fetish material. It might take months or years but fetishes can be managable.

Btw. I have a furry fetish, especially for anthro reptiles. So I consider argonian girls cutes in TES games lol. Wierd. Latex is normie tier kink, you might have ended worse if that can makes you feel better.
 
I think the most dangerous thing you can tell yourself is that you have damaged yourself beyond repair. Because the reality is that everyone has warped experiences in the past, but that doesn’t have to affect your future. You are now in full control of your future. You can choose whichever path you want. If you have an addiction, to get out of it, you need to focus everyday on getting out of it and you will make progress, if it is a deep addiction, there will be relapse, but you will progress if you keep at it. Identify triggers and remove them one by one. Identify more beneficial activities and introduce them to replace porn activities.
 
Shoopidywoop said:
i fear that once i get into a serious relationship i wont see my girl as a person but as a hawt lil thing to dress up in latex and to tie up... At one point it actually became my goal in life: having a kinky girl into latex. Even worst, it still is but i know its a bad thing.
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I don't see why you're placing such negative judgement on having a fetish, especially if neither of you are causing hurting each other. If you want a serious long term relationship, you need to ensure you're compatible over the long term especially if you're monogamous. Of course you'll need to find a woman that's MORE than *just* kinky, since her personality and character are important too. Be sure to tell girls you date about your fantasy after the first couple of dates. If she freaks the f--- out, she isn't long term material. Speaking from experience, if she gets excited and indulges, you're in for a trip at first, but the power of the taboo, forbidden, subversive, "bad" fetish quickly changes into a just fun thing to do once in a while (it's really not practical getting into crazy latex outfits and doing bondage all the time for sex).

The problem here is using PMO, not the existence of a fetish.

p.s. Fulfilling fantasies, and having regular sex, does not make it easier to quit PMO (at least for me).
 
primaljade said:
The problem here is using PMO, not the existence of a fetish.
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@primaljade I can understand why you would advise this, but I am beginning to disagree. I think this can vary from person to person, but I think fetishes and PMO can go hand-in-hand. I.e, it is ok to have a fetish, but the brain can link those desires with PMO, and the two become inextricably linked.
Hence, for some people, it might be necessary to fight the battle on two fronts and remove the fetish desires as well as the PMO addiction. As someone with many niche fetishes, I am coming to realise that my fetishes haven't brought me satisfaction, as they are deeply entwined with my urge to PMO. Porn removes the other senses of touch, smell, taste, so in that way fetishes can also be problematic for some as the experience in real life is very different to the porn experience.

I would argue from my own experience + other posts here that a fetish can become an obsession, and the mind will chose to gain arousal from that alone (i.e normal sexual activity will not naturally provide arousal like it should).

@Shoopidywoop a latex/bondage fetish can be completely normal in principle, if it compliments normal sexual desires and appetite. However if it becomes an obsession, and possibly even the only thing that arouses you, it could be time to try and work to forget it, until you're in a relationship or position where it fits in.

As others have said above, porn has a way of inducing and strengthening fetishes (from common to uncommon). There is definitely time to change if you think that your fetish is motivated by porn, and is affecting you negatively :emoji_thumbsup:
 
Desire is antifragile, the more you resist it, the more it persists. If you try to extinguish desire, it becomes more and more of an obsession. That's something I'm going through right now. The key is that you can't rid yourself of this desire directly. That will only cause more OCD. What you need to do is replace it with an even better desire like...a healthy and deep sex life with someone that you thoroughly vetted. For me, I know that the best sex I have is with girls who genuinely like me, after a long time of abstinence and also if I don't cum in the end. However, I've had tons of fetishes over the addicted years and some I still struggle with. But nowadays, I just try to remind myself as often as possible that my sexuality needs to fit in with the rest of my life, it isn't this totally isolated part of me. I don't want a sexuality that relies on such high levels of stimulation and weirdness to get off bc a) that's only going to lead to more and more bizarre mutations b) it's too high maintenance and not good for the brain due to its wear and tear effects on reward circuitry and focus c) I want to appreciate the simpler and more subtle aspects of human desire instead of train wrecking it with insane material (think eating a delicious salad sprinkled with olive oil and feta cheese Vs stuffing yourself with a bowl of fudge covered doritos while playing battlefield 4 with VA glasses and surround sound. The latter may be insanely stimulating but AT.WHAT.COST...

So remember, DO NOT REPRESS...instead...REPLACE
 
I would also recommend the book Cupid's Poison Arrow by Marnia Robinson. She's the wife of the guy who started Your Brain on Porn and it's an excellent book to help you rediscover the joys of more subtle sex and is actually a very fun read without too much woo woo crap although there is some of that too if you're into it
 
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