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I need an advice with Internet relationship

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Rebooter1221, Sep 10, 2017.

  1. Rebooter1221

    Rebooter1221 Fapstronaut

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    Hi
    I dont't masturbate na watch porn for 38 days. I already noticed that I am more confident and people started respecting me more and being more friendly to me. I have also noticed that I had few eye contacts with girls on streets and when I look at the girl she looks back at me. I am decent looking guy, nothing special. I dont know, maybe I started noticing such things now..
    I have cutted down everything (Even today, all of the sudden some girl texted me on one app and send her sexy photo, I felt excited but I managed not to involve myself. She seemed to have some problems with herself..). I even trhow the fuck out a garbage from my room and finally made some organised tidiness. I even hidden useless video games cd's and replaced them with books. I dont play video games and I am trying to workout regurarly. I am doing well except one thing.
    There is a girl in China with which I used to have some kind of Long Distance Relationship. We know each other for 2 years. When I started Nofap I cutted down contact with her because in the end it only made me addicted to texting and masturbating and I realized I am putting too much effort to person from Internet rather than real people.
    We only have rare contact trough emails now. Recently she started liking me more and she wants me to come to China ect. She seems to be into me. I dont know why. She even texted that me getting a girlfriend would be terrible for her. And she compares me to her teacher which have chinese wife. And she is intelligent and very pretty so I treat her like an option for me, maybe opportunity, you know what I mean. Too hard for me to just ingore her.
    The problem is that I dont want to loose contact with her completely, its always cool to have international friend, and maybe I may improve my english and my social skills (I plan to make voice calls and video calls after the reboot where I have clear mind and confidence) but whenever she send me a email with complimenets towards me I get a boner and feel excited like in the past and I am starting to keep checking email inbox for new message. I know it sounds weird but I guess that my mind treats this as porn and this is why I feel like that. I really want to do something about it because she sends the emails more often than usual and I just started the new school year. Each time after the excitement I feel like I am less social.
    So I feel like I am making some kind of setback each time she send a email. And its hard to control myself from checking the email inbox.
    I wish to have healthy relationship with her, I mean, I wish I dont need to be sexually excited when contacting her and be, you know, "needy", keep checking the inbox, like checking out porn.. I tried getting dumbphone but I managed to find the way to check emails...
    Sorry for my bad english I am still learning :)
    Do you have any advice to my situation? I would reaaaaally appreciate that
     
    Last edited: Sep 10, 2017
  2. jest

    jest Fapstronaut

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    Your english is fine, no worries!

    You're in some trouble my friend, I also struggle with some online acquaintances since my real social life isn't very active.

    So my suggestion is if you truly believe you can get with this girl for real then you shouldn't avoid contact (but you should politely ask her to not send you suggestive pictures of her) otherwise you should cut all contact entirely because if you feel like you're on the wrong path and heading torwards a relapse then you need to get rid of whatever is making you forget your goals.
     
  3. Rebooter1221

    Rebooter1221 Fapstronaut

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    I was just thinking about contacting her again, after 90 days but I am not sure if she will answer me after that much time.
    Maybe I should tell her the truth and see what she say? But then she may get feel offended.
     
  4. jest

    jest Fapstronaut

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    I think you should definitely tell her the truth, she'll understand if she's smart or if she likes you enough. You have nothing to lose, remember there are countless women out there who would most likely love to be with you so don't get stuck on one single girl.
     
  5. Rebooter1221

    Rebooter1221 Fapstronaut

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    I told her the truth and said that I will text her again after 90 days.
    Now I am sure nothing will make my reocvery slower.
     
    jest likes this.
  6. BlueDragonfly

    BlueDragonfly Fapstronaut

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    If you don't plan on having more contact with her (phone calls, and actually seeing her), then cut off all ties. There's no point in talking to someone online and investing your life into them. It will only distract you from what is real.

    A long distant relationship is no relationship at all. In reality you aren't still at the point in your relationship with her that you were at when you were last with her in person.
     

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