I need answers...

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by DudeHelpMe, Jun 11, 2015.

  1. DudeHelpMe

    DudeHelpMe Fapstronaut

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    I promised myself I wouldn't PMO for the month of June. It was special to me because on the 17th it would be my 21st birthday and that at the rate I would be going, I would've made progress ridding myself of this horrible addiction.

    But it didn't work out. On the 11th of June in the evening, I fapped and came. I am now over the sobbing and the humiliation phase and have accepted the situation. Now I'm looking for a solution. I have started back to abstaining right away.

    From the beginning of the month I was so set out on doing it this time. I told myself, I'd do anything to avoid fapping when an urge came. So motivated. But somehow when you're in the moment of a strong urge, your mind is blinded and you start rationalizing. "Maybe one more time..." or " Damn, I remember how good my favorite pornstar looked, let me check".
    How do I overcome this?

    If someone can enlighten me, please do. I feel it's the key to get me through this.

    -DudeHelpMe
     
  2. Fatty

    Fatty Guest

    i guess there is no secret to make it easy. When that is said, there are tools to make it easier. you could go to the forum of accountability partners and get one of those. That way, when your mind is "blinded", you will also think of your partner and hopefully won't let him/her down ;).
    I have also heard of a program that blocks all kind of porn on your computer, and before you can enter porn you will have to enter a code. A guy in another thread had written a long code and hidden it away, where it would take him minutes to find it. This worked for him ;)
     
  3. You have made progress! Eleven days clean - when was the last time you managed that? That's something to celebrate and to congratulate yourself for - it takes enormous strength - and to build on.

    You seem to have reacted well to your relapse too - can you learn anything from it? Something you can do differently?

    Good luck, man, and don't be so hard on yourself.
     
  4. Andre2807

    Andre2807 Fapstronaut

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    Last night I was texting my girlfriend. We were flirting and teasing, nothing heavily. During this time I got a hard-on. I told her I'd go to sleep at 10 PM and did, put my phone in my office. Lying in bed, with a hard-on, I also thought "Maybe one more time..." but instead of acting on that thought, I just stayed lying still with that uncomfortable thought and fell asleep. This morning I up, put the kettle on, took a cold shower and beat my chest like a primal ape.

    The next time you get that thought in your head... Just keep it a thought. Realise that it's just a thought and that you don't need to act on it.
     
  5. Adam33

    Adam33 Fapstronaut

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    My advice
    - take a list of all of your triggers and avoid them. Recognize all the situations where you'r most likely to give up and avoid them. Put everything in a paper, it will make you clearer about the dangers you're running into.
    - the software can help you. check which porn blocker can be of help for your devices.-
    - feeling bad for your error doesn't help you at all, actually it sets you so down that makes you feel weak and hopeless. So how many days you stayed without fapping? 11? Perfect. How many times a month were you fapping before to go NOFAP? 5? 6? 10? 20? Some people fap from 5 to 10 times a day everyday. You can imagine. So, if you fap 3 times a month is already much better than 3 a week, don't you think? with 3 times a month you fap 36 times a year. with 3 times a week you fap 156times a year, with 3 times a day 1095!!! The frequency makes a huge difference. I guess that with your 11 days streak you already did much better than usual, right? Perfect. Now restart! Maybe you relapse after 20 days: restart another time and try to reach 30! I promise you, the first 30 days are very difficult. Between 30 and 60 is already much better but you need to be careful not to become arrogant and relapse naively. After 60 is much more difficult. After 90 days you feel like you never felt before in your life. If you relapse at the 100th day you will just say "what the fuck? I was addicted to this? it's definitely not worthy" and you will restart another big streak without difficulties.

    Stay strong and good luck man!
     

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