I have completed my first 5 days of a reboot ever. Firstly I was so honey I was imagining having sex in my mind with everything that moved, people, animals, passers by on the street, old and young alike. I was so uncomfortable down there it was really hurting me. That feeling eased off around day 4 and I could feel that sexual energy spreading upwards into my tommy and being reabsorbed back into my body. I was so proud and happy with myself and felt I would easily make it through and escape my addiction on my first attempt. I was already feeling huge improvements in my self esteem, people skills, others started noticing me more too. First time ever I would not shy out from talking to people and felt confident to maintain short conversations. On my day 5 extreme loneliness has hit me, it was even more noticeable as I have dropped from my previous high. The trigger was a real life event. At work a man has fainted and I had to deal with him. He was 2 years younger than me, appeared to be shy and had a history of anxiety, loneliness, depression. When I asked him if there was anybody that could pick him up and take him home he said no. He lived in this area for more than 2 years and felt he could not even ask the people at work to help. This was like looking in the mirror for me. I am like him! I was already on day 5 of my reboot and felt it was me that has brought all of this on as I have somehow connected to him and understood where his problem was. All I wanted to say to him was STOP FAPING!!! CANT YOU SEE HOW THIS IS AFFECTING YOU? But I was at work and could not do that. I am sure I would have been fired. I never met him before but just looking at him made me feel very scared and hopeless and it brought me right down from my positive high. All I wanted to do is run away from the black whole that was encompassing him. I could not deal with the realisation that the last 20 years of my life has been waisted by my occasional faping. I never understood that people were avoiding me because I carried around with me that black hole of depleted energy. I started faping since puberty and since then started suffering from depression and moved from one addiction to the next. Because of my fapping I could not feel or connect to the energy radiated by other people. For them I was like that man was for me today. Total energy black hole. I knew people were avoiding me and I was avoiding them....... For 20 years I could not understand why. So I went home and made myself better the only way I knew how...but it did not work this time. I immediately regretted it and now I do not only feel honey again but also very washed out. In bed struggling to do anything now. Now can see clearly how I have waisted my best years of life. I am trying not to feel sorry for myself but it is hard. I know if I continue to feel sorry for meself I will waist another 20 years. I have to pull through to the end and come out on the other side to live the ramaining years I have got left. I just do not know how to being so alone.