I need help, how do people deal with pressure?

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Phantompoint, Dec 3, 2018.

  1. Phantompoint

    Phantompoint Fapstronaut

    I have problems dealing with pressure, it may well be a form of social anxiety but I am always impressed how people can stay so confident when facing severe pressure.

    I always have the problem of panicking before competitions, presentations, job interviews, getting on stage (except when I practice so many times I forgot to panic) and of course, pleasing a girl (not talking about sex here).

    I had a year of clinical depression and I was on antidepressant for at least 6 months. Being depressed gave me the leeway (excuse) to walk away from serious matters but in reality I was only delaying my doom. I soon realised (that's six months later) antidepressant numbs your dopamine receptors so that you feel indifferent instead of depressed so I cut them off completely and went on my nofap journey to cure my depression.

    The journey is by no means easy and I had relapsed many many times. My highest streak was 40 days but it was still less than half way from 90 days. I did learn how to stay positive about many things and I now understand being depressed won't help the situation. However, my brain is still hard wired to stay away from risks and competitions in order to avoid feeling depressed. When I force myself to high risks and competitive scenarios, for example going to a big corporation interview, my body shakes so bad and I get stomachache right before stepping into the big room. I would cough so severely I couldn't stop it. Nothing can ease it except running away from the scene. I feel so useless. I know by fact that if you want to be successful, you must be capable of dealing large amount of pressure and anxiety. Anyone out there with similar reactions? How do people deal with severe pressure?
  2. Taking a deep breath, cultivating inner calmness. Also i dont want to promote addictive substances, but kratom (legal where i live) has helped me at times. You might check out infinite waters about this, his tips have been really helpful for me.
  3. Its not that there so confident its that they know whatever it is that's going on they just have to face it and handle it to me I always say "No matter what I will handle whatever comes" . Sometimes people have asked me in situations how I was able to face extreme pressure bad health , lost my job , being single being dumped , being flat broke , I give them the same advice I gave you
    KevinN88 and Barlumedisperanza like this.
  4. PJT

    PJT Fapstronaut

    I know by fact that if you want to be successful, you must be capable of dealing large amount of pressure and anxiety. Anyone out there with similar reactions? How do people deal with severe pressure?[/QUOTE]

    I woke up today feeling the same thing you did and I came on this site to see if anyone touched on this subject so thank you. We have to deal with pressure all the time. i think you touched on it earlier; practice practice practice. Once we prepare and practice, the rest should follow suit. Atleast we know that we give it our all. Perhaps that will calm down the anxiety. I am also trying to make it a thing to put pressure on myself, to get used to it, to not run away from it. You can do this man. If you are going for an interview, anticipate questions and recite them in the mirror. Deep breaths and long counts should help ease your nerves too. I heard self affirmations work, I never done these myself. I used to drink coffee before presentations, but I dont think that necessarily worked other than me not caring so much about the actual presentation, or I would drink a red bull.
  5. elevate

    elevate Fapstronaut

    Circumstances are made not to matter as much by experiencing them more. Too little pressure and you'll lose your mental strength. Too much pressure and you'll be overwhelmed and maybe traumatized. You have to find ways to expose yourself at a rate that's best for you.

    There's no guarantees in life. The more risks you take, the more you'll fail, but also the more you'll succeed. If you're reaching beyond your current place, beyond your comfort zone, growing as a person, and doing something that might not work, it will most likely be difficult, scary, and uncertain. The experience of conditioning yourself to challenge these situations gives you the confidence of "no matter what happens, I'll handle it" whether it's a positive or a negative experience. Eventually you'll rack up enough positive experiences to realize that it's worth the risk of going through all the negative experiences.

    The pressure you feel is a fear of the outcome. You become overly concerned with doing the right thing to get a perfect outcome. You become excessively careful. That's the anxiety. You become so careful that you think too much and you mess yourself up. You believe that if you think about it enough that you'll be able to protect yourself from pain, problems, and negative experiences. Trying too hard to control what's not in your control rather than doing your best and allowing the outcome to happen as it should. That's how you gain experience and get better.

    It takes a lot of courage to reach beyond your current place. Repeated courage leads to competence. Repeated competence leads to confidence. Repeated confidence leads to more courage to reach further in all areas of your life. Most people want to skip this process and become competent, confident, and reach a perfect outcome right away... but reality doesn't work like that. If you do get lucky and receive the outcome you want without growing as a person, then you won't be able to repeat that success in the future.

    You deal with pressure by paying your dues via experiencing the negative experiences that come with being incompetent, insecure, and inexperienced at something. Doing something that might not work. Learning to handle the pain, problems, and negative experiences. Failing, being rejected, and making mistakes more. Until one day you'll have learned to bask in that tension, risk, and uncertainty.

    If you're looking for some magic bullet or secret technique, you've already lost. You have to earn the skills. You have to condition yourself to be able to take these risks and to gain the necessary experience.
  6. RachelThorpe

    RachelThorpe Fapstronaut

    This phase of depression comes in everyone's life but it is important how you deal with this. If you want success in your life, it is necessary to face the situation comes because this is the only solution to reduce your depression. There are lots of things that become obstacles for you but you are able to deal with this.

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