I need help

I really feel like I'm not in control of myself anymore. Every day I tell myself I won't do this again and I pray to God for forgiveness and I promise myself that I won't do it again. And then the very next day it happens again and then I feel so guilty and so sad and disappointed and lonely that I turn to sexting and pornography again for comfort. It's almost like a piece of my brain just turns off when I get urges, because I know what I am doing is wrong, I know the damage I'm doing to myself but I just can't get myself to stop. It gets to the point where my dick isn't even hard anymore and I'm just jacking my half flaccid dick for sometimes 6 hours at a time whilst searching for new girls to sext and new videos to watch. I don't even orgasm, I just get off on the high that this depravity gives me and it's like I enjoy being depraved, like I enjoy degrading myself and objectifying and using girls. I feel so helpless, this happens everytime. I have gone for really long streaks, my last one was 160 days and every time when one ends I fall down this rabbit hole of relapse and just completely going bonkers and masturbating day and night and not eating and not sleeping.

I realise that I cannot do this alone and that I need people who will hold me accountable and whom I can text when I get urges and with whom I can be brutally honest. I'll do the same for you. If you're interested then please comment or send me a text.

 

Gracias, hombre, por las palabras de aliento. Te recuerdo de hace un tiempo. Nunca me rendiré.